fertility clinic custody advice

[candyjamey]

Do I need to put my husband on baby's birth certificate? I went through a fertility clinic to get pregnant and we are getting divorced. My husband didn't even know about the pregnancy. I am going to be her sole supporter. Hospital staff is pressuring me to put his name or a name on the fathers part of the application for birth certificate and social security application. Any advice would be great.

 

[Proserpina]

Are you still married?

If you are, your husband is the child's legal father and you'll need to go to court to disestablish his presumed paternity.

 

[army judge]

Proserpina is correct.
But, before you do ANYTHING, you should speak with a psychologist and an attorney.
Your situation appears to be VERY complex.
You should NOT do anything without sound legal advice and some form of psychological counseling.
If you are reluctant to "go there", at least speak with an older relative, trusted confidante, or religious counselor.
Whatever you do, don't allow anyone to pressure you into doing it.
There is NO rush.
What is done, has been done.
Take your time, and make the best decision in light of all legal, psychological, and personal data.
I wish you, your child, and your soon to be "ex-husband" well!

 

[candyjamey]

I had the baby in Ohio and live in West Virginia. My husband lives in Ohio. The nurses say I cannot leave the hospital without putting his name on the paper. He is not the father. I do have proof from the fertlity clinic that I got pregnant ththrough their help. Can I refuse to put a fathers name? I don't want to have this pressure to put a name.

 

[candyjamey]

Yes I am still married. I delivered my little girl on December 29th. I live in West Virginia. I work and had baby in Ohio. My husband also lives in Ohio. He doesn't want custody and was not in on decision to have a baby. We tried for years to get pregnant. He missed appointments and put off the idea of having a baby for 10 years so I finally said I want a divorce and went to the fertility cllinic on my own. I am 42 years old. I desparately wanted children and this was what I thought he wanted to for a few years of our marriage. I found out he really didn't want children and had given up on having any then decided I can do it without him. We had discussed divorce for a few years but it just seemed complicated. Then I decided now or never for a baby. I wanted to be divorced before I got pregnant but I knew he would put it off so long that I would be too old. I was surprised to find out I got pregnant on the first round at the clinic. He was disgusted by this news. Is there a form that I/he has to fill out to show he is no the father? I am leaving the hospital today and the nurse just came in again and said if you want to take your baby today you need to fill that paper work out compketely with fathres name. I don't have a name. I have a number from the clinic. I am being bullied by the nurses and am very uncomfortable. Can I leave the fathers information blank?

 

[mightymoose]

If he is not the father then you do not have to put his name just because you are married.
If the father is truly unknown then don't put a name.
If the father is known and you don't list it, you might be falsifying documents.
The clinic likely deals with this sort of thing frequently. They should be able to give some guidance.

 

[irish223]

If he is not the father then you do not have to put his name just because you are married.

Actually, WV code says that the husband's name does go on the birth certificate. He is the father, legally.
http://www.legis.state.wv.us/WVCODE/16/code/WVC 16 - 5 - 10 .htm

If the father is truly unknown then don't put a name.
If the father is known and you don't list it, you might be falsifying documents.
The clinic likely deals with this sort of thing frequently. They should be able to give some guidance.

The hospital is following state law. OP can request disestablishment of paternity during her divorce action, as already stated. I'm a little surprised the fertility clinic didn't require her husband's consent to the procedure.

 

[army judge]

I had the baby in Ohio and live in West Virginia. My husband lives in Ohio. The nurses say I cannot leave the hospital without putting his name on the paper. He is not the father. I do have proof from the fertlity clinic that I got pregnant ththrough their help. Can I refuse to put a fathers name? I don't want to have this pressure to put a name.

All you need to do is say you don't know the father's name.

Or, you can refuse to answer the question.

You can leave the hospital without completing the birth certificate. It makes life more difficult later, but you can leave.

 

[mightymoose]

Actually, WV code says that the husband's name does go on the birth certificate. He is the father, legally.
http://www.legis.state.wv.us/WVCODE/16/code/WVC 16 - 5 - 10 .htm

The birth occurred in Ohio, though the law looks the same over there.
While it does say the husband is presumed the father, it also says that the mother may give the surname and that she must attest to the accuracy of the information on the birth certificate.
In this case, she knows that her husband is not the father and can provide evidence from a clinic to support that, so why would she put his name on it and falsify the document?
'Unknown', "Donor', or leaving it blank is the most honest and accurate thing to do in this case. The husband could always file for paternity if he wanted to, and yes, she should certainly follow-up with an attorney for the appropriate petitions.

Bottom line- they can't put the information on the certificate for her, and they have no means of enforcement if she refuses.

If she gives in and puts her husband's name on the certificate she will have huge problems trying to correct it later.

 

[irish223]

It doesn't matter who supplied the sperm. Since she is married, the husband is the legal father of the child. It is not falsifying the BC to list her husband. It's the legally correct and accurate thing to do. Frankly, I don't care if she lists him or not, but she should know that the hospital is correct to want the husband listed. It also won't require much effort for the paternity to be rebutted later.

http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/3705

F)(1) If the mother of a child was married at the time of either conception or birth or between conception and birth, the child shall be registered in the surname designated by the mother, and the name of the husband shall be entered on the certificate as the father of the child. The presumption of paternity shall be in accordance with section 3111.03 of the Revised Code.

 

[mightymoose]

Yes, but there is NO penalty for NOT listing her husband.
She is ultimately responsible for what goes on the certificate. The hospital has no say in the matter and their threats to not let her go until she complies are bogus.
If she lists him then she will have far greater trouble removing him later. She will have the least trouble by leaving it blank or listing 'donor'. In that case anyone wishing to assert paternity certainly could, and she does not have to rely on the husband's cooperation followed by additional petitions to prove that he is not the father.
The state law in this regard appears inadequate for these type of births. She might even want to contact her state representative about the matter to discuss the difficulties and propose a change in legislation.