How much Trouble

[lawr13072]

Hello,
I have a relative who came home to California for our uncle's funeral with her two daughters. Yes, she has been trying to relocate back to Cally for a while with no luck because is has fought her on relocation, but she was here for the funeral and decided to stay a week or so, because her two teen daughters were on spring break. Her ex helped her arrange airline tickets to come and they only bought one way tickets because that is what she could afford at the time. He is behind 3K+ in his child support and she called him asking for some of the back child support so that she could purchase return ticket and he will not send it. She is not working right now and the child support is her primary income. His knowing this he had a detective call her saying that he has filed felony kidnapping charges on her and that he will pay for only the girls to return and they can just live with him from now on. That will not work because the two teens are very dependent on their mother and the oldest has had suicidal issues that stem from her Dad's verbal abuse. She hates even going for visitations but he threatens to have her mother arrested if she refuses. Minnisota seems like it is a man friendly state no matter what and i don't know what to say. But I think she is in big trouble in many ways. The first and foremost the mental health of her teen daught who is beautiful, already on meds, doing poorly in school, and seeing a counselor. She is so happy in Callie where she has cousins that love her and an excellent support system in place, but my counsin cannot get the courts to change anything. Please advise....

Minniapolis, MN
to San Diego, CA

 

[army judge]

I suggest you tell your relative to obey the law.

If she's violating the law and/or the custody order, she's making big trouble for herself.

She must fix her problems, or she could lose her kids!!!

 

[Proserpina]

Minnesota is a PARENTAL RIGHTS-friendly State.

That means it supports the legal rights of the parents to NOT have their children taken without permission to the other end of the country.

If your relative wants to relocate the children she MUST do it legally.

Otherwise she WILL lose them.

 

[lawr13072]

She did not TAKE the girls anywhere without his permission. In fact his sister who works for the airlines arranged for the tickets at his request and he knew her uncle who died from when he lived in SD. She trusted that he would live up to his court ordered child support and send her money that she could use to purchase her return ticket and instead she has received nothing except his lie. She brought their homework with them, why would she had bothered if she did not intend to return. WOW!!!I feel so sorry for her. I now see what she is up against with someone acting like she is doing something illegal when she has done everything she knew how to follow the law even to the detriment of her and her daughters happiness.

 

[lawr13072]

She has lived in the state for years even after the end of her marriage because he talked her into moving there for a short time (his grandmother was dying and died within a year) that is ending up becoming until her girls are grown (it will be approx. 13 years with 5 more to go). Like I said I feel so sorry for her living in that cold state and having to put up with cold people (including relatives on their father's side) that do not seem to care that they are not only making my cousin miserable, but the girls who would much rather live where their aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents treat them like the treasured relatives that they are. So sad!!!! Like I said, I see whos interest the law is protecting. WOW!!!

 

[lawr13072]

She has definite plans to attempt to fix her problem, but she has to get back home 1st and she plan to try to appeal to the courts again. I hope she is successful because I am really afraid for her oldest daughter who is only 14 mental health and if they try to seperate them there will not be a good outcome. We love them all and only hope for the best. In retrospect she probably shouldn't have come for the funeral, but it is too late now. Many of us have helped with some of her expenses since she haven't recieved her support and there is a problem with her workman comp. which she was receiving, but during tax season we can't afford airline tickets. We know that she has to follow the law that is why she is anxious to get back to resolve this, it would help if he pays what he owes, we'll see how everything plays out. I am praying for her.

 

[Proserpina]

Are you done venting?

That's good. It helps get the anger out of the way - because anger so very easily clouds our vision and our common sense.

Do you see why you got the responses you did?

You implied (not us - but you) that your relative wanted to stay in California and not return the children to Minnesota, in other words, relocate without Dad's consent.

You said (not us - but you) that your relative came to California for a funeral - and THEN decided to stay for a week. Dad apparently wasn't on board with that idea.

We can only go by what you tell us!

(By the way - I lived in ND for years. Those "cold" States tend to be very warm to parents of either gender - as long as they do things by the book)