Ex's Psycho Girlfriend

[sammyjean1970]

My Ex-husband whom I share joint custody of our 2 children is having problems with his live in girlfriend, he wants her to move out but she won't. They've been living together for a year now and the relationship between them has been extremely rocky to say the least. You see, the girlfriend is seriously Bipolar and has been in and out of mental institutions all her life and has been in at least a dozen times in the last year. My ex and I have been the best of friends since our divorce, making Co-parenting easy and a pleasure, that is until she came along; she has been extremely jealous and hateful of me, I've even had to get a restraining order against her to keep her away from me. My ex and I are still friends but our ability to communicate with each other is now limited because she just goes ballistic if she finds out that he's talked to me, even when it's just about the children. Every time he starts the legal process to kick her out she turns around and gets on her best behavior and patches things over with him just long enough to void the whole process; like a vicious abuse cycle he can't seem to get away from. I'm very concerned for my children being exposed to all of this. He is a good dad but he just can seem to shake the psycho girlfriend. My patience is wearing very thin, is there any way to get her out of the house in a hurry? 60 days eviction is just too long, and I worry that if she faces eviction she might become mentally unstable enough to harm him or my children. By-The-Way: State is California, he owns the house, she's on disability for her mental condition and CPS has already been involved once before.

 

[Duranie]

Your ex should start eviction proceedings, and if she is threatening or a danger to the kids at all, he can try filing an RO. But until he goes through eviction procedures, there may not be much he can do.

 

[CdwJava]

Every time he starts the legal process to kick her out she turns around and gets on her best behavior and patches things over with him just long enough to void the whole process;

So, he's a sucker.

And, I seriously doubt she has been committed to an institution 12 times in the last year ... that just doesn't happen. If she is THAT nuts, she would be institutionalized. I can see where she has gone into counseling or such at least that many times, but committed? No.

like a vicious abuse cycle he can't seem to get away from.

Not true. He is CHOOSING not to get away from it.

I'm very concerned for my children being exposed to all of this. He is a good dad but he just can seem to shake the psycho girlfriend. My patience is wearing very thin,

Then you go back to court and ask that visitation be conducted without the girlfriend present. Then she will have to leave during visitation or the ex does not get visitation. Yes, it might "punish" the ex, but if you are truly concerned for your children's welfare then you might consider this. Maybe THEN he will get rid of her.

is there any way to get her out of the house in a hurry?

He can get a restraining order if she is a threat to him. If not, he may have to evict her (since he is the owner of the property).

60 days eviction is just too long, and I worry that if she faces eviction she might become mentally unstable enough to harm him or my children.

You can't evict him, so it's not your issue. And 60 days is shorter than never. You need to get your ex on board to handle this - it is HIS problem, not yours.

he owns the house, she's on disability for her mental condition and CPS has already been involved once before.

Then the ex could lose his right to visitation if the problems continue.

You have to decide whether you act for the welfare of the kids, or to keep the ex happy. Apparently he wants the girl, so you have to take your actions based on the welfare of the kids.

- Carl

 

[Carpet_Dude]

Here's the solution.
You keep the kids for a while. Have the ex take her on vacation to Mexico. While they are gone, have someone change the locks on all the doors and move into the home temporarily with a rental agreement signed by him and notorized. Now, Here is the trick. While she is gone shopping in Mexico(with money he gives her to buy something really special for tonight), He deposits her passport in the nearest trash recepticle and goes to airport catching the first flight out to the Bahamas. When she finally comes home, have the "tenant" call the police to have her extricated from the premises when she starts her ranting and raving outside. NOTE: It is important that any and all mail with her name on it is out of the home. It would be good if all the furniture is also changed temporarily. A furniture rental company should move and store the regular stuff for free or little charge. Any of her personal property should be conveniently deposited at the local charity collection center. This should do the trick. I'll bet that if he stays gone for 2-3 weeks after she shows up at her old home, then he'll never hear from her again.

NOTE: This is just a suggestion, and I am in no way liable for any actions that yuo may take based on this suggestion. Nor am I liable for any outcome of actions taken by the Ex's pshyco companion. All disclaimers imaginable apply.

 

[sammyjean1970]

Here's the solution.
You keep the kids for a while. Have the ex take her on vacation to Mexico. While they are gone, have someone change the locks on all the doors and move into the home temporarily with a rental agreement signed by him and notorized. Now, Here is the trick. While she is gone shopping in Mexico(with money he gives her to buy something really special for tonight), He deposits her passport in the nearest trash recepticle and goes to airport catching the first flight out to the Bahamas. When she finally comes home, have the "tenant" call the police to have her extricated from the premises when she starts her ranting and raving outside. NOTE: It is important that any and all mail with her name on it is out of the home. It would be good if all the furniture is also changed temporarily. A furniture rental company should move and store the regular stuff for free or little charge. Any of her personal property should be conveniently deposited at the local charity collection center. This should do the trick. I'll bet that if he stays gone for 2-3 weeks after she shows up at her old home, then he'll never hear from her again.

NOTE: This is just a suggestion, and I am in no way liable for any actions that yuo may take based on this suggestion. Nor am I liable for any outcome of actions taken by the Ex's pshyco companion. All disclaimers imaginable apply.

Carpet Dude, I love this. :dgrin Very creative! Sounds like it could make a good movie screenplay!

 

[Carpet_Dude]

Thank You, Thank You Very Much.

 

[katlowe]

I can understand your frustration and concern for your children. I do not know the legalities of evictions proceedings, but since it is his home and he owns it I am not understanding why he can't have her removed. My sister was living with our half sister and she had changed the locks and when my sister tried to get the officer to let her back in he stated she is not on the lease therefore if the person on the lease wants her to vacate she has no choice. Is there a rental agreement between them? Man I thought my life was complicated.

 

[CdwJava]

It depends on the law in the OP's particular state. For instance, in my state if she had contributed financially towards the household she is no longer a "gratuitous guest" and could not be forced out by simply telling her to leave. He also could not evict her unless he owned the property - being a tenant on a lease does not grant him eviction rights in my state.

But, regardless of the state's laws, it appears that he has had the opportunity to get rid of her but has chosen not to do so. The issue seems to be less one of his ability to get rid of her and more his lack of desire to do so.

- Carl