SEspider
New Member
- Jurisdiction
- North Carolina
Before I begin, please allow me to apologize if I've asking this in the wrong thread.
I feel this is a pretty unique situation and I have absolutely no idea which thread it would be long in.
Back in late 2014, I moved in with my parents to help look after them and perform any tasks they may need. This was due to my father having another heart attack and knowing my mother does not have the energy, or strength to take on needed tasks. And I've been sleeping in what can best be described as a 7'x7' closet, that has aided in bringing on back, neck, and knee pains. And in turn, helping my parents have become a physical burden to which I did not expect. For the last six years, I've been sleeping in this "room", of my parents' trailer, doing my best to help my parents with any needs they have. This, of course, includes trailer and yard work, helping with the maintaining of their vehicles (when I can), tending to their dogs (I'll get more into this later), and their physical needs. While I've been here, my father has had two heart attacks, one of which also started his seizures, my Mother has had her first heart attack, and they were both in a near fatal car accident that permanently scared my Mother's skull/face, damaged her ribs and arm, and permanently damaged my Father's left shoulder. While I was here, one of my Father's heart attacks led to him briefly dying in my arms, until the paramedics arrived about 5 minutes later. And my Mother's heart attack lead to her dying in my arms for a solid 8 minutes. They are both on oodles of medicine that I have to help keep track of and make sure they take. I spend very little time sleeping. It seems, when I do, my Dad has either another heart attack, or seizure. when either of them sleep, which is a lot, I keep a very watchful eye on them both. As they both have odd breathing patterns, where they seem to randomly hold their breaths. Hearing them snore has become the most beautiful sounds I'll ever hear. Especially since they both also suffer from depression and anxiety.
Before I moved in with them, I lived with my frail Grandfather, to aid him and my Grandmother. They both separated before I was born but lived in the same small town. I was only there about 9 months. During which I witnessed my Granddad cough up a lung. Easily a full pint of blood. This is when we learned his Farmer's Lung had turned to cancer. exactly one week after this, I went to take my Grandmother to the grocery store. Only to find her face down in a large pool of blood. She had attempted to move a small basket, it seemed to have slipped and she fell face first onto her apartment's concrete floor. Naturally, I freaked out hard. Before the paramedics arrived, fully expecting her to be dead due to my not locating a pulse, she snored and my panic ceased. She was eventually moved to a rehab center 2 hours away where her Alzheimers has only worsen. My grandfather's Dementia worsened as well. To the point he was getting very violent. Swinging his cane at me for minor things, like not placing the loaf of bread exactly where it originally was. He even called the police on me once, because I hit him in his dream! He finally realized it was a dream and did not press charges. The fact his body had no bruises, or cuts, made it clear it was a dream. With that and the PTSD of finding my Grandmother still fresh, I moved in with my parents the next morning. I hated leaving him like that, but I clearly could not help him with the way he was acting, and my stress already skyrocketing. But I left on good terms with him. And my Uncle took on my duties of keeping an eye on him, but without moving in. Grandpa was shortly admitted to the hospital for surgery on his lungs. but it was too late, The cancer had spread too fast and he left this plain mid 2015.
I understand I got a bit long winded. But I did so to help put in everyone's minds my situation, my stress, and the stress and medical issues of my parents. You see, I'm the oldest of three kids. I've always taken on needed responsibilities and did my best to help where and when I can. But I have never attempted to meddle in my parents' finances, nor ask for anything in return. But over the last six years, I've learned that my sister has been stealing from our parents. When they are hospitalized, she immediately gets their wallets and cards. She mostly uses it to steal from them electronically. Which is easy since they foolishly continue to keep the same pin numbers and passwords. Although she has been caught on cameras, ATM cameras, and witnesses, to be doing the stealing, both of my parents refuse to press charges. She has stolen a estimated $12K over the last 6 years alone. And that does not include what she guilt them into giving her. All she has to do is start crying and they will help. Sometimes it takes a few days of begging and crying, but they ALWAYS give in. Even after knowing she's lying. She also happens to be the youngest of us and thus spoiled her entire life.
