SallyandJack
New Member
I was a victim of domestic violence for a very long time. I tried several times to make him leave the house, it was impossible. He would wait for me to fall asleep or be out of the house to break in. He is a drug addict and an abuser. He stole money, all kind of stuff multiple times. Each time I tried pressing charges but it never got done because police said I couldn't because we lived together and everything that was in the house including my money was considered his even that we were never married. One day, tired of everything I tried police one more time and explained them what was going on, that I wanted him out of the house because I was concern about my kids. I told them about the drugs, the addicts coming over, his verbal and physical abuse towards me. I told them that I didn't have any other place to go to because I didn't have any family or friends. They didn't press charges, they told me that I have only two options which was for me to take him to court to get an eviction notice which was going to give him 30 days and the other one was to call Department of Children Services (DCS) on myself and make them aware of the situation. I told her that I couldn't do the first one cause he was constantly threating to kill me if I ever tried leaving him. I was worried about the second option because I didn't want to lose my kids since the situation was out of my hands. Police told me not to worry because I was the one looking for help, DCS couldn't do that. I called DCS and explained the situation over the phone. I asked them to please be as confidential as possible. DCS showed up the next day and without considering the danger I was into, told my ex what I have told them over the phone. DCS asked him if it was true, he denied everything. He was told by DCS to take a drug screen, which he refused and DCS worker said he will come back with a court order. DCS never call me back or continue investigation at all. He was never told to leave so I kept leaving my hell without any help until 2012 when he almost kill me and my older son called 911. He was arrested that day and was kept in jail for violation on probation until couple of months prior to trial. DCS was called by police and ever since they have not let me move on. I explained what happen and I told them that I was worried about my kids because they were not protected by my order of protection, that I wanted them to help me obtain one for them. I didn't hear from them until couple of days before court which was months later. It wasn's until then that she finally gave me a copy of the kids' restraining order which I was never informed that it was done or anything. Since my caseworker was about to have a baby, they put up court date until after her maternity leave was over. I was assigned a new caseworker. She told me that all I needed to do was let her see the kids once a month until court. She never contacted me or visited children until July 2013 when the kids' dad was released from jail. She made appointments to meet with me in two occasions but never showed up. One day when I came home from work, there was a note from her at my front door threating me with court for no cooperation. She went to the house and talked to the kids for 3 minutes and instructed them to go in their rooms because she needed to talk to me. She told me that the reason she was there was because he was out of jail and was calling DCS everyday asking for visitations. I told her that neither my kids or me wanted the visitations. She told me that I needed to allow the visitations but I refused. I showed her copies of document from court that required him to take anger management classes, random drug screens, rehab, parenting classes, domestic violence, etc. I asked her if he already did all of that and she said no, he just got out of jail. She said that she had never readed the document before. I told her that it was suppose to be on file, because that was my copy that was given to me by the other case worker. She then told me that if that what I wanted that I needed to take counseling, parenting classes and some assesments as well. She got upset by my refusal and started asking me questions about my new boyfriend who has nothing to do with what happened. She wanted to scheduled a meeting with me, my "fake" lawyer appointed by the state, him and his lawyer. I also refused because I was not going to exposed myself like that. I went to see my lawyer and explained what happened, I asked her to do a petition to stop visitations but she never did. She is best friend with DCS worker since high school. When court date arrived it was suspended again because police officer didn't show up. Guardian ad litem told the judge about my concerns regarding visitations and the kids not wanting to see their dad do to fear becuase of his drug abuse. Judge said that he understands but that he hasn't seeing his kids for 8 months that every parent does not matter how bad they are have rights to see their kids. He set up the Court for Oct. DCS, my lawyer, his lawyer, all of them were talking to him after court. I had a panic attac so I left. While I was trying to leave the building I was told by caseworker that I needed to go back because the kids' dad refused drug screen and they were getting the judge to sign an order. Judge asked him why he was refusing and he said that becuase he already took one at probation office. The judge said there was no need for him to take another one that he needed to showed up 30 minutes prior visitations to make sure he wasn't under the influences, that visitations were still allow. I got mad, my anxiety got worsed, told my lawyer I was firing her cause she didn't said a single word the entire time in court. The next day, case worker calls me at work to tell me that I had 30 minutes to get the kids to the visitation. I told her it was impossible, I didn't have a ride and the kids were still at the school bus. I told her how upset I was with the judge's decision, that I feel like they were helping him and not me who was the victim. Guess she felt bad or something cause right after I said that she said that his probation officer made him take a random drug screen and it was positive for cocaine. She said they need to wait on lab results but until then I need it to allow visitations. I tried everything to stop this visits, but nobody help me, I was threat by DCS and my own lawyer with jail and the possibility of losing custody if I kept on missing visitations. Since I didn't want to lose my kids, I took them to visitation once, the following week he was back in jail for new charges. DCS trial was suspended two more times after that. Finally the trial was done and he was found guilty, DCS asked court to close case and his lawyer brings accusations made by my ex saying that my new boyfriend was not allow his own children that he was concerned about mine being around him. The judge did not close the case and ask DCS to investigate. I lost my boyfriend after he was the only one taking care of me and my children for a whole year just because he is a veteran and suffers from ptsd. They didn't close the case, I was homeless, didn't have a job, no other choice so I left anyway. A month later DCS called the house where I'm staying right now, she told me she couldn't close the case because the judge got mad that I didn't showed up. I put up the court date one more time for DCS to find me and make me come back to TN. I just started a new job, I am still staying with friends, I have no money to go back to TN. She left a voicemail saying that they are going to issue a warrant for my arrest if I don't show up for court. I know that is possible but what I want to know is if they can take my children away because I took them out of jurisdiction without case being close even that I was a victim and was never found guilty of anything? Please help, I am worry, I don't want to lose my kids over something like this. I am just trying to start a new life with them away from my abuser.
