Not Sure Where I fit in

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Kaytlyn

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About 2 months ago, my husbands cousin met this girl and all hell has broken lose. I have been contacting him through e-mails, but nothing negative or harassing. Recently I found out that they have filed a police report against me (for who knows what) and a civil harassment restraining order against me as well.. Me and my husbands cousin were very close best friends honestly and ever since he met this girl there have been accusations and assumptions along with a lot of he said she said. Im not sure how to react or even what to do..

So what happens now??
 
Can you describe what actually happened?

Were you asked to stop contacting them?
 
You're being a bit vague, Kaytlyn. Something happened to trigger the series of events.

If you can share a basic outline ("She said something, I defended HIM, she got all upset" ) it might be easier to guide you.

Why were you and she in contact to begin with?
 
Ah. Thank you kindly.

OP - stop. That's all you have to do.

Your cousin is a competent adult, and your interference is causing him problems.
 
December 29 2013 my cousin got in a relationship with this girl.
I have text and e-mailed him as a concerned family member, because it is clear he is using drugs again and he truly does NOT seem to be happy.
I have NOT threatened or harassed as far as I am concerned. Awhile ago I received a phone call from my cousin telling me to" just stop and to own up to what I had done" I was trying to understand what he was talking about and that is when I heard her in the background he repreated what she had said and that's when I replied with " Why don't you speak for yourself instead of lettrteing some bitch speak for you" which was followed by my cousins GF responding to the comment with " you wont be saying that when I have you raped in front of your kids"

Yes they have asked me to stop contacting them as well as I have asked them to stop contacting me. I stopped for awhile until she started with more accusations about me. That is when I e-mailed my cousin and talked to him again as a concerned family member. We all started out as friends and NOW it has just blown so far out of control with false details. I have also been told by my cousins mother that she has told my cousin if he doesn't go through with the actions being taken on me and 4 other parties that the GF would file a restraining order against my cousin.
 
Kaytlyn, you're not doing yourself any favors.

It was out of line to say that to your cousin. Completely out of line. You've been asked repeatedly to stop contacting them, and honestly, that's what you should be doing.

Now does that mean that the girlfriend wasn't also out of line? No. But I'd bet she wouldn't have reacted had you not started the whole thing.

Leave them alone.
 
Her and I were in contact because she was telling me that she found Meth and a pipe in his car I received these phone calls several times pretty much once a week. I started getting more concerned about my cousin so I was texting him more. It all blew up and he became pissed at me. I have called her names and told her I can see through her BS that she is feeding into his head. That is when the court crap started.
 
that's what I was afraid of. so if I stop and completely stop then this will all go away. The police report that was filed is what I am more so worried about. Isnt that slander or false file?
 
Kaytlyn said:
Her and I were in contact because she was telling me that she found Meth and a pipe in his car I received these phone calls several times pretty much once a week. I started getting more concerned about my cousin so I was texting him more. It all blew up and he became pissed at me. I have called her names and told her I can see through her BS that she is feeding into his head. That is when the court crap started.
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Honestly? If I was the girlfriend, I would have filed for harassment charges too.

Your cousin is an adult. He is not incompetent. His relationship with her is none of your business. You're doing nothing except proving her point.

No, it's not slander or anything else. You WERE harassing them.
 
How is being a concerned family member harassment. NO contact was made to her on her phone her e-mail or her social media. It was all me to him. Through his phone or HIS email. NO CONTACT was EVER made to her.

He has also contacted me after SHE told me to stop contacting HIM.. HE has NOT once told me to STOP.
 
It becomes harassing when you denigrate his girlfriend, call her names and question his ability to make decisions.

Will such a charge stick? We cannot guess.

Suffice it to say, the sensible option is to let him handle his life.
 
Kaytlyn said:
that's what I was afraid of. so if I stop and completely stop then this will all go away. The police report that was filed is what I am more so worried about. Isnt that slander or false file?
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Interesting thread we ave going here.
I'm curious, OP, what did his GF tell the police?
What did she say you did?
Let's face it, the police don't care if you call people names.
They do care if you threaten to have a person raped in front of their children.
Most people would have reported that to the police.

Yet, you didn't say if you reported it. Did you report her threat to have you raped in front of your children to the police?
Now, I'm just an old man, OP, so I might be confused.
Were you the one who threatened her with being raped in front of her kids, OP?

You see, OP, that would cause me much more concern than if I had balled her a B*TCH!!!!
 
