baxterthegreat
New Member
I have been falsely accused of Violence against my ex gf. 3 weeks prior to the incident she was baker acted for trying to cut herself up and kill herself. I have had to restrain her multiple times when she was seriously cutting herself and twice when she has attacked me before. I always communicated with her parents when this happened and it was her parents who baker acted her when I called them and told them she was was being a danger to herself and trying to jump out of the car.
The morning the attack allegedly happened she had been up all night the night before with her best friend, who is also our room mate, popping her (prescribed) xanax and adderol. When I got up around 730-8am and decided to play video games instead of hanging out with them she had another one of her freak outs where she accused me of not caring/cheating/lying to her. She was always jealous and accusing me of stuff even though I spent all my time at home with her. She made me keep a dead friends picture and obituary in my closet and not on my wall where I had always kept it because I had been intimate once with the girl who had died. Anyway she was yelling at me and I was fed up with the accusations and things so I dumped her. I wasn't very nice about it and said it was because she was always being childish and a brat. She went livid and attacked me. I reacted instinctively since I have had to do it before. I blocked her first swing and grabbed her arm as she swung again and I held it as I swung behind her and then I wrapped both my arms around her arms to hold them at her side. I held her from behind like that kneeling on the ground as I had done before because she always cooled off and quit fighting when I did and then we could talk rationally. I let her go and she immediately started to yell and scream at me again. I called out for our room mate to come get her and told her to go away and said she needed to go with her friend.
Later that day I texted her and asked her if she was safe because she always threatened suicide when we talked about breaking up before. She said she was safe and we even had an almost civil conversation about my moving out and working things out as friends. The next day she text me that I have one week to move out or she was calling the police and saying I assaulted her. I thought with her history they would see my side of the story so I didn't take it seriously and said I would be out in 30 days and sooner if I could. But her and her parents decided to press charges anyone and one of them is a felony! She had bruises on her arm and one on her neck I believe she gave herself (she has beaten herself before too). I never intended to hurt her and I told the police this and even the female officer acted like she believed me and said she thinks her parents are pushing her to do it. However they arrested me! I worked at a middle school so I lost my job, I have a lawyer. The whole thing is very scary, it seems ridiculous they believe my word over hers. I know she has bruises but she has a history of self injury and I have no violent history, I work at a school with kids where I am well loved and respected. It seems like a surreal nightmare. Even her best friend who was there doesn't believe her and thinks she likely attacked me because she has seen her do it in the past, but she didn't see anything that day. All she heard my ex say was that she threw a book at me. I have a lawyer but I am still worried. Any advice on how to go about this, what kind of evidence I should try to get.
Some differences in her story and the truth are...
-She claims it happened in the afternoon when in fact it happened early in the morning. Both Her room mate and my best friend who were there that morning will testify to this.
- She is claiming I attacked her outright. Neither my friend nor hers saw the incident but they are both willing to testify that they have seen her attack me before and think that its more likely she attacked me than otherwise.
- She has had her friends call me and harass me and make fun of me, I can't prove it but I can prove that she knows the person whose phone was used to call me and I can prove she was at the same party the kid who called me was at. (Once again both our friends were there when this happened but they didn't see her incite the call).
I am out on bond under the conditions I don't return to my old apartment or contact her in anyway. I have no desire too. I am hurt she would do this to me but I broke up with her and am happy about it because the constant worry of her hurting herself and her constant attacks on me verbally were extremely stressful and depressing.
I just feel like because I am the man and bigger than her (not by much I am skinny I weigh a whole 130, she weighs maybe 105-110) that everyone just believes her especially because of the bruises. She was fighting against me when I held her I admit I may have caused those bruises accidentally (I think the neck bruise is self created) but only because she was fighting me wildly when I tried to hold her, I never intended to hurt her or do anything but calm the situation down.
