ex violating visitation aggreement

[newlife]

The main reason for our divorce was many affairs. The main was with another married women. They have continued on & off together this past year. It clearly states in our papers that she not have any contact with my children until she is legally seperated. He had her around them numerous times. I spoke with her husband yesterday and there year seperation just ended this month and she has yet to obtain her own attorney. Also it clearly states (in SC) that there be no overnights with women when my ex has the children for visitation. I have found out from one of my children that he has let her stay over several times in the past. When he questioned this his dad told him it was allowed so that he wouldn't tell me.
Her husband and I have just found out that they are moving into an apartment together this weekend. They just started dating again within the last 3 months. My question is how do I handle visitation? I don't want them spending the night with her and they have proven time and time again that they can't be trusted. Do I have to send them for overnight visits?

 

[mightymoose]

You need to get this matter back into the family court as soon as possible so these issues can be addressed.

When it comes to child custody issues, I always tell parents that regardless of what the visitation order says, if you have a valid reason to believe your children are not in a safe environment when with the other parent, then don't let them go.

The other parent may call police out, but they will likely just document the issue and refer you both back to the court. You won't really get in trouble for violating the order unless you are deliberately attempting to keep the children from the other parent simply out of spite.

If you think the situation with the move and the presence of the other woman is somehow harmful to your children, and you believe you can justify that argument in court, then don't let them go for the visitation. Call the ex out on his own violation of the order and keep the kids until the court can resolve the problem and issue a new order.

This isn't to say that I encourage anyone to violate a court order... I am simply saying that you aren't going to get into trouble for doing so if you have legitimate cause to do so, and it will be up to the court to decide if your reason was valid- not the ex, and not the police.

So... essentially you will need to verbalize why the presence of the other woman and her impending move in with the ex is harmful to the children. If you can't do that, then you should probably let them go for the visitation and still get back into the court as soon as you can.