DadQuestions
New Member
Brief Synopsis -
January 2003 - My ex-wife and I divorced. We lived in Los Angeles, CA. We started in court, but that did not seem to be going my way (the Judge favored young children - ages 1 and 3 - staying with mom). We went to mediation and I gave her permission to move to Las Vegas, NV and an every other weekend arrangement. We would share the driving and meet halfway.
November 2003 - I relocated to Las Vegas, NV.
August 2004 - Agreed in mediation to a 50/50 arrangement in which the girls lived with both parents alternating on a weekly basis. We mutually agreed and changed to a 2 week alternating schedule last summer.
Current Situation -
I was laid off by my employer a year ago and have been struggling to find a 'stable' position ever since. I was having no luck in Las Vegas, but was offered a position through an acquaintance back in California. After taking everything into consideration, I decided to take the job. I needed to provide for my family. I talked to my ex-wife about the custody situation and we were unable to come to a mutual agreement. We were able to agree to a TEMPORARY (notarized) agreement in which she would keep the girls for 6 weeks (until their track break came up) and then they would come to California for the 6 week track break. This maintains our 50/50 court order up until January 6, 2008.
We attended mediation 2 weeks ago and were able to come to an agreement in which I would have the girls on all of their school breaks, plus other scheduled weekends. This works out to about a 42/58 arrangement. I would pay 3/4 of the transporation costs (airfare) and she would pay 1/4. The mediator was going to draw up the paperwork for her to sign and then send mine in the mail. She has made the comment to me that she is not happy with this arrangement now and may not sign the agreement. This leaves us with having to attend court.
I feel that it is in my daughters' best interest to live in California, but I was agreeing to a 50/50 arrangement in order to avoid the 'fighting' that would be entailed in a court hearing. If we are going to end up in court, I need to decided whether to ask the judge to enfore the 42/58 arrangement or to ask for custody.
I would like to know the likelyhood of my getting full custody and permission to move them to California based on the following information:
- There was a 5 month period and a 2 month period in the last 2 years in which my (now) 8 year old resided with me full time and with her mom 2 weekends a month. These cases were based on a mutual agreement and no court order or documentation was involved.
- I know that my ex receives medicaid for her other 2 children (by 2 other fathers) and daycare assistance for all 4 children. She also has the kids on the free lunch program at the school. I assume she is receiving welfare and section 8 assistance, but do not know this for a fact.
I provide medical for my daughters. They do not need to attend daycare because my current wife is home with our 2 young children. I would be able to remove them from being a burden on the state.
- My current wife and I were the ones taking my daughter to all of her practices, her games, and school activites. My ex would randomly attend these things.
- My ex has acknowledged that my daughters are much better behaved when with us. Their attitudes and behavior are awful when they are with her. She says they do not listen and she has trouble getting them to bed on a daily basis.
- My ex's oldest daughter (12) and my oldest daughter (8) used to share a bedroom. They constantly fight and her oldest daughter threatened to kill everyone in the house, so my ex moved my daughter into share her bedroom and gave her oldest daughter her own room. (This incident is one of the reasons my daughter lived with me full time)
- Recently, my ex allowed her son's pre-school teacher (who got fired from her job), her 5 year old daughter, and her boyfriend to move in with them. She gave them my other daughter and her son's bedroom and moved them into her bedroom as well. Now, my ex, both of my daughters, and her son share a bedroom and there are 3 adults and 5 kids in the 3 bedroom house.
- She would leave the kids home alone (without a phone). She did not get a home phone until we moved and she knew that court was a possibility.
- She swears at her older daughter and is pretty physical when disciplining her. I am worried that her patience will eventually wear thin with my daughters and the discipline with trickle down to them as well.
- My wife and I have both of our families in California. When we lived in Vegas, the girls would see our family at least once a month. If they lived in California, they would be surrounded by family. My daughters have seen their Grandmother (ex's mom) MAYBE 5 times this year. Their Grandfather lives in Vegas and they do not see him very often and he has never been to any of their soccer/basketball/baseball games or school activities.
- My biggest reason is this:
4.5 years ago I gave my ex permission to move to Vegas because her mom was going to buy her a house and she said she would be better able to provide for the kids. Even with my being in Vegas for the last 4 years, she has still not been able to get things together and better provide. She had another child by another dead beat father, she no longer lives in the house her mom bought (she rents now), and she is still using the system. She had 4.5 years to prove that she can better provide and in my opinion, she has not done that. I would like the opportunity now to prove that I can better provide for my children.
I apologize for the length, I was trying to be thorough. I tried to hit the major points in my reasoning. Any and all information/advice is appreciated.