Kaytlyn said:
December 29 2013 my cousin got in a relationship with this girl.
I have text and e-mailed him as a concerned family member, because it is clear he is using drugs again and he truly does NOT seem to be happy.
I have NOT threatened or harassed as far as I am concerned. Awhile ago I received a phone call from my cousin telling me to" just stop and to own up to what I had done" I was trying to understand what he was talking about and that is when I heard her in the background he repreated what she had said and that's when I replied with "

Why don't you speak for yourself instead of lettrteing some bitch speak for you" which was followed by my cousins GF responding to the comment with " you wont be saying that when I have you raped in front of your kids"

Yes they have asked me to stop contacting them as well as I have asked them to stop contacting me. I stopped for awhile until she started with more accusations about me. That is when I e-mailed my cousin and talked to him again as a concerned family member. We all started out as friends and NOW it has just blown so far out of control with false details. I have also been told by my cousins mother that she has told my cousin if he doesn't go through with the actions being taken on me and 4 other parties that the GF would file a restraining order against my cousin.
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That could be the basis for her complaint to the police.
That's the kind of statement that causes the police to have more than a passing interest in an alleged insult.

It doesn't make sense to me that you didn't report that.
Maybe not at first, but after she reported you for simply calling her a"B", and telling her to butt out of your business.

From a legal standpoint, such a statement is indefensible.

That's considered an assault in many jurisdictions, and a terroristic threat in others.
In many cases, someone uttering such a gross, despicable statement often finds themselves charged with a felony of one variety or the other.

The utterance could also be considered harmful to children, and cause other legal charges to accrue to the person uttering such filth.

It might also generate a CPS/DFCS investigation and place the person's parental rights in jeopardy, too.
 
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Okay Answers to your questions.

Yes I did report her to the police. As soon as I was threatened to be raped law enforcement was involved. I have Call numbers for dates of my reports.
Like I said I have admitted to name calling on the GF, but I have not once threatened either of them with physical harm.

I don't know what she is claiming that I did. I was informed this morning through e-mail that a police report and a restraining order were filed against me yesterday. Which upon further review turns out you CAN NOT get a restraining order on someone you have lived with in the last 2 years. I find this interesting that my cousin is being forced to get a restraining order against me when his drivers license has my address on it and I am still receiving mail for him here.
 
What makes you say that you can't get a restraining order on someone you have lived with in the last 2 years?

(It's not true at all)
 
Kaytlyn said:
Okay Answers to your questions.

Yes I did report her to the police. As soon as I was threatened to be raped law enforcement was involved. I have Call numbers for dates of my reports.
Like I said I have admitted to name calling on the GF, but I have not once threatened either of them with physical harm.

I don't know what she is claiming that I did. I was informed this morning through e-mail that a police report and a restraining order were filed against me yesterday. Which upon further review turns out you CAN NOT get a restraining order on someone you have lived with in the last 2 years. I find this interesting that my cousin is being forced to get a restraining order against me when his drivers license has my address on it and I am still receiving mail for him here.
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Did you request the police respond to your residence so you could report a crime?

You see, if she told you, "You wont be saying that when I have you raped in front of your kids"; the police would have acted.
Plus, your cousin was there.
Would he have lied?
Even if he had lied, the police would have investigated your allegation.

Telling someone, "You wont be saying that when I have you raped in front of your kids", will pique any police officer's interest and curiosity.
If you had been raped, or you do get raped, and the police do nothing; someone will have much explaining to do.
The police aren't stupid, and they aren't lazy insofar as things like this are concerned, and no cop I've ever met wants to see kids hurt.

Sorry, you're leaving something out.
At this point, it doesn't matter, a slong as you stay on yoru side of town and away form her and your cousin.

Make your life easy, lady.

One final note, madam.

In California, terroristic threats are now called "criminal threats".

Criminal threats: A crime that puts a person in a state of fear.

Criminal Threats are defined under California Penal Code 422 PC, which expressly lays out this crime - "criminal threats" (formerly known as terrorist threats).

A "criminal threat" occurs when another person threatens to kill or physically harm YOU and

you are placed in a state of reasonably sustained fear for your safety or for the safety of your immediate family;
the threat is specific, unequivocal and;
said threat is communicated verbally, in writing, or via an electronically transmitted device.

Criminal threats can be charged whether or not the perpetrator possesses the ability to carry out the threat, and even if the perpetrator intended to carry through with the threat.

Can you see why what she said to you puzzles me?

Its a crime.

Its a very serious crime, that is very easy to prove.

I'm baffled.

 
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