Hello there.. First I just want to thank you for having me here and I'm so happy to have found you all. I don't know where to start because this is an old case. 
Ok first I should say that I realize that there may be absolutely nothing that I can do but you just don't know until you find out. I do plan on talking to a lawyer in my hometown about it when I go up there next week.
My daughter was taken away from me years ago. She is an adult now. 22 years. So as far as undoing termination that is out, and there's a family dynamic now I would never touch. However, I have discovered in the recent years and even more recently that my daughter is deeply destroyed by this situation. I mean I thought I was, but it's really more horrifying when you see straight up your child is. Crushing.. Just crushing. Of course she pretty well let me know the other day she does hate me like all get out. We have seen each other on and off, mostly off over the years because her adoptive parents, my ex in-laws (surprise, surprise) kept that to a pretty nasty minimum. Surprise, surprise. The whole reason this happened in the first place, I'm not dumb. I married their son, yes. He turned out to be a bigtime druggy, violent, thief, abusive, you name it.. The typical movie of the week thing. The thing is I had no support system of my own. My Dad had raised me and he had died a few years ago. I had a Grandmother, have rather, she's still alive.. who was just as nasty if not worse then the rest of them. Anyway, let me get on with it. Sorry to be winded. I should have went to a shelter I know, I know. But instead I let them keep my daughter after the 2nd time he tried kill me while she was there. She was a baby still. I'm sure I don't have to tell you I was broke as everything by the time I decided that was over. I DID supply her formula, food and clothing while she stayed there and I did visit. I trusted them as family. Idiot me. But I can't go back. Ok so when I decided to get divorced I went over to get her and they called their volunteer deputy friend who had a gun. I was like, "What are you going to do shoot me?" Gee whiz. I left. I was really dumbstruck. My husband said they were going to take her away from me or else they'd never see her again. Really?I couldn't believe it. I gave them credit for thinking me better than that. My own parents had divorced. I had a heart. I'd never do any such thing, although I'd want my ex-husband supervised.. By them would have been fine. They served me with papers. I went to legal aid with my broke self. They filed an answer however said they could help me no further. I had a court date in like 30 days. I went to a lawyer. I could in no way afford the fee. My Grandmother who has always prided herself for being better than everyone else because she has money wouldn't help me, saying I didn't need my daughter because I had a cat, or because I smoked, or because I had a job and who would watch her, or vice versa, and that there was no way they could adopt her at all without my signing something.. Custody maybe, but no termination. Yea I gave up. All the "experts" around me told me if I dared walk into court without a lawyer I'd be crushed like a roach so I better not go without a lawyer. That was my fatal mistake I know. But I DID go to the first hearing. Where a home study, etc. was ordered. I was living with a friend. No one ever contacted me, or did a home study. The next thing I know the court date happened and she was no longer mine. Over the years it's been anguish. I have managed to get on with life and make it a good life in spite of it.
In 2001 my daughter's aunt brought her over to see me. (They had moved away from the area after they adopted her.) After seeing her I decided to call an attorney and see if he could look into the adoption to see if somewhere my name had been forged. He tried to look into it but came back and told me that it was sealed and trying to get it unsealed would probably prove futile. However, it slipped my mind to tell him about the failed home study.
I realize it may be too late, but I do wonder if there is ANY kind of recourse to this whatsoever. Anything.. Justice for my daughters anguish. Justice for mine.. Damages. My life has been ruined. My daughter had identity issues. I do too really. She is angry. She is not well. Of course she blames me. Her Grandfather is a very angry bitter old man. Always was. I dreaded him to ever raise her. Let me just tell you how weird these people are. The Grandmother did come by where I was living when I'd separated and asked me to sign papers to which of course I said no and she said, "But we'll leave her to you in our will should something happen to us." Like she was a piece of furniture. I have always, always been sickened by that remark.
My daughter thinks I abandoned her and to top it of they tell her I didn't do this or that all this time. How could I, they took those rights away?! I will say though I've never missed a birthday or holiday with gifts and cards although I did find out on occasions my things didn't reach the intended party. Well huh... I do hope someday she will understand my hands were tied most of her life after that. I cannot stand that she is in so much pain. I thought mine was a bad thing you know but to know she has suffered terribly too just really tears me up and it's really difficult to live with. She lives in another town now and we were seein each other a few times but now she has said to leave her alone forever and cussed me out. About the 3rd time I've been cussed out now. She said it was too late that I never came to see her before, although I did the few times I was allowed out to the compound I call it, where they stared at me and questioned me and I couldn't visit with her and I was not allowed to ever take her with me. It was horrible. Awww man that she hates me is crushingly painful. I try to remember it's not her. It's them. But it's awful no less. I wish there was justice for us. I just want this knife out of my back and I want to put it in front of me in their face. If I could sue the whole family including my Grandmother for the wicked games with our hearts and/or the others for their failures in the system I will do it. I have no qualms about doing it and I have the means to do it now. I can wish and hope. It's been such a tragedy.
