Gaining Custody

[Rogue0486]

Jurisdiction

California

I have a niece who cant stress enough and tells me all the time, that she does not want to be home. Her father emotionally abuses her constantly she has a form of anxiety where she has scars all over her legs arms. And when she does open up her wounds her dad threatens her to either take her phone away and threatens that she will not see the family. My sister which is her mother does not see any of this because she is always working and her husband always puts a front. I don't know how to help my niece because if I tell my sister she will then put her on the spot, and things will get worse. She tells me all the time that she wants out, how can I get her out of there legally, if her own mother does not help the situation.

 

[army judge]

I have a niece who cant stress enough and tells me all the time, that she does not want to be home. Her father emotionally abuses her constantly she has a form of anxiety where she has scars all over her legs arms. And when she does open up her wounds her dad threatens her to either take her phone away and threatens that she will not see the family. My sister which is her mother does not see any of this because she is always working and her husband always puts a front. I don't know how to help my niece because if I tell my sister she will then put her on the spot, and things will get worse. She tells me all the time that she wants out, how can I get her out of there legally, if her own mother does not help the situation.

You have the ability to do two things.
You can report what you've learned to your sister.
Your sister, the child's mother, can then decide what to do about her family.

You can report the child scarring herself to your state's child services agency, and the state will investigate.

If I were you, I'd tell me sister and stay out of this.

Would you want your sister meddling in your life?

 

[leslie82]

I have a niece who cant stress enough and tells me all the time, that she does not want to be home. Her father emotionally abuses her constantly she has a form of anxiety where she has scars all over her legs arms. And when she does open up her wounds her dad threatens her to either take her phone away and threatens that she will not see the family. My sister which is her mother does not see any of this because she is always working and her husband always puts a front. I don't know how to help my niece because if I tell my sister she will then put her on the spot, and things will get worse. She tells me all the time that she wants out, how can I get her out of there legally, if her own mother does not help the situation.

If she's being abused call CPS. If her parents tell her she can't live with you or anyone else, then she can't. Until she's 18, she follows their rules.

Tell your sister what's going on. Suggest family counseling. That's about all you can do. Legally you have no stake in this.

 

[rogue0486]

If she's being abused call CPS. If her parents tell her she can't live with you or anyone else, then she can't. Until she's 18, she follows their rules.

Tell your sister what's going on. Suggest family counseling. That's about all you can do. Legally you have no stake in this.

but how do I do it in a discrete way, my niece came to me on confidence. She does not want me to tell her mother because it will be worse for her at home.

 

[army judge]

but how do I do it in a discrete way, my niece came to me on confidence. She does not want me to tell her mother because it will be worse for her at home.

Let her mother figure that out.
Ask the mother to not use your name.
My parents, as did I, could find out things in our own ways.

 

[rogue0486]

You have the ability to do two things.
You can report what you've learned to your sister.
Your sister, the child's mother, can then decide what to do about her family.

You can report the child scarring herself to your state's child services agency, and the state will investigate.

If I were you, I'd tell me sister and stay out of this.

Would you want your sister meddling in your life?

I can't tell my sister because, my niece came to me, and asked to please not tell her because things will get worse, if I betray her trust she'll never come to me again. as it is she bottles things up because her mother does not listen she gets crazy with her and does not let her express herself. How do I go about it in that manner betray her trust, then she's really not going to have anyone.

 

[leslie82]

but how do I do it in a discrete way, my niece came to me on confidence. She does not want me to tell her mother because it will be worse for her at home.

You figure it out. If it's that bad, you need to tell someone. So if you don't want to tell your sister because you think it will cause more abuse, then call CPS.

Honestly I would tell my sibling. If my niece or nephew got mad at me so be it. I don't even sit quiet when I think my brother is too hard on his stepson (he is sometimes). I'll call him out on it. He doesn't like it. But if I see something wrong with any of my siblings and their kids, I'm gonna say something. I would probably not be happy if one of them called me out on my daughter when she's older but if it was a valid statement, I'd take it as constructive criticism. I wouldn't let anyone else do that though.

If I thought my nieces or nephews were being abused in any way and harming themselves, I'm going to tell someone. I and my brothers were emotionally abused by our mother so if I see it I'll say something.

 

[leslie82]

I can't tell my sister because, my niece came to me, and asked to please not tell her because things will get worse, if I betray her trust she'll never come to me again. as it is she bottles things up because her mother does not listen she gets crazy with her and does not let her express herself. How do I go about it in that manner betray her trust, then she's really not going to have anyone.

That's a risk you have to take. If you don't say anything what happens if the alleged abuse escalates? It's up to you. Legally though you have no say in this.

 

[army judge]

I can't tell my sister because, my niece came to me, and asked to please not tell her because things will get worse, if I betray her trust she'll never come to me again. as it is she bottles things up because her mother does not listen she gets crazy with her and does not let her express herself. How do I go about it in that manner betray her trust, then she's really not going to have anyone.

What happens if your niece takes it too far, and bleeds to death one night in her bed alone?