anxiousmom
New Member
I am Mom. Dad and I were never married and I left when our daughter was about 4 months old. I left after a domestic violence training left me well aware of the situation in which I and our child were and were heading toward. All abuse was verbal, to that point, and controlling behaviors, such as the classic suicide and taking the child threats, and I did not want to chance putting our daughter in the middle of what could have quickly and easily escalated to physical abuse.
Our child is Dad's second child. That mother extremely rarely communicates directly with Dad, if ever. She is also unaware that Dad had planned for a friend of his to shoot and kill her so he could gain custody without being held responsible for her death. Fortunately for his plan, the person he was planning on using passed before it could be completed, if it ever were to be. He is highly unpredictable.
He has limited visitation with both children, more with our child, his younger child. Our child is 3. Our child spends about 35 hours per two weeks with Dad and the remaining time with Mom. This includes one over night visitation period for Dad.
Our last court date only made it through Mom's testimony, so we're not due back, again, for a day certain hearing for another month and a half. We had a back up date, but the judge was unavailable, which considering recent events, was probably for the best, however, the recent events are what caused a large issue to date.
Father has been known to cause issues with his other child's daycare. We used to use a no-contact exchange program that is no longer in service. Father refuses to pick up our child from anywhere Mom can provide, except from Mom if Mom is alone. Mom was able to get her neighbor to do 3 of 4 exchanges, but the neighbor cannot do the 4th one, so Mom got a daycare provider to agree. Dad has been unable to provide a definite place for them to occur, as his babysitter is not always available. Dad wants Mom to extend the visitation and drop the child off before work and pick up the child after work alone at Dad's house. Dad has caused issues in the past doing exchanges with Mom, including discussing adult and court matters in front of the child. There is a current order about communication that says ALL communication between the parties must be about the child because, no matter written or verbal, Dad cannot keep communication solely about the child.
Dad has harassed a local developmental agency, when our child was younger, for a month, threatening their jobs. Dad has harassed his other child's daycare repeatedly and used a social media to not only publicly defame that day care, but to also deliver veiled threats toward Mom about sneaking the child somewhere prohibited in our court order, among other things. Dad has created issues at Mom's job by calling numerous times trying to get Mom's personnel information, as well as trying to get a supervisor at Mom's job fired (Dad solicited information about the rumor mill from this person, got the information, then told her how DARE she give out that information, as it was confidential). He has also used the social media to post things directed at Mom using the supervisor's first and last name, position, AND location of work. He has also at least stated that he was either calling and/or going to Mom's old employment from about 10 years ago, trying to get personnel information.
The latest occurrence happened after the no-contact exchange program we used closed. Mom found a day care for Dad to drop off our child and Dad made a scene the very first time we used the provider, f-bombed off the porch, then got into the car with his own mother, drove around the block, and stalked the day care. He then filed at least 5-6 frivolous violations on the provider. The state supervisor came the next day, investigated the claims, took photos, and spoke with the provider about the incident. He can no longer go back there because they feel he is unsafe to be there. Mom is having issues, now, finding a provider who (can't blame them) will take the child for the exchange because they don't want that liability.
So, now we have Dad, who was fired from his job because of one of these types of episodes, without work for over a year. Mom may be able to go from part time to full time soon, which would most definitely better the lives of the child and Mom, but due to the issues, can't find a daycare to do the during-work-time exchanges.
Any help would be appreciated.
Our child is Dad's second child. That mother extremely rarely communicates directly with Dad, if ever. She is also unaware that Dad had planned for a friend of his to shoot and kill her so he could gain custody without being held responsible for her death. Fortunately for his plan, the person he was planning on using passed before it could be completed, if it ever were to be. He is highly unpredictable.
He has limited visitation with both children, more with our child, his younger child. Our child is 3. Our child spends about 35 hours per two weeks with Dad and the remaining time with Mom. This includes one over night visitation period for Dad.
Our last court date only made it through Mom's testimony, so we're not due back, again, for a day certain hearing for another month and a half. We had a back up date, but the judge was unavailable, which considering recent events, was probably for the best, however, the recent events are what caused a large issue to date.
Father has been known to cause issues with his other child's daycare. We used to use a no-contact exchange program that is no longer in service. Father refuses to pick up our child from anywhere Mom can provide, except from Mom if Mom is alone. Mom was able to get her neighbor to do 3 of 4 exchanges, but the neighbor cannot do the 4th one, so Mom got a daycare provider to agree. Dad has been unable to provide a definite place for them to occur, as his babysitter is not always available. Dad wants Mom to extend the visitation and drop the child off before work and pick up the child after work alone at Dad's house. Dad has caused issues in the past doing exchanges with Mom, including discussing adult and court matters in front of the child. There is a current order about communication that says ALL communication between the parties must be about the child because, no matter written or verbal, Dad cannot keep communication solely about the child.
Dad has harassed a local developmental agency, when our child was younger, for a month, threatening their jobs. Dad has harassed his other child's daycare repeatedly and used a social media to not only publicly defame that day care, but to also deliver veiled threats toward Mom about sneaking the child somewhere prohibited in our court order, among other things. Dad has created issues at Mom's job by calling numerous times trying to get Mom's personnel information, as well as trying to get a supervisor at Mom's job fired (Dad solicited information about the rumor mill from this person, got the information, then told her how DARE she give out that information, as it was confidential). He has also used the social media to post things directed at Mom using the supervisor's first and last name, position, AND location of work. He has also at least stated that he was either calling and/or going to Mom's old employment from about 10 years ago, trying to get personnel information.
The latest occurrence happened after the no-contact exchange program we used closed. Mom found a day care for Dad to drop off our child and Dad made a scene the very first time we used the provider, f-bombed off the porch, then got into the car with his own mother, drove around the block, and stalked the day care. He then filed at least 5-6 frivolous violations on the provider. The state supervisor came the next day, investigated the claims, took photos, and spoke with the provider about the incident. He can no longer go back there because they feel he is unsafe to be there. Mom is having issues, now, finding a provider who (can't blame them) will take the child for the exchange because they don't want that liability.
So, now we have Dad, who was fired from his job because of one of these types of episodes, without work for over a year. Mom may be able to go from part time to full time soon, which would most definitely better the lives of the child and Mom, but due to the issues, can't find a daycare to do the during-work-time exchanges.
Any help would be appreciated.
