I am writing to get information on how to go about getting some issues in my divorce resolved. I'll give you a quick rundown of the details of my divorce, and what I want resolved. What I need from you is a recommendation of what my next step is and if I can do this on my own. I do not have counsel, nor did I have counsel then which is why I need help now to fix my issues. I have had some experience with filing motions and appearing ex parte where the outcome was in my favor but this issue is far larger than I can handle and I am unsure of what motion(s) I need to file to achieve what I want.
My divorce in Johnson County District 12 was final February 19, 2010. My ex-husband was and is currently the sole custodian of our four children. I'm afraid that I was too weak to fight him and with no counsel I agreed to things that time has proven to be very wrong. I have developed a spine and am ready to fight now. First and foremost is the sole custody issue. I was ignorant of what exactly it was and further research has shown me that it is not what I want or what my children need. So I want custody changed to joint custody and he can retain residential custody because the children are happy in their schools. The second issue that I agreed to: my children cannot have any contact with my significant other(we have been together for about 3 years). There is no reason given just a one line statement in the decree. Last April my ex-husband agreed in mediation that he would allow contact with no conditions. He also agreed to my having visitation during the week because I have a retail job that doesn't always give me weekends off so I would have more time with the kids. He never signed the mediation agreement so I could not file it. It is not binding I know this. My ex-husband had no problems sticking to this agreement for a year. Other issues cropped up though I wasn't getting to see my kids every other weekend let alone during the week he would text me or his mother would, saying that one of the girls was busy or "sick" so they couldn't come. Sometimes there would be a month between visits. My son who is autistic, my ex-husband put into a residential school which at first I wasn't allowed to see him because my ex-husband hadn't put me on the approved visitor list. Then I was only allowed to see him for 2hrs at a time. Eventually I was allowed to take him out on day trips and when I wanted to take him home for a visit on the weekend the case worker told me that she had to have permission from my ex-husband before she would approve that. I told her that I had court-ordered visitation with all my children every other weekend and that I didn't need his permission to see my son. Finally I was allowed to bring him home.
Issues with my oldest child's behavior came up, she's 17 and she was flunking most of her classes. My ex-husband decided that she had Asperger's and that she might have other mental problems. I did not agree with this and told him so. He informed me that I had no idea what was going on with her and that she needed a complete psychological evaluation. I spoke to her and told her that she needed to focus more and try harder that sometimes things are hard or unpleasant but we have to do them in order to progress in life. The tests that she took confirmed that she has ADDHD but no other mental affliction. This happened in January. February for his birthday was the last time I saw my son. I tried to set up a time to take him on a weekend in March around the 15th. I called his case worker and I was informed that my son was now with a foster family on the weekends so I could not see him. When I asked why the case worker informed me that this was the plan the whole time and that this is what my ex-husband wanted. Of course I am upset I do not understand why or how this can happen. I did not sign over my parental rights, what can I do about this?
The straw that broke the camel's back was the following Sunday the 15th of March. I get a text at 11:20 am from ex-husband ( I pick up the kids at 12pm every time) that it will only be the youngest because the middle child went to a hotel party the night before and the oldest said she was sick. I said this is my weekend I have a right to see my children, all of them. I asked him if he needed help being reminded the day before so they could all be ready. He brought the oldest and the youngest because the middle one wasn't home. I got to our pick up place with my significant other in the car with me and ex-husband got out of his truck and stalked to my car and leaned against my car while looking menacingly at me. I used to have a restraining order against him that expired in October of 2010 and he is a very large and intimidating person. I am still scared of him so I was definitely spooked. My significant other had his phone out and acted like he was videotaping and said "what's up?" my ex-husband left and allowed the girls to get in the car. I texted ex-husband that I would drop off the girls at the police station in Gardner (where they live) I didn't want another incident. He texted me back that his mother would be dropping off and picking up the girls from now on and he would never talk to me again. But that wasn't the end of it he texted me the part of the final divorce decree that states that my significant other shall have no contact with the children. He also said that the tentative good faith arrangement per our mediation session is NOT legal or binding. Basically that he wasn't going to follow the agreement. Then he threatened me with calling the proper authorities if I didn't follow the divorce decree. Then he was done talking to me.
Since then it took me a week to find out that my oldest needed to have her gall bladder removed, the day before the surgery. Only because ex-husband 's mother called my mother to tell her and my mom called me worried and wondering why I didn't let her know. My youngest broke a rib at daycare a few weeks ago I found out a week after it happened because my daughter wanted to know why I wasn't calling her to ask about her. This information and more is not available to me even though it's part of the child custody arrangement. So here it is in a nutshell:
• I would like to enforce child visitation (especially with my son)
• I would like my significant other to be allowed to see the kids, there is no reason for him not to just spite
• I would like Joint custody
• I want this all enforceable by law so ex-husband cannot play his games anymore I would like to get on with my life
I know there is a motion for enforcing child visitation and this is something I can do on my own if necessary but I would like it all tied together so I don't spend a year fighting Mr. Miller for the things that I should of fought for earlier. What I need to know is what course of action I need to follow and can I do this on my own or partly on my own. I have tried to go the mediation route again but ex-husband is unresponsive to voluntary participation. I also feel that it will not satisfy all the issues permanently. I have been in contact with the mediator we have used in the past and she is willing to see us but has not responded to text about setting up an appointment. He will have to be forced to go. I do have documentation to back what I have said.
