Can't I just formally let my ex spouse know that I'm moving w/ our 8yr old daughter since he violated our divorce decree by moving 130 miles away? We had joint phys custody but he offered me phys custody since he moved, but he doesn't want me to move - threatening that he would take me to court for full phys custody if I want to move. The decree states that "if either party moves 100 miles from Black Hawk County, that is an independent ground for an application to modify the Decree. There are some states that allow the parent to formally notify the the courts & other party about relocating, but I can't find where IA would allow the relocating parent to formally notify the court and the other party about a move. IA Code 598.21D states: "RELOCATION OF PARENT AS GROUNDS TO MODIFY...If a parent awarded joint legal custody and phys. care or sole legal custody is relocating the residence of the minor child to a location which is one hundred fifty miles or more from the residence...the court may consider the relocation a substantial change in circumstances.." So I typed up a notification letter, but I'm not sure exactly who I'm supposed to send it to.
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He moved, now shouldn't I be able to move?
- Thread Starter pulsar1
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army judge
Super Moderator
You are required to return to the court that has jurisdiction in that matter and petition the court to allow you to move.
That isn't an automatic action, and a mere letter will mean nothing.
In fact, the judge won't likely entertain the letter. If the judge were to read it, that would subject the court to ex parte communication.
So, off to court you go. He'll be served, and will be have an opportunity to defend your allegations.
By the way, he can no more give you custody, than you can give it to him. You have a child, not a goat, a cat, or a dog.
The court retains jurisdiction over the child and the custody proceedings. I suggets you seek legal advice in your county before you make some serious missteps.
shrinkmaster
Well-Known Member
How long ago did your EX move and what if anything did you do about that then?
He moved in June and wrote a proposal requesting that he would get her on the weekend during the school year & every other week in the summer. It's not official because we didn't sign it. After hiring another attorney & $500 later, it's like we're still at square 1. He keeps asking for more stuff. This attorney like many of the others I've dealt with is just there to pass information along.
mightymoose
Moderator
Signed or not it is useless. Only a visitation/custody order issued by the court would be enforceable. Don't waste any time entertaining proposals he sends you. Work that it in court, or meditation.
army judge
Super Moderator
You need a good lawyer. Courts have jurisdiction over all of us at various times in our lives.
We can only suggest you don't do something that could impact your ability to parent, love, and nurture your child.
Your lawful remedy lies in a court, not on some nothing agreement between you two. It's easier if you agree, but only the court can give your agreement life.
shrinkmaster
Well-Known Member
How are you wasting money if it has a purpose and goal? Do you think you can do this on your own?
Hi,
How could Black Hawk county have jurisdiction over our daughter if neither parent lived there? If I were to move out of state, how could Black Hawk county make me bring her back to where neither parent is at? Would they take her & put her in a foster home in Black Hawk County, even though she has 2 able parents? Or would they take her & give her to her dad who left Black Hawk county first?
How could Black Hawk county have jurisdiction over our daughter if neither parent lived there? If I were to move out of state, how could Black Hawk county make me bring her back to where neither parent is at? Would they take her & put her in a foster home in Black Hawk County, even though she has 2 able parents? Or would they take her & give her to her dad who left Black Hawk county first?
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