I'm not quite sure how to even exlain any of this, so I apologize before hand.
Any help, advise on where to look or anything would be of much help and greatly appreaciated, I have no idea what to do.
I'm 21 years of age, I have 4 siblings. I've lived with my dad about a year now, me and my dad pay for the place we rent. One of my brothers (18) just moved in recently with us, he is still attending high school. My older sister (23) moved away from mum back in early 2006 and got married she lives in the same town as our mum along with our other two silblings (14 and 10). Me, my dad and brother live 45 minutes away in another place. My dad and mum have been seperated for over 5 years. Dad had filed for divorce some 4 years ago, waiting and waiting, then was recently told that the master was the one they appeared before didn't have authorization to do so. So there was no divorce. Dad and mum have joint custody with mum as the sole caregiver and dad has 2 hours every second weekend with a supervisor of her choice as stated by court orders that are about 3-4 years old and never renewed or any thing. Though dad hasn't been to see them since before I even moved out in late 2006, Due to how she would send us out on our visits like loaded guns against our father telling us about terrible things he did and how to treat him, taking video cameras and documnting everything. It was basically just her using us to get back at him for things she thinks he did to her. Like there never being enough money for her to spend on her gambling and toys, or him never being home becase he was at work trying to make more money.
I need to know if there is any thing I can do to help my dad, he has recently recieved papers from family maintenance saying that they have froze his bank accounts and demand that he tell his employer to send practically half his paycheck to them to pay for support payments and arrears for children who he never sees and a child who is no longer in our mothers care. Dad's been trying to get sole custody of the two youngest who are still in her care but because of all the things she's doing he doesn't have enough and he can't get legal aid because he 'makes too much'.
My mother has lied and manipulated her own children, all of them while they were still in her care, to make our father look and seem unsuitible as a parent and that the children didn't want anything to do with him. She's made it look like she is the victim and that she is protecting the children. We were all afraid of her and didn't want her to get mad and start yelling again, we had to live with her, we did what we had to kepps things at home quiet, which usually was just shut up, stay out of the way and do as she says when she wants you to do something. Our mother is both mentally and emotionally abusive and she does it in such a way you really just think that your just the one who's causing the problems or your the one at fault. Myself, my sister and brother suffer from depression and trauma from our upbringing in her care and we're worried for our two younger siblings. Not to mention what my dad has and is still goin through...
This has been going on for so long and I just want it to stop my dad is so stressed out and hurt beyond belief, every time I think about the things she did to him, locking him out in the cold, making him work so hard, taking every penny he made and demanding more, making him think his children hate him, getting us kids to treat him so bad because we didn't know better, making him take the blame for every thing and putting up with her for us.
Now that I do know better it hurts me so much, even more so that he can still forgive us and she still harrasses him and bombards him with rediculous demands and threats while invading his social life and bothering his friends so that he argues with them. He's starting to drink more because of it all. She agrivates situations so that you get frustrated and end up looking like the bad person.
I know that between myself, my 18 yr old brother and our 23 yr old sister, we have enough to make it stop. We just don't know what to do with everything we know. We dont' know where to start.
I hope that it made enough sense to get some help on it.
Any help, advise on where to look or anything would be of much help and greatly appreaciated, I have no idea what to do.
I'm 21 years of age, I have 4 siblings. I've lived with my dad about a year now, me and my dad pay for the place we rent. One of my brothers (18) just moved in recently with us, he is still attending high school. My older sister (23) moved away from mum back in early 2006 and got married she lives in the same town as our mum along with our other two silblings (14 and 10). Me, my dad and brother live 45 minutes away in another place. My dad and mum have been seperated for over 5 years. Dad had filed for divorce some 4 years ago, waiting and waiting, then was recently told that the master was the one they appeared before didn't have authorization to do so. So there was no divorce. Dad and mum have joint custody with mum as the sole caregiver and dad has 2 hours every second weekend with a supervisor of her choice as stated by court orders that are about 3-4 years old and never renewed or any thing. Though dad hasn't been to see them since before I even moved out in late 2006, Due to how she would send us out on our visits like loaded guns against our father telling us about terrible things he did and how to treat him, taking video cameras and documnting everything. It was basically just her using us to get back at him for things she thinks he did to her. Like there never being enough money for her to spend on her gambling and toys, or him never being home becase he was at work trying to make more money.
I need to know if there is any thing I can do to help my dad, he has recently recieved papers from family maintenance saying that they have froze his bank accounts and demand that he tell his employer to send practically half his paycheck to them to pay for support payments and arrears for children who he never sees and a child who is no longer in our mothers care. Dad's been trying to get sole custody of the two youngest who are still in her care but because of all the things she's doing he doesn't have enough and he can't get legal aid because he 'makes too much'.
My mother has lied and manipulated her own children, all of them while they were still in her care, to make our father look and seem unsuitible as a parent and that the children didn't want anything to do with him. She's made it look like she is the victim and that she is protecting the children. We were all afraid of her and didn't want her to get mad and start yelling again, we had to live with her, we did what we had to kepps things at home quiet, which usually was just shut up, stay out of the way and do as she says when she wants you to do something. Our mother is both mentally and emotionally abusive and she does it in such a way you really just think that your just the one who's causing the problems or your the one at fault. Myself, my sister and brother suffer from depression and trauma from our upbringing in her care and we're worried for our two younger siblings. Not to mention what my dad has and is still goin through...
This has been going on for so long and I just want it to stop my dad is so stressed out and hurt beyond belief, every time I think about the things she did to him, locking him out in the cold, making him work so hard, taking every penny he made and demanding more, making him think his children hate him, getting us kids to treat him so bad because we didn't know better, making him take the blame for every thing and putting up with her for us.
Now that I do know better it hurts me so much, even more so that he can still forgive us and she still harrasses him and bombards him with rediculous demands and threats while invading his social life and bothering his friends so that he argues with them. He's starting to drink more because of it all. She agrivates situations so that you get frustrated and end up looking like the bad person.
I know that between myself, my 18 yr old brother and our 23 yr old sister, we have enough to make it stop. We just don't know what to do with everything we know. We dont' know where to start.
I hope that it made enough sense to get some help on it.
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