Guardianship / Custody

[MorgansDaddy]

My wife and I have been asked by my mother to take custody of my nephew. My sister, and his father, gave her full legal and physical custody about four or five years ago. Since she wants to give custody to us that part is uncontested. The complications are that we don't know if when we do the petition, we have to also petition the biological parents as well as my mother. Also, what if one of them do not agree? We're sorta hoping that they don't need to be involved because it just makes things more complicated, so that is why I am here, to find out the what ifs.

Thanks for any help you can provide.

 

[army judge]

You'll have to attempt this using the court system. However, children can't be gifted, deeded, or assigned like one does property.





You will likely need an attorney.
The best place to start is talk to one or two about your desire to adopt (or get custody).
The initial consultation is free. So, come prepared with lots of questions.







Some people try to do this without an attorney. If that's the route you want to take, bone up on custody law ( and/or adoptions) in your state.







It is possible to achieve this.



It is very often a lenghty and complicated process.

 

[MorgansDaddy]

Yes, we are hoping his mother agrees, but don't think that is likely (even though she doesn't have custody now), which is why we wish she didn't have to be involved since the change of custody is uncontested otherwise. I am having trouble finding a lawyer to speak to me for less than $300 for the initial consultation, and that is a lot of money to pay just to find out if she needs to be petitioned as well since she doesn't have custody, just "visitation as agreed" according to the current court order than my mother has.

 

[army judge]

One final afterthought.

If mom is ill or too infirm to care for the child, that helps you.
Be sure that mom provides a "good" reason to discontinue her custody. With older people; age, infirmity, or limited finances are all good reasons to offer as reasons to discontinue guardianship.




If the birth "mother" is yapping, you better believe she should be involved. In fact, if she's claiming she now wants the child back, this could get expensive.

 

[MorgansDaddy]

My mother and I have not informed his birth mother as of yet. Figured it was best to figure out if she had to be notified first. She will complain but I honestly do not know how much of a fight she will put up.

My mother is no longer able to physically or financially take care of him anymore, and neither can my sister for that matter, which is why we are willing to step in and help since we are in a position to do so.

I'm sure any lawyer that I would hire would point out that she gave custody up already and never attempted to get it back in any way, shape, or form, so why does she care now. And she doesn't pay a single penny for support and never has since my mother assumed custody.

 

[Proserpina]

Mom will definitely need to be involved. If the parents' choice of guardian/custodian can no longer look after the child/ren, custody reverts back to the parent/s. If they agree to you having custody then it's a non-issue (although it would still need to go through the court).

With regards to "any attorney...would point out that she gave custody up already and never attempted to get it back in any way, shape, or form, so why does she care now", an attorney who used that line of reasoning in court would likely tick off the judge pretty quickly. The parent could have made a decision in the best interest of the child, rather than "give up" the child. It's not always so black and white and it would not be wise to head down that route since the courts DO favor the rights of the parent and generally do not appreciate third party (which is what you and your wife would be) attempts to denigrate the parent.

 

[MorgansDaddy]

I agree, especially after just reading about 100 pages of Virginia statutes. I think the next, best, action is to talk to her and see what she says.

 

[Proserpina]

I agree, especially after just reading about 100 pages of Virginia statutes. I think the next, best, action is to talk to her and see what she says.

I think that's the logical and best choice, yep

Kudos to you, by the way, for stepping up and agreeing to take in another child (even if it doesn't happen). Not many people would do that!

 

[army judge]

I think that's the logical and best choice, yep

Kudos to you, by the way, for stepping up and agreeing to take in another child (even if it doesn't happen). Not many people would do that!

And, I'd like to add my compliments, too!

You're a wonderful son for acquiescing to mom's wishes.

You're also a special uncle.

I'll know you'll be a great dad to your nephew.

 

[MorgansDaddy]

Thanks to both of you!

It's not even a question on taking him in for my wife and I. He spent all of last summer with us and we sent him back with all new school clothes and supplies, and that is again the plan this summer no matter what happens with getting custody.

Unfortunately, since my mother and her ex-husband have separated, she has really struggled financially. Not to mention she has raised children all of her adult life so it would be great that she get to enjoy the rest of her years.

 

[MorgansDaddy]

Update:

His biological parents have consented to adoption (they'd rather give up rights and all responsibility). Even though it is agreed upon by all involved parties, my wife and I have hired a lawyer to handle the case. Mainly because the process is complicated even with them consenting and the fact that my wife and I reside in Ohio. Fortunately, Virginia allows close-relative adoptions when neither biological parent can financially support a child and consent to such adoption.

Last, for my nephew's best interest, he will be finishing the remainder of the school year in Virginia. As soon as the school year is over, the paperwork will be filed.

 

[army judge]

Very wise choices you're making. It shows that you're putting the best interests of the child first.