Desperately need help and advice? Girlfriend has our 3 children and need help. PLEASE

[wlporter]

Hello and thank you in advance for anything you can share with me on my situation to identify what my rights are and even what I should do. Any and all replies are appreciated.
My Girlfriend and I met 5 yrs ago in Los Angeles. Over that time we had 2 children and raised them until LA got a bit too overwhelming... I was in my opinion coerced into moving to IL (her hometown) with promises to do all matter of things to make it comfortable for me. (None of this of course came into fruition) The deception
began when we arrived in IL after 2 months. She told me she was pregnant with our 3rd child and she did not want it. Of course i was stunned and hurt. But the fact is the baby was conceived in LA 2 months prior to our departure. This of course would have changed everything and ultimately the move 2000 miles away from my home. So about 1 yr into life in IL she of course got so distant physically and emotionally that i had no choice but to talk with her... We did and decided to take time apart. My mother was ill in CA so i went back there. But for the past year I have flown back and forth for weeks taking care of my children in IL. and I was welcome in our or her house no problems whatsoever. I even would send her large amounts of money in order to take care of the children and would have to sacrifice flying to see my children and that broke my heart... Literally... It seemed after a while shewas doing it on purpose... But i cannot prove it. Anyway, I made the decision then to move out there and get my own place in order to take care of my children. Then a turn for the worse. After I told her this, she reacted by saying I could no longer stay there until i found a place. I would have to stay in a motel and then get proceedings going for custody... I was blow away again... Just unreal behavior... So what I really need to know is if I move out to IL will I have a good chance at getting joint custody? And is there any way because alll children were conceived in CA to bring them back here? I only want what is fair and best for my babies I love them so... But I cannot go to much longer without holding them and raising them. And the only contact i have with them is phone because they are 2000 miles away... Please anything will be so helpful. I am at a loss for words and humanity.... Sincerely,
William

 

[army judge]

You need an attorney. To do that, you must retain an attorney in Illinois. She has outsmarted you.

You have huge obstacles to overcome. Unmarried fathers have few, if any real rights, unless they seek redress through the courts.

She and your children have lived in Illinois long enough to take California out if the equation. Your Illinois lawyer will explain all of that, and more to you.

Some of the best father's rights attorneys reside in Illinois, especially the Chicago area. This great website can prove valuable in locating Illinois lawyers. Of course, the state bar association and Google can provide you with some good referrals, too.

You are behind that proverbial "8 ball".

Get cracking, the sooner you start, the sooner you finish.

Also Google "UCCJA"!

Good luck.

 

[wlporter]

THank you very much for your reply... As sad as it is to hear I am going to have to get out there and do all i can to have my children at least for whatever the law allows. Wow life sure is splintered isn't it?

 

[mightymoose]

Where the children were conceived has nothing to do with it. They are under the jurisdiction of the Illinois courts and you will have to resolve everything there.
you might be able to get some kind of joint custody and visitation, but if she resists your attempts to bring the kids to CA you are going to have a tough fight.
You got duped into leaving LA in the first place... and it is not easy do undo a dupe. Obtaining a visitation order and some kind of custody recognition must be your first goal. Should that be achieved (and it will be many months from now if successful) you can start thinking about relocating- but it will be the circumstances at that time that are important, not the circumstances right now.