Twenty3toysoldiers
New Member
- Jurisdiction
- Ontario
7 years ago each of my family members participated in harrassing me when I confronted them for their bullying behaviour. They blamed my Partner at the time for "putting ideas in my head" and being a "bug in my ear" and that things didn't happen the way I remember it happening. They insisted that I speak with them alone and and tin person and that they would no longer communicate in writing. I stood my ground and refused to meet them in person. They each took turns calling and sending harrassing text messages - hundreds of messages flooded my phone for days. They showed up my place of work (I live 5 hours away) they called sometimes 17 times in a row and they name called/threatened. For my own self preservation and that of my partner I cut off all contact.
Two years ago my Partner and I had our first child and a few of my family members reached out to visit our baby. Things seemed better though there was questions as to why I had not responding to texts/phone calls from other family members.
2 years have since passed and I am still not in contact with certain family members and very minimal contact with a few family members. Everything was peaceful and quite and I have been enjoying watching my toddler grow and learn. Life felt much more relaxed without my adult siblings and extended family members interfering in my life.
I assumed that we had all moved on and that I could finally breath again and enjoy raising my child with the occasional call and Birthday/Christmas card from a few family members.
Until some strange type of events began to unfold. This Christmas only 1 family member send a Christmas card and the other family members that I had been in contact with ignored my 2 year olds Birthday. I kind of shrugged and let it go as I knew that the family members that I had contact with were still upset about the family members that I had completely cut out of my life.
Then a few months ago out of the blue my Ex Husband reached out to say "HI!!!" via Facebook Messenger.
I was unsure why they were suddenly contacting me and ignored the messages. The messages began to get more urgent. Why wasn't I answering him? He just wanted to be friends.
That then turned to strange messages about how he regrets not fighting for us and that I am his "kryptonite". I continued to ignore.
Everyday he wrote a message. And everyday it began to get more and more urgent. He then began to threaten to show up at my work, my home and to contact family members if I did not reply. He said "I contacted your sister and she says she's not speaking with you....? " Those messages then turned to "concern for my well being" to messages about his daily life and photographs of himself with a watch that I was somehow supposed to remember. "Remember this?" He would write. Silence.
A few days would go by. I would sigh with relief and assume it was done. What was his end game? I clearly wasn't replying so wouldn't he just eventually stop? Then a new message was sent "Here's the thing. We WILL cross paths. I will show up at your work again like I did years ago. They said you were on break....etc. etc. I froze.
That's when my partner began to grow concerned for our safety and for the safety of our 2 year old. We continued to monitor the messages. Where did I work now? "Please don't make me message your mother" he wrote. " OH!!!!!" he shouted out in one text (naming the town where I work) I froze again. Next message. "I am worried about you _. Please message me back. Is this because of your partner that you're not messaging me back?" He began to send pictures again.
Then the messages from him to my partner began. " Myself and ____ my family have been looking for her. You are the link. Please have her message me...etc.
Thenpre.urgent messages to me " I
need you in my life. I am sorry that I didn't right for us." Then "I am sorry if I am bothering you but I have to do this." Then the next day " I am a very determined person. If you recall. I can either show up at your place or at your work. Your call ".
Did he know where I lived? Shaking I immediately contacted the police, kicking myself for not having contacted them sooner. The Police contacted and issued him a caution not to contact myself or any friends or family members. He tried to convince the police that he was worried about me. And here is the most disturbing part. He told the Police officer that he had been in contact with my mom and all of my sisters for the past few months and they had regular chats on the phone and that they were all worried about me and concerned for my safety in my relationship.
The Police suggested that I contact my family members to tell them that a Caution had been issued and that they were to report any future contact with this person to the police.
I wrote a very professional statement to my family of what had occured (no details) and told them if this Individual were to contact them again that they were to report it to the Police.
To make an extremely long and difficult story short - this letter was not received well and the floodgates were now open. Accusations, denial, anger, not disclosing what was said and then the final "I will report it to the police then that I spoke with her I (again not llinformijg alsome as what information was relayed and whether or not they had given him my address) also I am going to request a Wellness check for you from the Police as I am concerned about your mental health and your overall well-being.
I am now at a loss as to what to do. I have signed up to be connected with a Lawyer in my Region but with everything that is happening in the world I would assume that the need is many and that the waitlist is long. My question is, apart from potentially filing Criminal harrassment charges against my Ex Husband (If I can at this point?) so as to protect myself, my partner and my child, what legal actions can I pursue with the family members who have enabled this Stalker (potentially giving him my address which no one will confirm or deny)
Apologies for any unnecessary details. I am still in shock and overwhelmed with everything that has happened. Any advise would be greatly appreciated or even I could be directed to any resources/articles/ legal info. I am in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I am LGBTQ and my family is extremely homophobic. I am worried now for my safety as well as the safety of my child and Partner. Please advise.
