A woman I briefly knew about 6 years ago claimed I had gotten her pregnant. I immediately offered to be there for her and the child. She lived in Northern California, so I immediately had her visit me and my family (mother and sister) in Southern California, offered to have her move down to me, and that we would both take care of the child.
Before a blood test could happen to prove the pregnancy or my involvement, we got into an argument online that ended with her blocking me from every method I knew to reach her. She vanished. All our normal communication methods closed which regularly included messaging on the internet, postings on live journal and email. I hunted for a year online and via a letter to her family residence, all to no response. I went to her known webpages, her friends webpages…anyplace I could to figure out if she was actually pregnant. I eventually figured she had been lying. There was no evidence that she ever had a child, at least that I knew how to find.
The whole situation was fishy from the start. The only way I knew to make sense of it was that she had been lying to me about the entire thing. After over a year of looking around for any evidence, I concluded that it was all not true. Her behavior was consistent with that of other women who use words like pregnancy to manipulate men. I finally gave up, as I couldn't believe that a pregnant mother would intentionally split on a willing father, and forgo the emotional and practical support thereof…etc. It made and still makes no sense.
A few days ago, I got a call from a child services department. Apparently, they have been searching for me for a year regarding an opened claim against me for child support! Obviously, I accepted their offer to take a genetic test, which is currently being scheduled for the end of January. To prepare myself, I need to know what my rights are with this.
Can she ask for 6 years of back support after completely ditching me, a guy who was a willing dad?
Can I fight for full / joint custody?
Do I have any recourse for her hiding my son for 5 years?
What assets of mine could be suddenly swept away in California to pay for back pay before I have a chance to defend myself? What can I legally protect?
Does her previous behavior give me any ammunition against her if she unfairly tries to go after me for these things? She could have found me in 5minutes if she was doing this out of any concern for the child, yet she let that department search for a year? Does this help me?
My intention is to be the dad to this child if it is mine, and somehow try to make up for the 5 years of relationship that she has stolen from me, but I do not feel it fair for her to financially slaughter me after all she has done. I was denied everything, and was never given a chance to support any of this process. I fear that this is only about money for her, and I have heard how weak the protections seem to be for fathers in this state (California).
I am desperate for advice, and for information concerning any details I am missing here.
For background, I have little money left over every month from my job. I live in an apartment in Long Beach. The lion's share of my wage goes to my rent and bills, I certainly am not living some sort of rich lifestyle, though I am not technically at poverty-line. I do make 45,000 a year, but anybody from this area knows how little that really is, especially considering that I have to drive 2 hours a day for work. My expenses are very high, and the support calculator doesn't seem to consider any of this… would a judge? I am trying to move to a different division in the bay area, which is closer to where I am guessing they live. How could partial child custody and health insurance from me weigh in on what I may have to pay if this goes into a fully legal process?
Thanks.
-Michael
Before a blood test could happen to prove the pregnancy or my involvement, we got into an argument online that ended with her blocking me from every method I knew to reach her. She vanished. All our normal communication methods closed which regularly included messaging on the internet, postings on live journal and email. I hunted for a year online and via a letter to her family residence, all to no response. I went to her known webpages, her friends webpages…anyplace I could to figure out if she was actually pregnant. I eventually figured she had been lying. There was no evidence that she ever had a child, at least that I knew how to find.
The whole situation was fishy from the start. The only way I knew to make sense of it was that she had been lying to me about the entire thing. After over a year of looking around for any evidence, I concluded that it was all not true. Her behavior was consistent with that of other women who use words like pregnancy to manipulate men. I finally gave up, as I couldn't believe that a pregnant mother would intentionally split on a willing father, and forgo the emotional and practical support thereof…etc. It made and still makes no sense.
A few days ago, I got a call from a child services department. Apparently, they have been searching for me for a year regarding an opened claim against me for child support! Obviously, I accepted their offer to take a genetic test, which is currently being scheduled for the end of January. To prepare myself, I need to know what my rights are with this.
Can she ask for 6 years of back support after completely ditching me, a guy who was a willing dad?
Can I fight for full / joint custody?
Do I have any recourse for her hiding my son for 5 years?
What assets of mine could be suddenly swept away in California to pay for back pay before I have a chance to defend myself? What can I legally protect?
Does her previous behavior give me any ammunition against her if she unfairly tries to go after me for these things? She could have found me in 5minutes if she was doing this out of any concern for the child, yet she let that department search for a year? Does this help me?
My intention is to be the dad to this child if it is mine, and somehow try to make up for the 5 years of relationship that she has stolen from me, but I do not feel it fair for her to financially slaughter me after all she has done. I was denied everything, and was never given a chance to support any of this process. I fear that this is only about money for her, and I have heard how weak the protections seem to be for fathers in this state (California).
I am desperate for advice, and for information concerning any details I am missing here.
For background, I have little money left over every month from my job. I live in an apartment in Long Beach. The lion's share of my wage goes to my rent and bills, I certainly am not living some sort of rich lifestyle, though I am not technically at poverty-line. I do make 45,000 a year, but anybody from this area knows how little that really is, especially considering that I have to drive 2 hours a day for work. My expenses are very high, and the support calculator doesn't seem to consider any of this… would a judge? I am trying to move to a different division in the bay area, which is closer to where I am guessing they live. How could partial child custody and health insurance from me weigh in on what I may have to pay if this goes into a fully legal process?
Thanks.
-Michael
