I pay cash w/no proof

[JerryD222]

OK, She was on birth-control pills, she left note on the table as she was going out the door saying that she thinks she's preg. and that she did it on purpose. My son will be 5 on new-years day. I have almost 19 yrs. sober. I have a good heart. I already raised my kids. My ex has (always) thought the grass looked greener on the other side. It drove me to get prof. help 3 times. She's very smart and a prof. con. She said that she wanted no money at the time, but now wants $100. a month. For a few yrs. now I have been giving her cash. She lives with her mom & dad. She has a job & goes to college. She does however want me to be in my sons life. My son & I love each other very much, I'm just not sure if I can handle it anymore. We both cry at times when I take him home. He's upset and wants to stay at daddy's house. Just last week I found out that she now has a boyfriend. Two part question: Can she say that I dont give her any money or help to C.S. or courts and collect back child support? And if we went in to a child support office to get me to pay only $100 a mo.,would they try to get more out of me if her and I agreed on $100 ? Thank you so much for your time, Jerry in Ohio

 

[Duranie]

Who actually has custody of the child here? Is there a custody order? Who does the child live with? If the child lives with youl you need to file for custody and stop giving her money.

I have no idea why she would agree to only 100.00/mo in support, but I suppose you both can agree to thisin courtm but if she is on any sort of government assistance, that agreement will not hold up and you will be forced to pay based on your guidelines in your state. \

Secondly, you need to file for a set visitation order if you havnent already. If you want custody, then file for it.

I am unclear by your post who has custody and who the child lives with more.

 

[JerryD222]

Who has custody? Well it seems like she does. I just call a day or two ahead and she lets me get him if they have no plans. There is no custody order. We have never been to court for any of this. However, she is sneaky and I need to learn how to protect myself from her.

 

[Duranie]

Ok then time file for custody or a vistation order. Unless thee is one in place she can play her games.

 

[Scooterdog]

Just last week I found out that she now has a boyfriend. Two part question: Can she say that I dont give her any money or help to C.S. or courts and collect back child support? And if we went in to a child support office to get me to pay only $100 a mo.,would they try to get more out of me if her and I agreed on $100 ? Thank you so much for your time, Jerry in Ohio

If she has a bf living with her, you can get custody.

Yes, she can say you don't give her money. Perhaps you should give her money orders? Atleast you'd have some proof.

If you go the CS office, your problems will just be starting. Those people, if you can call them that, are on the mommy bandwagon from hell with no end in site! I promise you, if you go to those "people" you WILL pay more than $100/month.

You just need to keep records of everything! You will need proof when the time comes, and it sounds as though sooner or later things are going to get ugly. Document EVERYTHING, make notes of converstations, write down the day and time. If you have a witness to a conversation, draw up an affidavit and have them sign and get it noterized. This will help you in the long run. It may just help you to get primary custody, if it comes down to that.