Cross-state divorce; Texas/Arizona

[SyberRacier]

I am in the U.S. Army, and in 2008 my wife and I mutually agreed to separate while I was deployed in Iraq. She decided to take the children and return to her family in California before I returned to the U.S. As much as the thought of not seeing my children upon my arrival to the U.S. after so long pained me, I agreed with her decision thinking it would be beneficial to the children, they would be able to enroll in school quickly in their new home in CA and I thought it would be easier that they left before I returned so it wouldn't be so hard for them to leave after I returned from the deployment. So, my wife moves with the children, I return to the U.S. We mutually agree that I would pay monthly support, which I have done without fail since we split since she has never worked and has no income of her own to support herself or the kids. I have been the sole means of support for all of them, which I have no problems with since they are my children and she is legally my wife. She claims physical ailments (there is no legal disability) and that "the children need their mother at home," (the children are 12 & 11 and are in school full-time.) Although divorce has been on the table since the split, neither of us has had the money to hire attorneys. She knew from the beginning there would be no reconciling. Fast forward to the present date: I now have the funds to hire and retain a qualified divorce attorney. Currently, I am now stationed in Texas, a change in duty station made at my request in order to be closer to the children when they were in CA, though my wife has since moved the children to Arizona.
My questions:
Do I retain a divorce attorney in Texas or Arizona? Where do I file? Are there attorneys that have more experience working with soldiers, divorce and custody? Since there is no order for support, but I have faithfully, without fail, continued to be the sole means of support for them- What are my chances if I chose to file for custody? Both children have expressed an interest in living with me full time. Can I request a lawyer to represent the children's wishes? She clearly does not have the funds to hire her own lawyer, will this delay the judgement of divorce when I file?

Despite her infidelity during my deployment, I bear no hard-feelings toward my wife, it just didn't work out. I want to make sure my rights, and those of my children are protected.
Thanks for any advice.

 

[Proserpina]

There are a couple of things going against you in terms of you wanting to be primary custodial parent.

1. Mom certainly has status quo on her side as their primary caregiver.

2. You're essentially wishing to take the children and relocate out of state.

3. You're still active military versus Mom being a SAHM. If you're deployable, your chances are even lower.

You would have to prove to the court why relocating - changing schools etc., all of that - would be in their best interest. At 11 & 12 their wishes may be heard but - as a practical matter - may not hold much (if any) weight. You can absolutely request that a GAL (guardian ad litem) be appointed who will make a recommendation after investigating the situation.

When did they all move to Arizona?

 

[SyberRacier]

Thank you, that's what I was thinking as well. I figured due to my status as deployable, that custody is not likely. I don't want to cause any harm to the girls by any means, I was just trying to get some answers especially since they've both recently stated they want to live with me in Texas. They moved to Arizona in Summer of 2009. They were living with family in northern Ca., but mom decided to move them to her mother's house during the summer as she wasn't getting along with her sister with whom they were living. She moved them to her mother's house, (where 9 people shared a two bedroom house, but that's neither here nor there) then decided it was too crowded and found her own place where she shared with another sister and her children. What concerns me is that she has disclosed sexual abuse by her step-father while she was a child and teenager, but she chose to have our girls live in the same house at this man. The girls told me their mom told them they weren't allowed to be left alone with their grandfather, but she didn't say why. This was brought to my attention during my second deployment, so I felt I didn't have any cause to make a hotline report as I wasn't there to assist. I talked to my wife about this, expressed my discomfort and fears, but she assured me that she was there to protect them. I wondered if this was something I should bring up to my lawyer? Although now she is taking adequate measures to protect them as she has moved them out of that house.

 

[army judge]

Speak with your attorney.
He or she will inquire as to all of these and other matters.
You'll know how to proceed after speaking with the attorney.

You also need to know that she could end up getting HALF of your retirement one day!

Or,you might be able to offer her a buyout. Speak with a lawyer that was a JAG or understands military pensions and divorces!