On April 26th, 2020, My Father had another massive Seizure. This time he fell and hit his head on a large bedpost. Blessfully, I was home to help. I ended up having to support his 250+ pound weight on my bad knee and then help left him outside to the ambulance gurney. Because of the little space in the trailer, I took on most of his weight and it nearly gave me a heart attack. Because of the pandemic, we were not allowed to go with him to the hospital, nor visit. Due to his seizures, they were forced to put him in a coma for nearly two weeks. That first Sunday (the day he was admitted), my Mom realized he had his wallet with him and thus the bank card. The hospital confirmed. Bills were not due until the following week. And so my Mom thought it best to let the hospital keep it safe until Friday. Friday morning, my mom signs into their account to tally up what needs to be paid and when. That is when she discovered the bank card had been used all week. Whacking up almost $800 in charges. the first two of which were back to back at the hospital's lobby ATM. $100 and $200. And majority of the others were two a Cash App account. One one my sister-in-law's first name (My sister is gay by the way), and then under my mom's first name. And she does not use Cash App at all. It became obvious very quickly that my sister had been using Cash App to steal from our parents' account. But how without the card?
Mom immediately sent me to the hospital to retrieve Dad's wallets and belongings. She would call ahead to inform them. And while was there, I would put in a request for that Monday's lobby security, for when the card was used there. Upon speaking to my Dad's head doctor, I learned that my sister had picked up the wallet late Sunday, after Dad was admitted. I was shown the paperwork where they state what Dad had on him upon being admitted, the contents of his wallets, etc. As well as who picked up the wallets, the time, location it was handed over, who handed it over, and the family password used to confirm authority of family. I stood there speechless and staring off in space. I could not believe that the first thought my sister had, upon learning my our Dad's hospitalization, was "Can I steal his wallet?" The doctor had to snap me out of it. She was clearly concerned with my sudden inaction. I told her someone had been stealing from Dad's account, with his card. And she immediately put two and two together. And insured they will do whatever they can to help.
Fuming with anger, I called Mom to let her know, and as soon as she answered, she already knew. And that my sister claimed she didn't pick it up until that Thursday. I told Mom what the Doctor said and of the records. I could hear her heart drop. She went silent for too long and assured me she was fine. I told her to call my sister and to have Dad's belongings ready. To hand them to me and that I would not be saying a word to her. That I would be taking Dad's belongings and leave. Which is exactly what I did. I didn't even bother looking up at her. Just held out my hand and looked at the ground. I did not want to see her face. But she only handed me the wallet, with a $20 bill missing from it. I immediately left and called Mom to let her know I was on my way home with the wallet. I got home only to end up being yelled at by Mom because my sister lied to her, again. Claiming I yelled at her and told her that Dad was in the hospital because of her. Which I never said, nor did.
Dad is back home and has canceled the card. No idea is he'll get their money back. But both he and Mom continue to act as if my sister did not do anything wrong. She has them wrapped around her finger so tight that she even used part of the stolen money to have a dozen roses delivered to mom on Mother's Day! While I am now paying all of their bills with every penny I was saving ($650).
My question is this:
What can I do to keep my sister away from our parents? What can I legally do to protect their finances? After all she has done to them, their ignoring it is clear evidence (to me), that their mental health is shot or something. They do not seem capable of maintaining their finances, or of putting my sister in her place. They continue to let her know of their finances. They continue to pay for her car insurance, although she refuses to pay a ticket that is screwing up Mom's division record. My sister's car is in our Mom's name. Knowing she is a thief that does not care for their well being, they continue to talk to her and allow her into the trailer. All while ignoring my half sister due to a clear lie my sister continues to give. By 'ignoring' I mean they will not have anything to do with her. Even though she does everything she can to get back in their hearts. I am at a lost of what to do. I have to do something to protect them. But my hands seem hog tied behind my back. My sister's action is slowly killing our parents.
In case it's important; my parents do not own the trailer we're living in. A poor sap in Texas does. When my parents and sister briefly moved to Texas, my sister manipulated a lonely, but well off, guy into believing she cared for him. So much so he helped them move back to NC, bought a the trailer, and put it partly in my sister's name. As soon as she did this, she gave him the shove off, broke his heart, and basically stole a lot of his funds via manipulation. So, since my sister's name is on the deed to the trailer, I am assuming I can't place a restraining order of any kind against her.
