Divorce/Support/Custody

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nycdad26

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Issue #1-In January 2009 I paid for and hired an attorney to represent me in filing for divorce. The attorney served my ex in March with intent of divorce proceedings. My ex never responded. I agreed to pay half the mortgage on our home $2K/month until the divorce was final. Child support/visitation is all in the divorce papers and nothing extraordinary about it. My ex refused to acknowledge the divorce papers. My ex, however she did take me to child support court in March. In June I was ordered to pay $412/week for 2 children. And despite me paying $2K/month for mortgage in Jan-Jun they made the support effective from when she filed, causing me to be in arrears $4K! I told the court a divorce was in process. I also stated that I had been paying half mortgage to cover child support until the divorce was final at which point the child support in the papers would take effect ($300/week). The magistrate disregarded both issues. In June due to tense issues (harrasment) at work I resigned. I have since found a new job however it is not the same pay. I have filed to have the support reduced the magistrate wants proof i am no longer at my previous employment. I have given new pay stubs from the new job. I gave a notarized letter from the old job that I am no longer there. The magistrate said it is not enough I need prove I reported harrassment to my HR. My previous employer did fire the manager responsibe for the harrasment however there was still a tense environment. I am not sure my previous employer would give me the statement they have in my file stating I reported harrassment. I am not in arrears but I have spent all my savings keeping up with child support and the arrears.

Issue #2-Now my ex gave my attorney the run around everytime the attorney called her. Since she is getting child support she feels she no reason to look at the divorce papers. My ex was served once again on September 9th, this paper work was also submitted to the Bronx Supreme court. I have contacted them, they say they have it but it will take up to 6 months for the judge to reach my paperwork. To my knowledge my ex never responded to the paperwork. Back in February she let me ahave my kids every other weekend when I was living at my mothers. Since I have moved in with my girlfriend(June), she lets me see my children maybe once a month for a few hours. This past weekend she let me pick up the children on Saturday. Saturday evening she ordered I return them at 10p. Since there is nothing in writting and it is my right to be with my children I told her they would be home Sunday afternoon. She will not allow sleep overs where I now live with my girlfriend. My children absolutely love spending time with me. At 1230a in the rain the police arrived at the door stating she was there because I did not return the children. The police couldnt do anything since there is no order and they believed it was ridiculous to have to even knock on the door to check on the sleeping toddlers. My ex fully expected police officers to come into the house at midnight and pull sleeping toddlers out of their bed to take them home in the rain (an hours drive). My ex filed a report but that was all that was done. The next day (sunday) she told me to return the children at 8p.

Issue #3-Where I live is a much more stable environment for my children. The school district is better. They would live in a house vs. and apartment with their mother. There would be constant stable care for them and I would encourage a positive relationship with their mother. My ex on the other hand takes my daughter to school late daily (20-30 min), the kids are shuffled between school and 2 caregivers a day as my ex works until 8-9p. On weekends since the ex wont allow them to be with me, they are with her relatives. One weekend she said I could have them then changed her mind the last minute. She stated she was doing something with them. I spoke with my ex's mother recently and she said my daughter was anxiously waiting for me that day at her house. I told my ex's mother "my kids were there with you and not with my ex?" She said yes that my daughter said "my daddy is picking me up today". So my ex told my daughter I would be there to get them and told me I couldnt have them. Then when I didnt show up my kids were disappointed.

When we were together since my ex worked odd hours I would be the one to pick up the kids from daycare, give them dinner, bathe them and put them to bed and on weekends I was off so they were with me. I really want to file for custody of my children and have them live with me since their mother appears to be incapable providing stable care for the children during the weekdays. She is spiteful and attempting to damage my relationship with my children. I have been there from day one for my children. With me they would go to school one block away and would come home after school daily. I would not have any issues allowing my ex to have the children every Fri afterschool until Sunday evenings.

What can I do to resolve this? Do I have a case to get my children to live with me Mon-Fri? How long would a case like this take?
 
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Is there an actual court order for custody or visitation? If not then both you and mom have equal rights to the kids. Unless the court is telling you to pay the mortgage, stop paying it. You can certainly ask for cusotdy, nobody knows your chances of getting it. You can also ask for joint. Be sure to get a detailed visitation schedule that includes holidays, birthdays, school breaks. etc..
 
I did not file for visitation as I had the divorce proceedings in process. In the divorce proceedings I am asking for the kids every weekend all weekend. How much would a lawyer cost to handle this kind of case. After going to child support court I definitely know I need a lawyer.

and yes I stopped paying the mortgage. However mortgage company does not care about any court orders they want their money. So most likely the apt will be lost to foreclosure.
 
Foreclosures often happen in a divorce. That is the way it is. I recommend seeing an attorney, you will have to get quotes. Lawyers are not cheap but you need representation. Does mom have an attorney?
 
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