My divorce in Johnson County District 12 was final February 19, 2010. My ex-husband was and is currently the sole custodian of our four children. I'm afraid that I was too weak to fight him and with no counsel I agreed to things that time has proven to be very wrong. I have developed a spine and am ready to fight now. First and foremost is the sole custody issue. I was ignorant of what exactly it was and further research has shown me that it is not what I want or what my children need. So I want custody changed to joint custody and he can retain residential custody because the children are happy in their schools. The second issue that I agreed to: my children cannot have any contact with my significant other(we have been together for about 3 years). There is no reason given just a one line statement in the decree. Last April my ex-husband agreed in mediation that he would allow contact with no conditions. He also agreed to my having visitation during the week because I have a retail job that doesn't always give me weekends off so I would have more time with the kids. He never signed the mediation agreement so I could not file it. It is not binding I know this. My ex-husband had no problems sticking to this agreement for a year. Other issues cropped up though I wasn't getting to see my kids every other weekend let alone during the week he would text me or his mother would, saying that one of the girls was busy or "sick" so they couldn't come. Sometimes there would be a month between visits. My son who is autistic, my ex-husband put into a residential school which at first I wasn't allowed to see him because my ex-husband hadn't put me on the approved visitor list. Then I was only allowed to see him for 2hrs at a time. Eventually I was allowed to take him out on day trips and when I wanted to take him home for a visit on the weekend the case worker told me that she had to have permission from my ex-husband before she would approve that. I told her that I had court-ordered visitation with all my children every other weekend and that I didn't need his permission to see my son. Finally I was allowed to bring him home.
Issues with my oldest child's behavior came up, she's 17 and she was flunking most of her classes. My ex-husband decided that she had Asperger's and that she might have other mental problems. I did not agree with this and told him so. He informed me that I had no idea what was going on with her and that she needed a complete psychological evaluation. I spoke to her and told her that she needed to focus more and try harder that sometimes things are hard or unpleasant but we have to do them in order to progress in life. The tests that she took confirmed that she has ADDHD but no other mental affliction. This happened in January. February for his birthday was the last time I saw my son. I tried to set up a time to take him on a weekend in March around the 15th. I called his case worker and I was informed that my son was now with a foster family on the weekends so I could not see him. When I asked why the case worker informed me that this was the plan the whole time and that this is what my ex-husband wanted. Of course I am upset I do not understand why or how this can happen. I did not sign over my parental rights, what can I do about this?
The straw that broke the camel's back was the following Sunday the 15th of March. I get a text at 11:20 am from ex-husband ( I pick up the kids at 12pm every time) that it will only be the youngest because the middle child went to a hotel party the night before and the oldest said she was sick. I said this is my weekend I have a right to see my children, all of them. I asked him if he needed help being reminded the day before so they could all be ready. He brought the oldest and the youngest because the middle one wasn't home. I got to our pick up place with my significant other in the car with me and ex-husband got out of his truck and stalked to my car and leaned against my car while looking menacingly at me. I used to have a restraining order against him that expired in October of 2010 and he is a very large and intimidating person. I am still scared of him so I was definitely spooked. My significant other had his phone out and acted like he was videotaping and said "what's up?" my ex-husband left and allowed the girls to get in the car. I texted ex-husband that I would drop off the girls at the police station in Gardner (where they live) I didn't want another incident. He texted me back that his mother would be dropping off and picking up the girls from now on and he would never talk to me again. But that wasn't the end of it he texted me the part of the final divorce decree that states that my significant other shall have no contact with the children. He also said that the tentative good faith arrangement per our mediation session is NOT legal or binding. Basically that he wasn't going to follow the agreement. Then he threatened me with calling the proper authorities if I didn't follow the divorce decree. Then he was done talking to me.
Since then it took me a week to find out that my oldest needed to have her gall bladder removed, the day before the surgery. Only because ex-husband 's mother called my mother to tell her and my mom called me worried and wondering why I didn't let her know. My youngest broke a rib at daycare a few weeks ago I found out a week after it happened because my daughter wanted to know why I wasn't calling her to ask about her. This information and more is not available to me even though it's part of the child custody arrangement. So here it is in a nutshell:
• I would like to enforce child visitation (especially with my son)
• I would like my significant other to be allowed to see the kids, there is no reason for him not to just spite
• I would like Joint custody
• I want this all enforceable by law so ex-husband cannot play his games anymore I would like to get on with my life
I know there is a motion for enforcing child visitation and this is something I can do on my own if necessary but I would like it all tied together so I don't spend a year fighting Mr. Miller for the things that I should of fought for earlier. What I need to know is what course of action I need to follow and can I do this on my own or partly on my own. I have tried to go the mediation route again but ex-husband is unresponsive to voluntary participation. I also feel that it will not satisfy all the issues permanently. I have been in contact with the mediator we have used in the past and she is willing to see us but has not responded to text about setting up an appointment. He will have to be forced to go. I do have documentation to back what I have said.
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