Please Help!
Please note: I may be slow to respond to feedback.
I feel this is a pretty unique situation and I have absolutely no idea which thread it would be long in.
Back in late 2014, I moved in with my parents to help look after them and perform any tasks they may need. This was due to my father having another heart attack and knowing my mother does not have the energy, or strength to take on needed tasks. And I've been sleeping in what can best be described as a 7'x7' closet, that has aided in bringing on back, neck, and knee pains. And in turn, helping my parents have become a physical burden to which I did not expect. For the last six years, I've been sleeping in this "room", of my parents' trailer, doing my best to help my parents with any needs they have. This, of course, includes trailer and yard work, helping with the maintaining of their vehicles (when I can), tending to their dogs (I'll get more into this later), and their physical needs. While I've been here, my father has had two heart attacks, one of which also started his seizures, my Mother has had her first heart attack, and they were both in a near fatal car accident that permanently scared my Mother's skull/face, damaged her ribs and arm, and permanently damaged my Father's left shoulder. While I was here, one of my Father's heart attacks led to him briefly dying in my arms, until the paramedics arrived about 5 minutes later. And my Mother's heart attack lead to her dying in my arms for a solid 8 minutes. They are both on oodles of medicine that I have to help keep track of and make sure they take. I spend very little time sleeping. It seems, when I do, my Dad has either another heart attack, or seizure. when either of them sleep, which is a lot, I keep a very watchful eye on them both. As they both have odd breathing patterns, where they seem to randomly hold their breaths. Hearing them snore has become the most beautiful sounds I'll ever hear. Especially since they both also suffer from depression and anxiety.
Before I moved in with them, I lived with my frail Grandfather, to aid him and my Grandmother. They both separated before I was born but lived in the same small town. I was only there about 9 months. During which I witnessed my Granddad cough up a lung. Easily a full pint of blood. This is when we learned his Farmer's Lung had turned to cancer. exactly one week after this, I went to take my Grandmother to the grocery store. Only to find her face down in a large pool of blood. She had attempted to move a small basket, it seemed to have slipped and she fell face first onto her apartment's concrete floor. Naturally, I freaked out hard. Before the paramedics arrived, fully expecting her to be dead due to my not locating a pulse, she snored and my panic ceased. She was eventually moved to a rehab center 2 hours away where her Alzheimers has only worsen. My grandfather's Dementia worsened as well. To the point he was getting very violent. Swinging his cane at me for minor things, like not placing the loaf of bread exactly where it originally was. He even called the police on me once, because I hit him in his dream! He finally realized it was a dream and did not press charges. The fact his body had no bruises, or cuts, made it clear it was a dream. With that and the PTSD of finding my Grandmother still fresh, I moved in with my parents the next morning. I hated leaving him like that, but I clearly could not help him with the way he was acting, and my stress already skyrocketing. But I left on good terms with him. And my Uncle took on my duties of keeping an eye on him, but without moving in. Grandpa was shortly admitted to the hospital for surgery on his lungs. but it was too late, The cancer had spread too fast and he left this plain mid 2015.
I understand I got a bit long winded. But I did so to help put in everyone's minds my situation, my stress, and the stress and medical issues of my parents. You see, I'm the oldest of three kids. I've always taken on needed responsibilities and did my best to help where and when I can. But I have never attempted to meddle in my parents' finances, nor ask for anything in return. But over the last six years, I've learned that my sister has been stealing from our parents. When they are hospitalized, she immediately gets their wallets and cards. She mostly uses it to steal from them electronically. Which is easy since they foolishly continue to keep the same pin numbers and passwords. Although she has been caught on cameras, ATM cameras, and witnesses, to be doing the stealing, both of my parents refuse to press charges. She has stolen a estimated $12K over the last 6 years alone. And that does not include what she guilt them into giving her. All she has to do is start crying and they will help. Sometimes it takes a few days of begging and crying, but they ALWAYS give in. Even after knowing she's lying. She also happens to be the youngest of us and thus spoiled her entire life.
