Father is very ill; and will not get help

[fxmulder]

My father ; who is 78; is very ill. he recently beat cancer, but has other ailments. my mother(75), can not drive, and my 2 brothers and I are her only connection; plus grandchildren;etc.<p>
my father has pancreatitis, and other ailments he refuses to watch as the Dr. has told him. he is of sound mind; but refuses to seek help. at this time his kidneys are not working properly, and he is becoming jaundiced. his stomach is swelling and he is in pain. my mother who has been married to this man since 1952 is having a terrible time with this. she wants us to be there all the time(which we can't because of our jobs and families).<p>
We call him; go see him; but he refuses to go the hospital and see a doctor. we fear he will die from this as we fear his kidneys will fail.<p>
Is there anything we can do legally to force him to go into medical care; or will my mother suffer with this; until he just drops dead in front of her? A quick answer would be helpful; as his time is growing short. thank you.

 

[CdwJava]

In general, so long as he retains his mental faculties and makes a conscious and knowing decision NOT to seek care, there is nothing anyone can really do to force him. Until he collapses and is unable to decline care, he is the master of his own destiny.

If you feel that he is mentally unstable or unable to comprehend his situation, you might consider the assistance of medical or mental health professionals. But, unless he is determined to be incompetent your hands are tied.

 

[jharris352]

I agree with CDW Java.

 

[Gail_in_Georgia]

Your fathers jaundice and abdominal swelling indicates liver, not kidney issues (with his pancreatitis does he have a history of alcohol abuse?).

As these symptoms worsen, he will begin to become more confused as the ammonia levels in his blood increase. This will happen suddenly. At that point your family will be able to take over and get him to the hospital since he will no longer to able to make his own medical decisions.

Gail

 

[mightymoose]

If you can't get him to accept treatment for his conditions, see if you can at least get him to accept medication to control the pain. That might be a way to get him into the doctor, and if he continues to refuse help once there and examined, at least having pain medication would make things a little easier on everyone.