Meadowlark
New Member
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A long time friend who used to be my art teacher in high school recently requested to get together with me over dinner. She's in her late 60's, is at least 10-12 years older than me, never married, and has no children. She confided to me that she's just recently had a falling out with her two nephews (her sister's children) over the treatment of their mother who is in her 70's and in frail health (they want her to vacate her apartment in the Manhattan to live closer to them in Staten Island), of which her sister told her in private she is "dead-set against" - but too intimidated to admit to her sons, who are (in my friend's words, "strong-willed", and "know what's best for mom").
Apparently they all had a meeting about this and it turned very ugly after both my friend and her nephews wrestled for Power of Attorney. My friend said she could've contested it, but doesn't want to put her sister through the duress of making the required number of appearances in the courts. My friend's conviction is that the nephews are more interested in what's more convenient for them than they are with regards to what would be in the best interests of their mother. As a result, she has decided to sever her ties with the nephews and is very adamant about preventing any of her own assets from going to them - should anything happen to her (they being next of kin).
She asked me (point blank) during dinner if I'd be willing to be her power of attorney and/or executor of her estate, as she would rather leave her assets to me in exchange for me taking the responsibilities for making the major decisions with regards to her future, health issues, and/or long term care. She knows as my late mother's only child, that I'd been in a similar position until her passing 5 years ago.
I told her I'd need time to think about it and would also need more information from her elder lawyer, such as more specifics about the responsibilities involved.
My wife says I could be walking into a potential hornet's nest, especially if anything happens to her and I might have to deal with her nephews down the road, assuming they could contest my position legally (especially if there is any inheritance money or assets involved).
As far as I know, she has no outstanding debts, owns her house in NJ (although the colony in which she lives owns the land), and a summer home in the Hamptons L.I.
I'm uncertain as to whether she's paid off her mortgages, and if she would have to abide by the colony's standards - if she's in the position where she has to sell her house and maintain certain standards (i.e., maintenance, repairs, etc.).
I realize there are still some gray areas with regards to getting a clearer picture of her current finances, debts vs. assets, etc.
Bottom Line: Would anyone have any advice, suggestions, or know what kinds of questions should I be asking to ensure that I won't be making a decision that I may later regret?
Any advise or suggestions would be most appreciated.
A long time friend who used to be my art teacher in high school recently requested to get together with me over dinner. She's in her late 60's, is at least 10-12 years older than me, never married, and has no children. She confided to me that she's just recently had a falling out with her two nephews (her sister's children) over the treatment of their mother who is in her 70's and in frail health (they want her to vacate her apartment in the Manhattan to live closer to them in Staten Island), of which her sister told her in private she is "dead-set against" - but too intimidated to admit to her sons, who are (in my friend's words, "strong-willed", and "know what's best for mom").
Apparently they all had a meeting about this and it turned very ugly after both my friend and her nephews wrestled for Power of Attorney. My friend said she could've contested it, but doesn't want to put her sister through the duress of making the required number of appearances in the courts. My friend's conviction is that the nephews are more interested in what's more convenient for them than they are with regards to what would be in the best interests of their mother. As a result, she has decided to sever her ties with the nephews and is very adamant about preventing any of her own assets from going to them - should anything happen to her (they being next of kin).
She asked me (point blank) during dinner if I'd be willing to be her power of attorney and/or executor of her estate, as she would rather leave her assets to me in exchange for me taking the responsibilities for making the major decisions with regards to her future, health issues, and/or long term care. She knows as my late mother's only child, that I'd been in a similar position until her passing 5 years ago.
I told her I'd need time to think about it and would also need more information from her elder lawyer, such as more specifics about the responsibilities involved.
My wife says I could be walking into a potential hornet's nest, especially if anything happens to her and I might have to deal with her nephews down the road, assuming they could contest my position legally (especially if there is any inheritance money or assets involved).
As far as I know, she has no outstanding debts, owns her house in NJ (although the colony in which she lives owns the land), and a summer home in the Hamptons L.I.
I'm uncertain as to whether she's paid off her mortgages, and if she would have to abide by the colony's standards - if she's in the position where she has to sell her house and maintain certain standards (i.e., maintenance, repairs, etc.).
I realize there are still some gray areas with regards to getting a clearer picture of her current finances, debts vs. assets, etc.
Bottom Line: Would anyone have any advice, suggestions, or know what kinds of questions should I be asking to ensure that I won't be making a decision that I may later regret?
Any advise or suggestions would be most appreciated.