I feel like the victim of some horrible joke but I can't get out and everyone who doesn't know me see's me as a monster. Not a single person I know even believes I am capable of this. I am facing a felony charge and the end of my career no matter what. I can barely afford my lawyer and I have had to move back in with my parents at the age of 27. If anyone has any advice please help me.
The morning the attack allegedly happened she had been up all night the night before with her best friend, who is also our room mate, popping her (prescribed) xanax and adderol. When I got up around 730-8am and decided to play video games instead of hanging out with them she had another one of her freak outs where she accused me of not caring/cheating/lying to her. She was always jealous and accusing me of stuff even though I spent all my time at home with her. She made me keep a dead friends picture and obituary in my closet and not on my wall where I had always kept it because I had been intimate once with the girl who had died. Anyway she was yelling at me and I was fed up with the accusations and things so I dumped her. I wasn't very nice about it and said it was because she was always being childish and a brat. She went livid and attacked me. I reacted instinctively since I have had to do it before. I blocked her first swing and grabbed her arm as she swung again and I held it as I swung behind her and then I wrapped both my arms around her arms to hold them at her side. I held her from behind like that kneeling on the ground as I had done before because she always cooled off and quit fighting when I did and then we could talk rationally. I let her go and she immediately started to yell and scream at me again. I called out for our room mate to come get her and told her to go away and said she needed to go with her friend.
Later that day I texted her and asked her if she was safe because she always threatened suicide when we talked about breaking up before. She said she was safe and we even had an almost civil conversation about my moving out and working things out as friends. The next day she text me that I have one week to move out or she was calling the police and saying I assaulted her. I thought with her history they would see my side of the story so I didn't take it seriously and said I would be out in 30 days and sooner if I could. But her and her parents decided to press charges anyone and one of them is a felony! She had bruises on her arm and one on her neck I believe she gave herself (she has beaten herself before too). I never intended to hurt her and I told the police this and even the female officer acted like she believed me and said she thinks her parents are pushing her to do it. However they arrested me! I worked at a middle school so I lost my job, I have a lawyer. The whole thing is very scary, it seems ridiculous they believe my word over hers. I know she has bruises but she has a history of self injury and I have no violent history, I work at a school with kids where I am well loved and respected. It seems like a surreal nightmare. Even her best friend who was there doesn't believe her and thinks she likely attacked me because she has seen her do it in the past, but she didn't see anything that day. All she heard my ex say was that she threw a book at me. I have a lawyer but I am still worried. Any advice on how to go about this, what kind of evidence I should try to get.
Some differences in her story and the truth are...
-She claims it happened in the afternoon when in fact it happened early in the morning. Both Her room mate and my best friend who were there that morning will testify to this.
- She is claiming I attacked her outright. Neither my friend nor hers saw the incident but they are both willing to testify that they have seen her attack me before and think that its more likely she attacked me than otherwise.
- She has had her friends call me and harass me and make fun of me, I can't prove it but I can prove that she knows the person whose phone was used to call me and I can prove she was at the same party the kid who called me was at. (Once again both our friends were there when this happened but they didn't see her incite the call).
I am out on bond under the conditions I don't return to my old apartment or contact her in anyway. I have no desire too. I am hurt she would do this to me but I broke up with her and am happy about it because the constant worry of her hurting herself and her constant attacks on me verbally were extremely stressful and depressing.
I just feel like because I am the man and bigger than her (not by much I am skinny I weigh a whole 130, she weighs maybe 105-110) that everyone just believes her especially because of the bruises. She was fighting against me when I held her I admit I may have caused those bruises accidentally (I think the neck bruise is self created) but only because she was fighting me wildly when I tried to hold her, I never intended to hurt her or do anything but calm the situation down.
I feel like the victim of some horrible joke but I can't get out and everyone who doesn't know me see's me as a monster. Not a single person I know even believes I am capable of this. I am facing a felony charge and the end of my career no matter what. I can barely afford my lawyer and I have had to move back in with my parents at the age of 27. If anyone has any advice please help me.