Two years ago my Partner and I had our first child and a few of my family members reached out to visit our baby. Things seemed better though there was questions as to why I had not responding to texts/phone calls from other family members.
2 years have since passed and I am still not in contact with certain family members and very minimal contact with a few family members. Everything was peaceful and quite and I have been enjoying watching my toddler grow and learn. Life felt much more relaxed without my adult siblings and extended family members interfering in my life.
I assumed that we had all moved on and that I could finally breath again and enjoy raising my child with the occasional call and Birthday/Christmas card from a few family members.
Until some strange type of events began to unfold. This Christmas only 1 family member send a Christmas card and the other family members that I had been in contact with ignored my 2 year olds Birthday. I kind of shrugged and let it go as I knew that the family members that I had contact with were still upset about the family members that I had completely cut out of my life.
Then a few months ago out of the blue my Ex Husband reached out to say "HI!!!" via Facebook Messenger.
I was unsure why they were suddenly contacting me and ignored the messages. The messages began to get more urgent. Why wasn't I answering him? He just wanted to be friends.
That then turned to strange messages about how he regrets not fighting for us and that I am his "kryptonite". I continued to ignore.
Everyday he wrote a message. And everyday it began to get more and more urgent. He then began to threaten to show up at my work, my home and to contact family members if I did not reply. He said "I contacted your sister and she says she's not speaking with you....? " Those messages then turned to "concern for my well being" to messages about his daily life and photographs of himself with a watch that I was somehow supposed to remember. "Remember this?" He would write. Silence.
A few days would go by. I would sigh with relief and assume it was done. What was his end game? I clearly wasn't replying so wouldn't he just eventually stop? Then a new message was sent "Here's the thing. We WILL cross paths. I will show up at your work again like I did years ago. They said you were on break....etc. etc. I froze.
That's when my partner began to grow concerned for our safety and for the safety of our 2 year old. We continued to monitor the messages. Where did I work now? "Please don't make me message your mother" he wrote. " OH!!!!!" he shouted out in one text (naming the town where I work) I froze again. Next message. "I am worried about you _. Please message me back. Is this because of your partner that you're not messaging me back?" He began to send pictures again.
Then the messages from him to my partner began. " Myself and ____ my family have been looking for her. You are the link. Please have her message me...etc.
Thenpre.urgent messages to me " I
need you in my life. I am sorry that I didn't right for us." Then "I am sorry if I am bothering you but I have to do this." Then the next day " I am a very determined person. If you recall. I can either show up at your place or at your work. Your call ".
Did he know where I lived? Shaking I immediately contacted the police, kicking myself for not having contacted them sooner. The Police contacted and issued him a caution not to contact myself or any friends or family members. He tried to convince the police that he was worried about me. And here is the most disturbing part. He told the Police officer that he had been in contact with my mom and all of my sisters for the past few months and they had regular chats on the phone and that they were all worried about me and concerned for my safety in my relationship.
The Police suggested that I contact my family members to tell them that a Caution had been issued and that they were to report any future contact with this person to the police.
I wrote a very professional statement to my family of what had occured (no details) and told them if this Individual were to contact them again that they were to report it to the Police.
To make an extremely long and difficult story short - this letter was not received well and the floodgates were now open. Accusations, denial, anger, not disclosing what was said and then the final "I will report it to the police then that I spoke with her I (again not llinformijg alsome as what information was relayed and whether or not they had given him my address) also I am going to request a Wellness check for you from the Police as I am concerned about your mental health and your overall well-being.
I am now at a loss as to what to do. I have signed up to be connected with a Lawyer in my Region but with everything that is happening in the world I would assume that the need is many and that the waitlist is long. My question is, apart from potentially filing Criminal harrassment charges against my Ex Husband (If I can at this point?) so as to protect myself, my partner and my child, what legal actions can I pursue with the family members who have enabled this Stalker (potentially giving him my address which no one will confirm or deny)
Apologies for any unnecessary details. I am still in shock and overwhelmed with everything that has happened. Any advise would be greatly appreciated or even I could be directed to any resources/articles/ legal info. I am in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I am LGBTQ and my family is extremely homophobic. I am worried now for my safety as well as the safety of my child and Partner. Please advise.
