Broke friend needing real advice & can't afford a lawyer

[Lilloth]

My friend is married. She was mentally, emotionally & sexually abused for 6 years. She never filed any charges against him because she was embarrassed.

She moved in with my husband & I & has been separated from her spouse since March 2007. She & he both agreed, with me as a witness, that they would not fight or seek out lawyers, except to ask questions/advice. He found himself a new lover shortly afterwards & she found out about their affair from online. We have printed proof of the affair.

Since then, he has dissolved his verbal contract/agreement & has a lawyer. He nor she are seeking alimony or assets but he insists that SHE pay for the court fees, divorce fees & lawyer fees. He is basing this on claims that she harrassed him online (which she hasn't) and that she's made death threats on public websites (which she hasn't). She has a very low income & cannot even afford rent. She is barely able to pay for her food, gasoline & utilities.

What can she do at this point? She sought legal advice early in 2008 & was told to wait until she was separated for 1-year & then file. And she just called today to the SC Bar Association to seek a lawyer pro-bono & they claim she doesn't qualify because there's no proof of abuse.

He has "beat her to it" & she cannot afford a lawyer nor pay the fees he's demanding.

Her court date is early December 2008 and she was just served with the summons yesterday.

 

[jacksgal]

There are women's groups out there that might provide help seek them out

 

[Lilloth]

Do you know of any?

 

[jacksgal]

Contact the courts and the women's shelters they should have answers

 

[Duranie]

He can ask for lawyers fees. It is unlikely he will get them. I hope they do not have kids? She needs to start googling some domestic violence shelters or womens groups but the fact she NEVER reported any of the abuse may backfire. She has no proof. She can represent herself pro-bono though and she can also see an attorney and ask him to pay her fees.

 

[Lilloth]

They have no children. They have cats but he gave up ownership to them in March 2007.

She's not wanting to seek anything from him, she just wants the divorce, which he obviously wants.

As far as proof, he never left a mark on her physically but emotional abuse isn't easy to prove nor is spousal rape. Her knowing how difficult it is to prove spousal rape, kept her from reporting him. She felt like she would spill her life secrets for "nothing" and come out looking like a liar. But that's in the past and can't be corrected.

Would it be good for her to bring proof of her income versuses expenses to the hearing? Any advice of how to explain to the judge that she cannot pay the fees he's demanding? Should she bring up his infidelity (with the proof) during their separation during this past several months?