Thank You
January 2003 - My ex-wife and I divorced. We lived in Los Angeles, CA. We started in court, but that did not seem to be going my way (the Judge favored young children - ages 1 and 3 - staying with mom). We went to mediation and I gave her permission to move to Las Vegas, NV and an every other weekend arrangement. We would share the driving and meet halfway.
November 2003 - I relocated to Las Vegas, NV.
August 2004 - Agreed in mediation to a 50/50 arrangement in which the girls lived with both parents alternating on a weekly basis. We mutually agreed and changed to a 2 week alternating schedule last summer.
Current Situation -
I was laid off by my employer a year ago and have been struggling to find a 'stable' position ever since. I was having no luck in Las Vegas, but was offered a position through an acquaintance back in California. After taking everything into consideration, I decided to take the job. I needed to provide for my family. I talked to my ex-wife about the custody situation and we were unable to come to a mutual agreement. We were able to agree to a TEMPORARY (notarized) agreement in which she would keep the girls for 6 weeks (until their track break came up) and then they would come to California for the 6 week track break. This maintains our 50/50 court order up until January 6, 2008.
We attended mediation 2 weeks ago and were able to come to an agreement in which I would have the girls on all of their school breaks, plus other scheduled weekends. This works out to about a 42/58 arrangement. I would pay 3/4 of the transporation costs (airfare) and she would pay 1/4. The mediator was going to draw up the paperwork for her to sign and then send mine in the mail. She has made the comment to me that she is not happy with this arrangement now and may not sign the agreement. This leaves us with having to attend court.
I feel that it is in my daughters' best interest to live in California, but I was agreeing to a 50/50 arrangement in order to avoid the 'fighting' that would be entailed in a court hearing. If we are going to end up in court, I need to decided whether to ask the judge to enfore the 42/58 arrangement or to ask for custody.
I would like to know the likelyhood of my getting full custody and permission to move them to California based on the following information:
- There was a 5 month period and a 2 month period in the last 2 years in which my (now) 8 year old resided with me full time and with her mom 2 weekends a month. These cases were based on a mutual agreement and no court order or documentation was involved.
- I know that my ex receives medicaid for her other 2 children (by 2 other fathers) and daycare assistance for all 4 children. She also has the kids on the free lunch program at the school. I assume she is receiving welfare and section 8 assistance, but do not know this for a fact.
I provide medical for my daughters. They do not need to attend daycare because my current wife is home with our 2 young children. I would be able to remove them from being a burden on the state.
- My current wife and I were the ones taking my daughter to all of her practices, her games, and school activites. My ex would randomly attend these things.
- My ex has acknowledged that my daughters are much better behaved when with us. Their attitudes and behavior are awful when they are with her. She says they do not listen and she has trouble getting them to bed on a daily basis.
- My ex's oldest daughter (12) and my oldest daughter (8) used to share a bedroom. They constantly fight and her oldest daughter threatened to kill everyone in the house, so my ex moved my daughter into share her bedroom and gave her oldest daughter her own room. (This incident is one of the reasons my daughter lived with me full time)
- Recently, my ex allowed her son's pre-school teacher (who got fired from her job), her 5 year old daughter, and her boyfriend to move in with them. She gave them my other daughter and her son's bedroom and moved them into her bedroom as well. Now, my ex, both of my daughters, and her son share a bedroom and there are 3 adults and 5 kids in the 3 bedroom house.
- She would leave the kids home alone (without a phone). She did not get a home phone until we moved and she knew that court was a possibility.
- She swears at her older daughter and is pretty physical when disciplining her. I am worried that her patience will eventually wear thin with my daughters and the discipline with trickle down to them as well.
- My wife and I have both of our families in California. When we lived in Vegas, the girls would see our family at least once a month. If they lived in California, they would be surrounded by family. My daughters have seen their Grandmother (ex's mom) MAYBE 5 times this year. Their Grandfather lives in Vegas and they do not see him very often and he has never been to any of their soccer/basketball/baseball games or school activities.
- My biggest reason is this:
4.5 years ago I gave my ex permission to move to Vegas because her mom was going to buy her a house and she said she would be better able to provide for the kids. Even with my being in Vegas for the last 4 years, she has still not been able to get things together and better provide. She had another child by another dead beat father, she no longer lives in the house her mom bought (she rents now), and she is still using the system. She had 4.5 years to prove that she can better provide and in my opinion, she has not done that. I would like the opportunity now to prove that I can better provide for my children.
I apologize for the length, I was trying to be thorough. I tried to hit the major points in my reasoning. Any and all information/advice is appreciated.
Thank You
