Can i get sole custody of my son?

[tine1285]

I live in NY state with my 9 year old son. My sons father has recently decided he wants visitation of our son. He saw him a couple times about 5 years ago when our son was about 4 and then just stopped coming and i never heard from him until about 6 months ago when he wanted to termintate his rights because he didn't want to pay the little child support he was court ordered to pay anymore. At this time i decided to pursue a modification of the child support order. The judge denied his request to terminate his rights and granted me more child supprt. At this time he openly admitted to the judge that he didnt try to have any contact with our son. Now he wants visitation rights. I know I have little hope of him not getting any visitation rights, but I dont want this to end up like the last time where we stopped hearing from him and he stops coming and then a couple years down the road we're going through the whole thing again where he wants visitation again. Since my son was only 4 the last time he saw him and never knew him as "dad" because he dont stick around long enough for it to come up he no longer even remembers him. But now hes old enough to remember this guy so it's necessary that if he does get visitation he stick to it. Im afraid of the potential harmful effects his coming and going whenever he feels like could have on our son. I'm wondering what my best course of action is?Would it be possible for me to get both sole legal and physical custody? Or atleast sole physical with some visitation? Would his lack of involvement thus far in his life be cause enough to grant me at least sole physical custody? Or should I just leave it alone and try and work out visitation between just the 2 of us without courts like he wants to. Im not in favor of the last option whatever goes on I would like to have it court ordered so if anything were to happen and he stops coming like in the past it would be documeneted. Any advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated.

 

[army judge]

I suggest you speak with a lawyer in your county.

Yes, what you seek is possible, but not PROBABLE.

Dad will never be required to visit the child.

But, who picked this creep?

Yes, so the court won't second guess you now.

If this person was trustworthy, working our an agreement without the court MIGHT work, but its never advisable.

Its always best to have the court involved.

You might also discuss with the lawyer, what happens to the child if you were to die (or become TOO ill to care for him).

 

[tine1285]

If he ends up taking me back to court for visitation like he says is there anything i can do to fight it? my worry is something that is essentially a complete stanger to my son is suddenly spending a great deal of time with him or taking him over night or something..thats the kind of thing i would like to prevent happening if possible...i know his father has a right to visit him and as much as i dont like it or think it unfair it doesnt matter, but is it possible to limit visiatation somewhat or start out slow like supervised visitation and work up from there...to atleast give the kid a chance to meet him and get to know him. Sadly enough this was the creep that was thought highly of in my family...live and learn.

 

[army judge]

If he ends up taking me back to court for visitation like he says is there anything i can do to fight it? my worry is something that is essentially a complete stanger to my son is suddenly spending a great deal of time with him or taking him over night or something..thats the kind of thing i would like to prevent happening if possible...i know his father has a right to visit him and as much as i dont like it or think it unfair it doesnt matter, but is it possible to limit visiatation somewhat or start out slow like supervised visitation and work up from there...to atleast give the kid a chance to meet him and get to know him. Sadly enough this was the creep that was thought highly of in my family...live and learn.

You need to speak to a lawyer in your county.

If you care as deeply about your child as you profess, spare no expense in protecting the precious tyke.

Free advice solicited over the internet cheapens what you profess to care so deeply about.

That said, if this creep does wish to assert his right to visit with HIS child too, that's hard to prevent.

So, to make sure it is done correctly and the innocent child is protected, a court can arrange supervised visits initially.

Those visits are conducted under the watchful eye of social workers or state child services agents.

Sometimes psychologist are involved, and it can be expensive, but the child is precious; so the costs won't matter.

Over time, and when the professionals say so, the court will allow dad to have the kid in his care for weekends, holidays, birthdays, etc...

Again, you need to consult with an attorney in your county to fully comprehend how its done in your state.

This won't get solved on an anonymous internet forum, much like a medial condition couldn't be solved, either.