Father Exposing Child to Food He is Allergic To During Visitation

[yank7558]

Jurisdiction

Oklahoma

I am recently divorced and have sole custody of a 1.5 year old with severe food allergies (peanuts, tree nuts, eggs). My son's father currently lives in his mother's home, with 9 children living in the home, most of the children under the age of 6 years. During visitation with his father, his grandmother frequently cooks and serves food containing eggs to the nine children while my son is present, even in the same room. This is a huge danger. I have petitioned the court for a modification to visitation to require supervised visitation with his father until he can complete some courses regarding food allergies and anaphylaxis, and provide a safe environment where food that my son is allergic to is not cooked while he is present, as this alone can cause a severe reaction, and also that it is not served to several other young children in his presence, as the risk for contact among young children is very high. We have a temporary agreement that I supervise visitation with his father for safety due to allergies until our trail.

I'm worried that a judge may not understand the significance of this risk, as many people who do not have direct experience with food allergies really don't have a good understanding of how food allergies are managed, which is primarily by avoidance. My attorney has recommended that a GAL be appointed to make a recommendation to the judge about custody and visitation. I have been hesitant to do this, as I feel that I am competent to care for and make decisions regarding my child. Any advice is appreciated.

 

[adjusterjack]

I'm worried that a judge may not understand the significance of this risk,

Then bring a doctor to court to testify.

Your attorney should be able to arrange that.

 

[army judge]

I am recently divorced and have sole custody of a 1.5 year old with severe food allergies (peanuts, tree nuts, eggs). My son's father currently lives in his mother's home, with 9 children living in the home, most of the children under the age of 6 years. During visitation with his father, his grandmother frequently cooks and serves food containing eggs to the nine children while my son is present, even in the same room. This is a huge danger. I have petitioned the court for a modification to visitation to require supervised visitation with his father until he can complete some courses regarding food allergies and anaphylaxis, and provide a safe environment where food that my son is allergic to is not cooked while he is present, as this alone can cause a severe reaction, and also that it is not served to several other young children in his presence, as the risk for contact among young children is very high. We have a temporary agreement that I supervise visitation with his father for safety due to allergies until our trail.

I'm worried that a judge may not understand the significance of this risk, as many people who do not have direct experience with food allergies really don't have a good understanding of how food allergies are managed, which is primarily by avoidance. My attorney has recommended that a GAL be appointed to make a recommendation to the judge about custody and visitation. I have been hesitant to do this, as I feel that I am competent to care for and make decisions regarding my child. Any advice is appreciated.

Nothing any internet forum can do for you.
You've retained an attorney.
If you no longer trust your attorney you are free to hire another attorney.
The judge will decide.
You'll have to wait for your petition to be heard.
Nothing a bunch of anonymous people can do to help you, nor should you solicit the opinions of uninvolved participants in your legal matters.

 

[yank7558]

Well I was hoping that others may have had a similar situation or experience and may be able to offer their story. I completely understand your point, and I'm not seeking actual legal advice. Really just wanting to hear other's opinions. Sometimes a fresh set of "eyes" or "ears" may produce ideas that I have not considered. I am also wondering how common this situation is with child custody and food allergies. I saw a similar post from 2010 with very helpful answers, but was unable to reply to the thread as the opportunity to comment had expired.

I appreciate you sharing your opinion.

 

[yank7558]

Then bring a doctor to court to testify.

Your attorney should be able to arrange that.

That's a great idea! I will definitely speak with my attorney about that.

 

[adjusterjack]

That's a great idea! I will definitely speak with my attorney about that.

An allergist would be best.

It would also help to submit medical records of any treatment for allergic reactions that your son might have had while staying with his father.

Unfortunately, the other side of that coin is if he's had no reactions at his father's house, it may mean that they are successfully keeping him away from risky foods.

 

[ElleMD]

Agree with the above. Not your state but a friend of the family had the same "issue". As long as the child wasn't being fed the food he was allergic to, you can not impede the father's right to impede his relationship with the child based on fear of what *might* happen. So far he has been there and not had any issues. If you or Dad takes the kid to a playground, the supermarket, a restaurant, or anywhere outside the house, chances are Junior is going to encounter those who have or are consuming foods he is allergic to. It is not reasonable to insist an entire other household totally rid themselves of items your child can not eat out of fear. That may be your choice in your home, but your choice can not be imposed on others. When he eventually goes to school, it will be the same thing. You can not insist the other students forgo eggs for breakfast because they might touch your child. It is very possible to live in a home with an allergic family member and the allergen. I have done it. So have millions of others.