If someone tells you they are an asshole then believe them.
Agree, 100%
Want to know whether you can call someone an
asshole or not? Below are a list of the characteristics that are commonly attributed to assholes. If you show one or more of these characteristics, don't worry too much about it, we all do. But, if someone you know possesses more than 5 of these characteristics, then they are officially assholes. The best you can do is learn how to work with them:
They jump in, don't let you get a word in, and always have something to say about everything. If you have an interesting story, they have an even better one. Have something to say? No. Have an opinion? Well, its wrong before you've even finished explaining it and they'll tell you why you're wrong in great detail.
Their opinion of foreigners leaves you squirming and their foul mouth adds to your feeling of revulsion. It is not funny to make fun of people from other countries all of the time and that potty mouth should have been left in your teens. Assholes have a tendency to be funny but at times can find themselves making the odd inappropriate joke that leaves the whole room stunned in silence.
We all know when they're lying about their most recent accomplishment or when they tell you a crazy 'fisherman' story. As entertaining as they can be, you know they're lying about the
number of partners they have had, the amount of money they have, and how successful their businesses have been. Just the fact that they're talking about these things makes them an asshole but because they're lying, their even more of an asshole.
Assholes can be overly touchy. They will slap your back, bear hug you, hold your hand for too long after a hand shake, soft punch you constantly or all of these. The awkwardness causes you physical discomfort everytime.
Every accomplishment has been outdone by an asshole somewhere, and they'll tell you as soon as they can. They "one up" every story to appear more accomplished, but instead they come across as extremely ass-holish.
Is there one donut left in the box? The asshole will eat it, and make a point of it too. Is there a bit of milk left? The asshole will finish it and leave the empty carton in the fridge. If an asshole wants something, they'll take it. The desires of other people are never of any concern to an asshole.
They never reach for their wallets when you're in a group, and if they haven't disappeared into the bathroom, they didn't bring enough cash. If you ever buy something for an asshole, don't expect to get anything in return.
You can smell them well before you can see them, and that is not a good thing. It is intoxicating enough for you to notice it in mid-conversation, and become so overcome that you can't concentrate. Its too strong, and you can still smell their bad body odor underneath.
You never know where you stand when it comes to an asshole. They are living in a
self-centered world and any opportunity they find to stab you in the back, they'll take. They don't understand loyalty and because of that, they'll ALWAYS screw you over!!
No matter how many times you've told them about your family, they will never remember how many kids you have or whether you have any at all. It took them 6 months to remember your name and they still don't pronounce it right so you can't expect an asshole to remember anything else you tell them. They only remember what will help them, and your personal life is of no use to them.
We all know assholes. Perhaps, you are one. Now, psychologists are trying to answer one of life's biggest mysteries: What, exactly, makes someone an asshole?
Key Takeaways
- To be an asshole is a moral deficit, but it's unclear what exactly defines an asshole.
- Aside from being male, researchers found that assholes are thought of as self-centered, aggressive, and manipulative.
- Existentialist philosophy says that we are not simply the product of our past. We each have the power to stop being an asshole.
Who's the biggest asshole in your life? One good way to answer the question, "What makes an asshole?" is to conjure up a familiar roster of assholes and to find the commonalties among them. When you think of the assholes you know, what binds them all together? Of course, this looks perilously like arguing from personal anecdote. Your assholes are not my assholes.
So, a team of researchers from the University of Georgia tried a more systematic approach. They asked 1,106 people who they considered assholes, and they categorized all the trends that emerged. Their findings were reported in the journal
Collabra: Psychology.
First, asshole is clearly a gendered word. Roughly 80% were male, which makes it the counterpart to the female-focused "bitch." Second, the top three markers of assholery were self-centeredness, aggression, and manipulativeness. Third, as the authors write, "In general, violation of social norms and mores… appear to be central correlates of nominated 'asshole" behaviors.'" In other words, an asshole is simply someone who doesn't behave as is expected of polite company.
One particular finding stood out: The largest "asshole" characteristic was actually "uncategorizable" because the descriptions were so personalized and specific. Assholes are, in many ways, the antithesis of everything we value. They are the Mr. Hyde to our Dr. Jekyll, the nemesis to our hero. It's no wonder, then, that assholes are often so hard to define.
That said, it's perhaps not so surprising that arrogance, self-centeredness, and entitlement feature prominently among assholes. There are few things so unlikable as the narcissist and the self-obsessed. We all know an egoist — someone who will do things only for themselves, motivated by self-love and private ambition.
There is
evidence to show that being other-regarding, in which we demonstrate altruistic behaviors, leads to happy, satisfied, well-functioning relationships. The corollary of this is that those who are selfish or self-absorbed will have fewer of these relationships. This then leads to the familiar, "I broke up with my boyfriend because he's an asshole."
One study shows that "humblebragging" — the arrogance associated with insincere, faux humility — is the most unlikable trait. While
narcissists might come across as "as energetic, interesting, and entertaining" at first, people often
end up hating them or possibly
rejecting them outright. In short, assholes are funny for a bit, but no one wants to be around an asshole for long.
We typically don't think of being an asshole as a good thing, but there's a difference between "good" assholes and "bad" assholes.
markmanson.net
Eighty years ago, researchers began one of the longest and most complicated projects to understand human behavior in history. It would take almost 50 years to complete. But their work would define an entire field of psychology.
It started with an idea: that people have different fundamental character traits and these character traits are inherited and stable throughout one's life. It was the idea of personality.
The problem was that there were an infinite number of human behaviors, so how could you know what was caused by someone's personality, and what was caused by all the shit going on around them?
To test and find stable personality traits, researchers would have to make an exhaustive list of all of the possible human behaviors and then measure these behaviors in a lot of people over a very long time to determine what was fundamental personality and what was just noise and bullshit.
The project started out humbly enough. In 1936, Gordon Allport and Henry Odbert pulled out a dictionary and went through every single entry, writing down
any word that could potentially describe human behavior.
1
Talk about a one-way train ticket to Boresville.
We typically don't think of being an asshole as a good thing, but there's a difference between "good" assholes and "bad" assholes.
markmanson.net
