Father has ex parte order, Mother making things hard

[dh80]

I have a complicated case, so I'll try to shorten and simplify it. Basically I won an ex parte order for my 3yo daughter because her mother is very unstable, sadistic, repeatedly threatened to move her away every time we disagree ( even wrote me a message saying she will change her last name and tell her I died in the Iraq war and she is so young she won't know any better) and has a long violent past including a domestic violence towards me while I was holding our daughter. Her mother and I separated about a year and a half ago with no court order for visitation, I was a big part of raising her for the first year and a half we were still together and always had my daughter with me every where I went. She is a total daddy's girl, and didn't really want much to do with her mother as her mother didn't do much with her to create s bond. After we seperated I would get her every Thursday to Sunday at the least and keep her longer quite often. We verbally agreed to this ( after many many arguments) because I refused the every other weekend she tried to demand at first, and because her family knows I'm a great dad and talked her into letting her see me more. The final straw to filing for the ex parte was when I took her to the Dr for a UTI and her mother came there and was berating me in front of everyone in the hospital but more importantly our daughter, saying to her " you're daddy F'd up and he's a F'ing liar".. then told me she was moving to Florida! She has wrote me many messages saying she wished she could go back in time to have an abortion, accusing me of things that never happened to gain sadistic pleasure of just to tell me I'm not seeing her anymore, said she wishes she would just die etc.. etc.. But on the other side of her personality, she telks me and wrote me many messages saying how lucky our daughter is to have such a great dad that gets her as much as I do and treats her good.. I believe she has mental issues and apparently the judge agrees. But now she is supposed to get supervised visitation at her sisters house every other weekend until the permanent hearing. Since the order she has called the police trying to have me arrested, taken her to the ER 2 weeks in a row then called children services on me, posted stuff in Facebook saying I use drugs with her on my lap ( which is all is completely false and an attempt for revenge).. I know my daughter likes seeing her family and should see them no matter how my ex treats me, so I have been letting her go with her every weekend to her sisters house to visit them. Last week she dropped her off with her friend and not her sister. I have a good relationship with her family, we have not spoke much since I filed the ex parte though.. My question is, can I get in trouble for allowing my daughter to go more than she was ordered? I don't want to keep her from her other side of the family, or have them mad at me for only letting her go every other weekend. It's not my daughter's fault her mother acts that way, nor is it her families. I think her family should see her more than every other weekens also, but I don't know if this would come back on me for allowing more time than ordered or after my ex's actions. And since I haven't had much contact with her family since this, I don't want them to think I am trying to keep her away from them either. Any advice would be much appreciated! Thanks!

 

[Michael Wechsler]

You can always agree voluntarily. But I'm sure that any custody lawyer will tell you that, until you get everything straightened out, you may not want to provide anything that the other side can potentially use against you, even if it seems innocuous. For example, she might say later that you aren't capable of parenting. This, and not a voluntary agreement, is why you're sending her away for extended periods of time beyond the current limits set forth. From what I hear, it seems likely that your ex-wife will be perceived for what she is. But make no mistake - I've seen strange things happen.