Crazy child custody

[NickK]

Jurisdiction

North Carolina

Okay, so I am 38 and I have a baby boy who is 4. His mom has Custody but he still comes over every other weekend. His mother (even though she will not admit it) is mentally unstable. in my eyes she isn't fit enough to provide for the child. I know I said "in my eyes" but I'm not trying to make this my opinion.
the child dose not have a stable home. And what I mean by that is, he should be use to only going to daddy's house on every other weekend. Instead she brakes the agreement and just drops him off when ever she feels like it. Are we complaining about the extra time with him? No of course not. But if we have him for the whole month when she just checks out because she claims she can't "handle him" or he is "too loud" should we really be paying her 350$ a month for the months that she didn't even have him?? Is there anything we can do?? I know I'm talking to a bunch of lawyers about what is "fair" but this is ridiculous. Please help.

 

[mightymoose]

Seek a modification to the custody agreement to reflect what is actually happening, or just seek full custody of the child.
Your solution to this is in the family court.

 

[KatDini]

Remember, the only 'we' in family law matters are Mom and Dad. Boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancés, fianceés, stepmoms and stepdads are all non-entities in court with no legal standing.

 

[army judge]

Remember, the only 'we' in family law matters are Mom and Dad. Boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancés, fianceés, stepmoms and stepdads are all non-entities in court with no legal standing.

So true, mate, so true.
Dad isn't dad unless he and mom were married before baby arrived.
If baby arrived and the male wasn't married to mom, dad must take several affirmative steps before he legally becomes dad.

 

[ElleMD]

1. Do you have a formal court ordered agreement for custody and support?
2. Are both parties following it? Extra time with Dad is always allowed and not considered a violation.
3. Have circumstances changed since the order?
4. Is there any evidence that the mother is unstable?

 

[leslie82]

Okay, so I am 38 and I have a baby boy who is 4. His mom has Custody but he still comes over every other weekend. His mother (even though she will not admit it) is mentally unstable. in my eyes she isn't fit enough to provide for the child. I know I said "in my eyes" but I'm not trying to make this my opinion.
the child dose not have a stable home. And what I mean by that is, he should be use to only going to daddy's house on every other weekend. Instead she brakes the agreement and just drops him off when ever she feels like it. Are we complaining about the extra time with him? No of course not. But if we have him for the whole month when she just checks out because she claims she can't "handle him" or he is "too loud" should we really be paying her 350$ a month for the months that she didn't even have him?? Is there anything we can do?? I know I'm talking to a bunch of lawyers about what is "fair" but this is ridiculous. Please help.

I'm sorry are you a medical professional who can make diagnoses of mental instability? No? Ok then.

You're complaining that he gives you MORE time than she has to? Really? There are non custodial parents who would kill for that. Why should he only be "used to" going to your house every other weekend? She isn't "breaking" the visitation agreement if she gives you more time. If she withholds him from you on your time THAT is breaking the order. It sure sounds like you're complaining about extra time.

You pay child support until you go to court and file to modify child support. If she's leaving him with you more, then go modify the custody order.

No you aren't talking to a bunch of lawyers either (read the disclaimer at the bottom).

So you're more worried about the child support than you are your son...nice. I think you need to read about what child support is used for. I feel bad for your child honestly.

 

[mightymoose]

Although more time with the child is a good thing, dropping the child off unexpectedly and for an unknown duration can cause many problems for the non-custodial parent, including the extra expense of child care, interference with work schedules, etc.
Not adhering to the plan is disruptive.