Being sued for unrealised wedding costs in California. Is it valid?

[Veronica1980]

Hi,

I am a citizen of singapore and was engaged to an american in california. He proposed to me over our chat and proceeded to arrange for a wedding. I flew to california a few days before the wedding, only to realised that I was jilted and left to myself at the airport.

I took a taxi to his only known address, but was not able to locate my then fiance. I flew back to Singapore after a 2-day search.

During the preparation of the wedding, I was not told explicitly the costs of wedding items, but was given brief descriptions of the preparations, eg. "100 singapore orchids were bought" and others similar to that. Other than acceptance of his proposal over the internet, there are no written agreements nor consent towards the wedding or any of the costs. There has been no engagement ring received by me and I was the one who bought the wedding rings, which have since been exchanged.

I would like to know the following:
1. Given the circumstances above, is he able to sue me for the wedding costs?
2. If yes, what can I do to fight the lawsuit?
3. Also, does he have to bring the lawsuit to singapore if he files?
4. How can he claim against me and what are my options?

Thank you.

 

[Veronica1980]

There are some updates to this and I'm not sure if I can sought further advice here.

1. Majority of the wedding costs were paid by a friend of mine, who later sued him and won. (This information came from my friend, I have not seen any legal documents about it.)

2. My then fiance has been harassing me for the past few days over my work email and on MSN (I've learned to keep all copies of it) and threatening to bring the suit to Singapore on grounds that I have been dodging him. FYI, I did change my job because the employer went bust and I have not changed my contact details including my home address and cell phone number for more than 2 years.

3. Under stress and panic, my friend from Point 1 advised me to pay him and thus, an email was sent from my address stating that he will be paid and it was indicated that my friend will pay on my behalf (I have documents of his advice as well). Can I get away stating that I was under duress when such decisions were made?

4. Now that friend has gone back on his words and is cancelling the payment that he mentioned to be on my behalf. He has also been very mean in my recorded MSN conversations with him. Is this misrepresentation? Will it help my case?

Till date, all the information that I know and received have been via MSN and emails from the 2 parties mentioned. I have not received a single document from the US courts nor any legal representatives for this case.

Am I just over-worrying or should I really be worried and preparing for a possible law suit? I am still based in Singapore and has not travelled since returning from the US last year.

 

[Michael Wechsler]

I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. My guess is that you should be thrilled that it's not happening since it doesn't sound like your ex is that stable.

Regarding the lawsuit, I don't really know about the particulars. Unless he files in small claims court - which he would not be able to do - it will cost your ex at least a few hundred dollars just to file in federal court and to serve you with a summons. I have no idea why you would even think of paying for part of the expenses your ex incurred over the wedding - just how good of a friend is this in Point 1? Can this person even be believed that they won a lawsuit against your ex, and if so, why would then advise that you pay but that they should receive their money back? Considering that you incurred the expenses of flying to the US and others as well, I would think that you would consider that as part of an offset for the wedding costs too. Your agreeing to pay isn't a big deal and can be explained in court -- if it ever even got that far which I doubt it will unless the amount in question is of significance.

I can't say what a judge might say since there are a lot of questions that remain unanswered, including what was agreed to with regard to the wedding costs. There is also the question of why the wedding didn't happen - I have a feeling that there is a great deal I don't know.

 

[Veronica1980]

Hi Law Professor,

Thank you for your reply. Yes, I am thanking God daily that it never happened.

To add on to your questions:

1. He is suing for over 100K in wedding costs, 50K for misrepresentation & punitive costs, 200K for his legal fees and private investigation costs totaling up to USD360K. This are all clearly stated in his MSN messages down to the exact dollar and cents.

2. This friend is not close to me. Like I mentioned before, he has not shown nor has ever agreed to my request of seeing any legal documents regarding the "suits" that he filed.

3. I have never wanted a wedding ceremony, but my then fiance insisted to have one at the scale of about 10K. Then this friend offered to pay as a gift to me,and blew to a proportion that I am not aware of, other than the desriptions of some purchases like the orchids. He had my then fiance sign a contract that in any case of the wedding not proceeding, he will get his money back. Again, I've not seen any documents.

4. The wedding didn't happen because I was stranded in the airport and not picked up. In my first posting, I was left alone in the airport (I did call some friends in San Francisco then, so there is alibi if needed). I then called this friend who told me to get to a hotel and get a ticket to return home asap. I even took a cab in the middle of the night to my then fiance's known address and couldn't find him. After I got home, I received emails of him stating that he is seeing another woman and that he will not marry me. (These emails have long been disposed). That's the reason why the wedding never happened.

5. The latest is that I have an email from my then fiance stating that he received payments from my "friend". I don't know what happened in the space of the last 12 hours between the 2 of them, but I am not comfortable with confronting either for more information.

Any further opinions?

Thank you so much for your earlier replies. Much appreciated.

 

[Michael Wechsler]

Veronica - Being from Singapore, let me applaud you on your remarkably superior English language writing skills - especially if it is your second language. I'm very sorry to hear about your problem.

1) The MSN Messenger numbers sound ridiculous and an attempt to scare you into submission. 200K in legal fees? Unless there is something we don't know about, that is absurd. If he paid $500 an hour we're still talking about 400 hours of attorney time at a high level?

2) I wouldn't trust this friend and wonder whether the friend is really your ex-fiancee's friend. If you can't see the legal documents then this is all a fabrication. If the documents are filed then you have to be served and receive a copy of them.

3) Again, a lack of any documentation but representation of tremendous costs. What I have seen are numerous scams like this, where alleged costs are incurred and the victim believes everything and pays being scared that it will be worse to refrain from doing so.

4) OK - so now the truth is out and what are you worrying about? A lawsuit will likely never happen. Why? If he involves you in a mess, your lawyer will subpoena all of his credit card bills and phone records. How much credibility will he have in court that you broke up the wedding and should be responsible for the costs? His phone and credit card records would show he was seeing another woman! But let's back up further - why would he spend all that money on a wedding if he's been seeing another woman? So why would I believe he's spent much at all on a wedding - and why would he leave you at the airport if he did?

5) More talk.

I can't give you specific advice on this here since I haven't seen any of the evidence. What is it that is worrying you the most? That he's threatening to sue you for money? Fine... so you'll have your day in court. From my perspective - and I'm not telling you what to do - I'd certainly think that is a better option than paying even a dime. I'd be angry about the fact that it sounds like your fiancee wasn't honest, apparently was cheating on you, and you might want tell him to get lost and tell the story to his current girlfriend - unless he wants you to tell the story about what he did to you directly. I'm just wondering if you're more concerned about visa issues...