Daughter moved out of in-laws

[jana_4982]

Our daughter recently moved out of her in-laws home. She is temporarily staying with a family friend. She has two small children ages 2 & 3. There are no legal separation, divorce or child custody papers filed, yet. She and her husband currently "share" the children...she works days and her husband works nights. She is "homeless" and has no family in Colorado. We relocated to Hawaii after the death of our oldest daughter. She is working part-time, but has no emotional or financial help. Reason for her moving out is that she was no longer welcomed there. In-laws and husband emotionally drained her. She would cry herself to sleep at night. She believes the marriage is unsalvageable.

Upon her leaving the household, her husband purchased a gun and "showed" it to her saying that he was going to use it on himself. On another occasion, he "stormed' through the family friends' home without permission demanding to see her while she and the children slept. Drives by the house to see if she is home, continually calls her and if she doesn't pick up the phone, he gets mad, irrational and very unpredictable. We already lost one daughter to violence!

Her husband says he wants to share custody, but she cannot possibly afford to live there. She also put college on hold.

(We believe her husband and in-laws are using emotional blackmail on our daughter. Threatening to take away the children from her if she doesn't return with them after the holiday season). We are very worried. Please advise what steps to take.

 

[CdwJava]

She should seek the advice of a divorce attorney and file for legal separation. If she has reason to fear for her safety, she should also seek a restraining order.

It might not be a good idea to take the kids away from the jurisdiction until a court approves it because she could be accused of child stealing (or whatever the law says in her state about a parent preventing access to another parent).

 

[Proserpina]

Her husband is irate and angry...but not necessarily representing a threat. IF she feels threatened she should file for a restraining order.

Where are the kids? Did she take them or leave them with Dad?

And what is she wanting to do? Relocate the kids to Hawaii?

 

[jana_4982]

She and the children are just coming for a visit during Christmas. She says she doesn't feel he is a threat to them (wouldn't harm them). She would like to relocate here, but cannot afford to stay there to support herself and children. Her living arrangements with family friend is temporary. The children do spend equal amount of time with both parents, because of work schedule.

 

[jana_4982]

Thank you for the advice. That will be helpful. She wouldn't be able to file for a legal separation here while visiting?

 

[Proserpina]

I cannot see the court approving a relocation if both parents are spending equal time with the kids (unless Dad agrees).

She will need to file in her home state since she is not a resident of Hawaii.

 

[bluemann33]

relocating is going to be a big problem for her. Unless there is a very good reason the dad is unfit parent then most judges are not going to allow her to move the children away from him. Good luck.

 

[jana_4982]

Thank you for your advice!