Can we leave the state???

[imbossyrobin83]

My exhusband and i have joint legal custody of our 9yo daughter. I have paramount physical custody. Visitation is to be agreed upon by both parties per divorce papers. He has made no attempt to see her or talk t her in some time now. I recently got married to someone in the military. He is takeing orders in another state next year. I ran this idea by the x and he told me that I couldnt go without his consent and he will NOT consent for us to go. Can he stop us from moveing and if so, what should I or could I do? I really cant afford a lawyer.

 

[Proserpina]

You live in one of the few states in which recent case law has decided that relocation isn't grounds to modify custody. Given that you have an open-ended visitation agreement, and that Dad hasn't seen your daughter in...X amount of time, even if Dad objects I cannot see him prevailing in court. Additionally, yours would be a military move and these are approved far more commonly than for relocations for other reasons.

The burden of proof would be on him to show why the move shouldn't be allowed.

I would like to add - for anyone else reading this - that this is somewhat unusual. The general rule is that the relocating parent must show why it's in the child's best interest. A few states have recently deviated from this.

I do think you should speak with a local attorney though to make sure you abide by State law regarding notification etc. Certainly, don't just up and move without saying anything.

 

[army judge]

If you want to do this the easy and least expensive way, I suggest you work with him on this.

He's right.

He has paternal rights, whether he exercises them or not!

He can't stop you, but he can get you in trouble if you take the child out of state.


Both of you must obey the existing custody order.

If the order describes where you are to keep the child (they all have such language), that is where the child must be kept.

You, of course, are free to go anywhere you choose.

The child must be kept within the confines of the county, within the state that has jurisdiction, or some other set geographic boundary.

You can go to court and request the order to be changed.

But, if dad objects, the child won't be allowed to go.

To do as you desire, you'll have to offer to pay ALL expenses associated with the child being sent back to visit dad. That assumes, of course, that dad gets on board with this change.

In the end, it is up to the court.

That means you'll need the assistance of an attorney.

The American Bar Assiciation tries to offer pro bono legal assistance to service member families in your position.

Google their website.

Warning: Don't take the child without going through the process described above. If you do, you could face serious criminal charges. You could also end up losing custody altogether.

 

[Proserpina]

Not all custody orders address where the child must reside (within a certain geographical area), nor do they all address the issue of relocation.

Just saying

Again though - even if Dad objects, the burden of proof in OP's state is on Dad to convince the court why the child shouldn't be allowed to relocate.

OP needs to speak with a local attorney who can guide her further.

 

[army judge]

Not all custody orders address where the child must reside (within a certain geographical area), nor do they all address the issue of relocation.

further.

True.

You just never know what the order says.




But, the message is it wouldn't be prudent to do anything without going back to Court.



Dad may not prevail, but he could prolong the process.

He could also get some concessions on travel expenses.

I don't know why people can't get along and avoid the fuss and muss.

 

[Proserpina]

Oh, if only that were the case!

Co-parenting is such a wonderful thing - and unfortunately so uncommon

 

[imbossyrobin83]

I would love it if we could get long but i dont ever see that happening with him. In my initial post i didnt really go much into detail. But we also have a 2yo son together. He was awarded joint legal and parmount of him as I have the same of our other child. He has denied me any contact with him since January. He says that since our custody papers read that "visitation is to be agreed apon by both parents" that if he doesnt "agree" that i cant see our son. Is that right? I have never denied him any contact with our daughter (whom I have). He agreed that I could move out of the state with our daughter IF i agree to sign over all parental rights to our son in return.

 

[Proserpina]

Unfortunately yes -the way that's worded, he can simply "not agree" and you're pretty much stuck. You can however go back to court and have that clarified, giving you visitation at specific times. That would be much easier to enforce.

Your ex also needs to understand that you can't "sign over" parental rights like that, unless he has remarried and his wife is willing to adopt.

Is that the case?

 

[lavawik]

My heart goes out to the two children involved. It is sad that these kids are living in two different households rather than together. I think parents need to seriously think about their childrens needs and stop putting their own needs ahead of theirs! I would eat crap for my kids if I knew that it would benifit them on a positive way! I think all that are involved need some form of counceling. How could a parent want to leave thier child behind anyway? I know I sound judgemental, but children need their parents and if you are willing and capable to give them a good life why would you not fight for them? There are many resources you can use...children advoctes or legal aid. And your husband is in the military, they have attorneys that would help you and your kids. Look at this website....www.PAYH.com they have some really interesting fact finds and it's sad that we as parents aren't doing right by our kids because we put "me" first.