Sorry so long. Thank you for reading.
Ok first I should say that I realize that there may be absolutely nothing that I can do but you just don't know until you find out. I do plan on talking to a lawyer in my hometown about it when I go up there next week.My daughter was taken away from me years ago. She is an adult now. 22 years. So as far as undoing termination that is out, and there's a family dynamic now I would never touch. However, I have discovered in the recent years and even more recently that my daughter is deeply destroyed by this situation. I mean I thought I was, but it's really more horrifying when you see straight up your child is. Crushing.. Just crushing. Of course she pretty well let me know the other day she does hate me like all get out. We have seen each other on and off, mostly off over the years because her adoptive parents, my ex in-laws (surprise, surprise) kept that to a pretty nasty minimum. Surprise, surprise. The whole reason this happened in the first place, I'm not dumb. I married their son, yes. He turned out to be a bigtime druggy, violent, thief, abusive, you name it.. The typical movie of the week thing. The thing is I had no support system of my own. My Dad had raised me and he had died a few years ago. I had a Grandmother, have rather, she's still alive.. who was just as nasty if not worse then the rest of them. Anyway, let me get on with it. Sorry to be winded. I should have went to a shelter I know, I know. But instead I let them keep my daughter after the 2nd time he tried kill me while she was there. She was a baby still. I'm sure I don't have to tell you I was broke as everything by the time I decided that was over. I DID supply her formula, food and clothing while she stayed there and I did visit. I trusted them as family. Idiot me. But I can't go back. Ok so when I decided to get divorced I went over to get her and they called their volunteer deputy friend who had a gun. I was like, "What are you going to do shoot me?" Gee whiz. I left. I was really dumbstruck. My husband said they were going to take her away from me or else they'd never see her again. Really?I couldn't believe it. I gave them credit for thinking me better than that. My own parents had divorced. I had a heart. I'd never do any such thing, although I'd want my ex-husband supervised.. By them would have been fine. They served me with papers. I went to legal aid with my broke self. They filed an answer however said they could help me no further. I had a court date in like 30 days. I went to a lawyer. I could in no way afford the fee. My Grandmother who has always prided herself for being better than everyone else because she has money wouldn't help me, saying I didn't need my daughter because I had a cat, or because I smoked, or because I had a job and who would watch her, or vice versa, and that there was no way they could adopt her at all without my signing something.. Custody maybe, but no termination. Yea I gave up. All the "experts" around me told me if I dared walk into court without a lawyer I'd be crushed like a roach so I better not go without a lawyer. That was my fatal mistake I know. But I DID go to the first hearing. Where a home study, etc. was ordered. I was living with a friend. No one ever contacted me, or did a home study. The next thing I know the court date happened and she was no longer mine. Over the years it's been anguish. I have managed to get on with life and make it a good life in spite of it.
In 2001 my daughter's aunt brought her over to see me. (They had moved away from the area after they adopted her.) After seeing her I decided to call an attorney and see if he could look into the adoption to see if somewhere my name had been forged. He tried to look into it but came back and told me that it was sealed and trying to get it unsealed would probably prove futile. However, it slipped my mind to tell him about the failed home study.
I realize it may be too late, but I do wonder if there is ANY kind of recourse to this whatsoever. Anything.. Justice for my daughters anguish. Justice for mine.. Damages. My life has been ruined. My daughter had identity issues. I do too really. She is angry. She is not well. Of course she blames me. Her Grandfather is a very angry bitter old man. Always was. I dreaded him to ever raise her. Let me just tell you how weird these people are. The Grandmother did come by where I was living when I'd separated and asked me to sign papers to which of course I said no and she said, "But we'll leave her to you in our will should something happen to us." Like she was a piece of furniture. I have always, always been sickened by that remark.
My daughter thinks I abandoned her and to top it of they tell her I didn't do this or that all this time. How could I, they took those rights away?! I will say though I've never missed a birthday or holiday with gifts and cards although I did find out on occasions my things didn't reach the intended party. Well huh... I do hope someday she will understand my hands were tied most of her life after that. I cannot stand that she is in so much pain. I thought mine was a bad thing you know but to know she has suffered terribly too just really tears me up and it's really difficult to live with. She lives in another town now and we were seein each other a few times but now she has said to leave her alone forever and cussed me out. About the 3rd time I've been cussed out now. She said it was too late that I never came to see her before, although I did the few times I was allowed out to the compound I call it, where they stared at me and questioned me and I couldn't visit with her and I was not allowed to ever take her with me. It was horrible. Awww man that she hates me is crushingly painful. I try to remember it's not her. It's them. But it's awful no less. I wish there was justice for us. I just want this knife out of my back and I want to put it in front of me in their face. If I could sue the whole family including my Grandmother for the wicked games with our hearts and/or the others for their failures in the system I will do it. I have no qualms about doing it and I have the means to do it now. I can wish and hope. It's been such a tragedy.
Sorry so long. Thank you for reading.
