msbluebird
New Member
My boyfriend is currently going through a divorce. He and his ex had been separated (not legally) for about three years, but just hadn't gone through the divorce proceedings, mostly due to their 4-year-old daughter. We have been together almost a year and a half, and live together, although his ex will not allow him to bring his daughter to our house for visits because of me. So he goes to visit his daughter on most weekends and stays at the ex's house, which obviously is not a situation that I am happy with, nor one that can be continued long-term. I should also mention that we live in Pennsylvania, and his ex and his daughter live in Canada. I did meet his daughter one time and we got along very well, however he had not told his ex first and she was furious when she found out.
He served her with divorce papers basically giving her primary custody with him being granted visitation rights. She came back to him with several stipulations, many of which seem very outlandish. She is saying that his daughter will not be allowed to visit his home if he is living with someone else; if he remarries his daughter will not be allowed at his wedding, nor will she be allowed overnight visits to his home; if he has more children his daughter will not be allowed overnight visits; that his daughter spends all holidays with her and her family; and that in the event of her untimely death, their daughter would go to her brother and his wife. My boyfriend is a good person--He has a great job, no criminal record, has never been in any way abusive, and is a very loving father. There is no reason that he should not be able to have a normal relationship with his daughter.
This is an obvious attempt on her part to drive me out of the picture. I am a very normal, responsible, educated person who comes from a very large and loving family and would in no way be a negative influence on this little girl's life. If anything, I think it is more confusing for their daughter to not know what her father's life is really like and to have so much instability. I would not try to pretend or try to be a "second mommy" to her--but I do feel I could actually be a positive and loving person in her life.
So my question is, does his ex have a right to ask for these things? And if they end up not being able to come to a compromise and this has to go to the courts, would they ever rule in her favor and grant her these requests?
It seems to me that if they are divorced, it is the right of both of them to move on and be happy, whether that's to remarry, have more children, etc. As long as their daughter is loved, provided for, and included in BOTH of their lives, and is in no way being abused or mistreated emotionally or physically, can his ex really tell him what he can do with his personal life once they are divorced?
He served her with divorce papers basically giving her primary custody with him being granted visitation rights. She came back to him with several stipulations, many of which seem very outlandish. She is saying that his daughter will not be allowed to visit his home if he is living with someone else; if he remarries his daughter will not be allowed at his wedding, nor will she be allowed overnight visits to his home; if he has more children his daughter will not be allowed overnight visits; that his daughter spends all holidays with her and her family; and that in the event of her untimely death, their daughter would go to her brother and his wife. My boyfriend is a good person--He has a great job, no criminal record, has never been in any way abusive, and is a very loving father. There is no reason that he should not be able to have a normal relationship with his daughter.
This is an obvious attempt on her part to drive me out of the picture. I am a very normal, responsible, educated person who comes from a very large and loving family and would in no way be a negative influence on this little girl's life. If anything, I think it is more confusing for their daughter to not know what her father's life is really like and to have so much instability. I would not try to pretend or try to be a "second mommy" to her--but I do feel I could actually be a positive and loving person in her life.
So my question is, does his ex have a right to ask for these things? And if they end up not being able to come to a compromise and this has to go to the courts, would they ever rule in her favor and grant her these requests?
It seems to me that if they are divorced, it is the right of both of them to move on and be happy, whether that's to remarry, have more children, etc. As long as their daughter is loved, provided for, and included in BOTH of their lives, and is in no way being abused or mistreated emotionally or physically, can his ex really tell him what he can do with his personal life once they are divorced?
