Getting stationed overseas and ex isn't too happy

[Jme0816]

Hello all!

My husband and I recently found out we are getting stationed overseas for 2 years! My ex, whom I was never married, isn't too happy about it. He says he is ok with it as long as he gets to see our daughter. However, he did ask me if I would be ok with her staying here with him. I'm not because he doesn't see her often anyway and he doesn't have his own house. He is a single soldier in the National Guard and is currently living in the barracks where is he stationed. He says he is going to rent a house soon with one of his friends, but that is still not a permanent, stable environment. Not to mention he is deploying in 2012, which knowing the Army, could easily change. Would this have any effect on him getting custody of her? She is three years old, almost four. I don't mind if he gets visitation for a few months at a time, but that will get costly. It is so expensive to fly from the states to Germany, and vice versa. I really want her to be in a stable environment and would like for her to go to school where I live. If anybody could help, or has been in this situation, please help! I really don't want to lose my daughter to someone who hasn't been a dad the last three years of her life only because my husband got orders to get stationed overseas.

 

[army judge]

Do you have a custody order in effect?

What does it say about where the child can live?

You can go anywhere, but can the child?

You also need to know that you'll need dad's permission before your daughter can leave the USA.

Without dad's permission, your daughter will never leave the borders of the USA.

 

[Proserpina]

Mom, in addition to what AJ has said, you should be prepared to absorb the cost of ALL transportation costs when kiddo visits Dad.

Offer a good long-distance parenting plan, including web-cam visits/skype and long periods in the summer.

(He doesn't have to exercise such a plan, but it will show that you're willing and at least trying to facilitate their relationship and that is absolutely critical in court).

Military moves are approved far more often than most types - but there's no guarantee the court will actually do so.

Be prepared, and get your ducks in a row.

Whatever you do - don't leave before you have permission!