On April 26th, 2020, My Father had another massive Seizure. This time he fell and hit his head on a large bedpost. Blessfully, I was home to help. I ended up having to support his 250+ pound weight on my bad knee and then help left him outside to the ambulance gurney. Because of the little space in the trailer, I took on most of his weight and it nearly gave me a heart attack. Because of the pandemic, we were not allowed to go with him to the hospital, nor visit. Due to his seizures, they were forced to put him in a coma for nearly two weeks. That first Sunday (the day he was admitted), my Mom realized he had his wallet with him and thus the bank card. The hospital confirmed. Bills were not due until the following week. And so my Mom thought it best to let the hospital keep it safe until Friday. Friday morning, my mom signs into their account to tally up what needs to be paid and when. That is when she discovered the bank card had been used all week. Whacking up almost $800 in charges. the first two of which were back to back at the hospital's lobby ATM. $100 and $200. And majority of the others were two a Cash App account. One one my sister-in-law's first name (My sister is gay by the way), and then under my mom's first name. And she does not use Cash App at all. It became obvious very quickly that my sister had been using Cash App to steal from our parents' account. But how without the card?
Mom immediately sent me to the hospital to retrieve Dad's wallets and belongings. She would call ahead to inform them. And while was there, I would put in a request for that Monday's lobby security, for when the card was used there. Upon speaking to my Dad's head doctor, I learned that my sister had picked up the wallet late Sunday, after Dad was admitted. I was shown the paperwork where they state what Dad had on him upon being admitted, the contents of his wallets, etc. As well as who picked up the wallets, the time, location it was handed over, who handed it over, and the family password used to confirm authority of family. I stood there speechless and staring off in space. I could not believe that the first thought my sister had, upon learning my our Dad's hospitalization, was "Can I steal his wallet?" The doctor had to snap me out of it. She was clearly concerned with my sudden inaction. I told her someone had been stealing from Dad's account, with his card. And she immediately put two and two together. And insured they will do whatever they can to help.
Fuming with anger, I called Mom to let her know, and as soon as she answered, she already knew. And that my sister claimed she didn't pick it up until that Thursday. I told Mom what the Doctor said and of the records. I could hear her heart drop. She went silent for too long and assured me she was fine. I told her to call my sister and to have Dad's belongings ready. To hand them to me and that I would not be saying a word to her. That I would be taking Dad's belongings and leave. Which is exactly what I did. I didn't even bother looking up at her. Just held out my hand and looked at the ground. I did not want to see her face. But she only handed me the wallet, with a $20 bill missing from it. I immediately left and called Mom to let her know I was on my way home with the wallet. I got home only to end up being yelled at by Mom because my sister lied to her, again. Claiming I yelled at her and told her that Dad was in the hospital because of her. Which I never said, nor did.
Dad is back home and has canceled the card. No idea is he'll get their money back. But both he and Mom continue to act as if my sister did not do anything wrong. She has them wrapped around her finger so tight that she even used part of the stolen money to have a dozen roses delivered to mom on Mother's Day! While I am now paying all of their bills with every penny I was saving ($650).
My question is this:
What can I do to keep my sister away from our parents? What can I legally do to protect their finances? After all she has done to them, their ignoring it is clear evidence (to me), that their mental health is shot or something. They do not seem capable of maintaining their finances, or of putting my sister in her place. They continue to let her know of their finances. They continue to pay for her car insurance, although she refuses to pay a ticket that is screwing up Mom's division record. My sister's car is in our Mom's name. Knowing she is a thief that does not care for their well being, they continue to talk to her and allow her into the trailer. All while ignoring my half sister due to a clear lie my sister continues to give. By 'ignoring' I mean they will not have anything to do with her. Even though she does everything she can to get back in their hearts. I am at a lost of what to do. I have to do something to protect them. But my hands seem hog tied behind my back. My sister's action is slowly killing our parents.
In case it's important; my parents do not own the trailer we're living in. A poor sap in Texas does. When my parents and sister briefly moved to Texas, my sister manipulated a lonely, but well off, guy into believing she cared for him. So much so he helped them move back to NC, bought a the trailer, and put it partly in my sister's name. As soon as she did this, she gave him the shove off, broke his heart, and basically stole a lot of his funds via manipulation. So, since my sister's name is on the deed to the trailer, I am assuming I can't place a restraining order of any kind against her.
Please Help!
Please note: I may be slow to respond to feedback.
