In-Laws will not let Mother have her Children

[italia1978]

Hello, My step-daughter is married with two children under age three. Her husband is a drug abuser and will not work to support his family. My step-daughter has been going to school working towards her nursing degree and working all the hours she can to support them all. He has been physically and mentally abusive to her and she continues to go back to him. They have now been separated for two weeks. She still continues to work and go to school. He will not leave the place they are renting and making her live with her family and friends along with the children. She has been letting his grandparents keep the children while she works and goes to school because he is not fit to take care of them obviously. During all of this the grandparents have decided to try to take custody of the children. This has been schemed all along without her knowing. She tries to pick them up last night and they would not let her take them because they were asleep. She suspects something is not right with her husband being there (the grandparents supposedly turned their backs on him) and her own sister and sister's husband was there too. She calls the police and they could not do anything because the father was there telling them that he did not want them to go since they were settled in. Her sister (my other step-daughter) has been telling lies on her to these grandparents trying to help them gain custody. I am not sure what is in it for her other than a way for her and her husband to freeload off of these people. It is a really twisted situation. None of them have jobs and the grandparents are retired with lots of money. She is the only one trying to do something with her life and make a way for those children. The reason the grandparents have babysitted them all along was because she could not afford daycare and the is a waiting list for government assistance. She has trusted these people and the whole time have been working against her. She tries to get help getting them today and still can't do anything supposedly because the father is there and refuses to let her take them. It is all a big game to them and it is absolutely killing my step-daugter. Those are her babies! She is only 18 and doing the best she can right now. What are her rights? She is trying to find an attorney right now but is there anything she can do to get those kids from these people today?
Thanks!

 

[army judge]

Hello, My step-daughter is married with two children under age three. Her husband is a drug abuser and will not work to support his family. My step-daughter has been going to school working towards her nursing degree and working all the hours she can to support them all. He has been physically and mentally abusive to her and she continues to go back to him. They have now been separated for two weeks. She still continues to work and go to school. He will not leave the place they are renting and making her live with her family and friends along with the children. She has been letting his grandparents keep the children while she works and goes to school because he is not fit to take care of them obviously. During all of this the grandparents have decided to try to take custody of the children. This has been schemed all along without her knowing. She tries to pick them up last night and they would not let her take them because they were asleep. She suspects something is not right with her husband being there (the grandparents supposedly turned their backs on him) and her own sister and sister's husband was there too. She calls the police and they could not do anything because the father was there telling them that he did not want them to go since they were settled in. Her sister (my other step-daughter) has been telling lies on her to these grandparents trying to help them gain custody. I am not sure what is in it for her other than a way for her and her husband to freeload off of these people. It is a really twisted situation. None of them have jobs and the grandparents are retired with lots of money. She is the only one trying to do something with her life and make a way for those children. The reason the grandparents have babysitted them all along was because she could not afford daycare and the is a waiting list for government assistance. She has trusted these people and the whole time have been working against her. She tries to get help getting them today and still can't do anything supposedly because the father is there and refuses to let her take them. It is all a big game to them and it is absolutely killing my step-daugter. Those are her babies! She is only 18 and doing the best she can right now. What are her rights? She is trying to find an attorney right now but is there anything she can do to get those kids from these people today?
Thanks!

I need to ask you a few questions, before I can properly answer you.

I hope you don't take them to be intrusive, they are not meant to be so.

I need them to provide you with a proper legal answer(s).

You say, HE is HER husband.

You say she is 18 years old, with two young children.

Is HE that father of BOTH children?

How old is HE?

How long have they been married?

Were they married when the first child was conceived?

Has HE had a DNA test done to establish paternity, IF they were not married when the chil(ren) were conceived?

Depending on what your answers are, she won't get the children back today; if they aren't willing to release them to her.

By the way, IF he is the lawfully WEDDED husband (and other conditions are in ordere), they aren't her children.

The children are considered THEIR children.

I will tell you, the standard to be a parent is much lower than what 7-11 requires to be a clerk.

Parents are NOT required to be drug tested or have any integrity.

The standard for being a parent in this country is very low.

The AKC has higher standards for dogs, than we do for people.

Humans just lay down and breed.

That is sad and sickening.

So, don't pin your hopes on her getting the children, because DAD possess bad character, is ignorant, uses drugs, is lazy, fails to financially support them, or is abusive to her.

She picked him to inseminate her, twice. (If he is the father of both children.)

This is how courts generally look at these situations.

But, I'll await your responses, before providing better answers.

 

[italia1978]

I need to ask you a few questions, before I can properly answer you.
I hope you don't take them to be intrusive, they are not meant to be so.


I need them to provide you with a proper legal answer(s).

You say, HE is HER husband.

You say she is 18 years old, with two young children.

Is HE that father of BOTH children?
Yes, he is the biological father of both children. It has also been verified a DNA test. So there is no question there.

How old is HE?
He is around 22 or 23. This is something we did not condoned by the way.

How long have they been married?
They have been married for 6 months or less.

Were they married when the first child was conceived?
No, they were not married when either child was conceived.

Has HE had a DNA test done to establish paternity, IF they were not married when the chil(ren) were conceived?
Yes, this has been done because he tried to say it was not so that he wouldn't have to take responsibility.

Depending on what your answers are, she won't get the children back today; if they aren't willing to release them to her.

By the way, IF he is the lawfully WEDDED husband (and other conditions are in ordere), they aren't her children.

The children are considered THEIR children.

I will tell you, the standard to be a parent is much lower than what 7-11 requires to be a clerk.

Parents are usually required to be drug tested or have integrity.

So, don't pin your hopes on her getting the children, because DAD possess bad character, is ignorant, uses drugs, is lazy, fails to financially support them, or is abusive to her.

She picked him to inseminate her, twice. (If he is the father of both children.)
I fully agree with this comment and her father and I have said this to her every time they had an issue. However, it has happened and now we just have to make the best of the situation.

This is how courts generally look at these situations.

But, I'll await your responses, before providing better answers.

 

[irish223]

A couple more questions....

Were the DNA tests court ordered? Or, were they part of a child support action by the court or the Child Support Agency? Did the father ever have a visitation order?

 

[army judge]

Thanks for your answers.

I'm not making value judgments, just telling you how the court MIGHT respond.

He has a legal to right to the children.

Neither parents righst are superior to the other, as they are NOW legally married.

I suspect this "child molester" married her six months ago, to carry through with this current plan.

The time to have acted was when this ADULT PERVERT was molesting and sexually cavorting with that poor child.

That ship has long ago sailed.

They are now, LEGALLY husband and wife.

He can hold the kids with him, until she goes to court and gets a court order.

That order will only be issued (under the current situation), if she files a divorce action.

IT MIGHT NOT EVEN BE ISSUED THEN.

BUT, YOU (SHE) CAN TRY.

Without her filing a divorce action, those children will be held hostage in his custody.

You and her have some serious talking to do.

This MIGHT make it easier to talk with her.

I would also schedule an appointment with a local family law attorney.

All of you can ask whatever questions you desire during that meeting.

That is the best way to proceed, in my humble opinion.

Of course, the decision to seek a divorce is hers, and hers alone!

But, if that bum does what you say he does, she should have been gone long ago.

I'm sure, you as good parents, never wanted this situation to ever happen in the first place.

Be advised, this situation won't be resolved in a matter of days, even if she goes to court.

Please, talk with her, and get that appointment with a family law attorney.

Together, you folks can come to a solution that you all support.

No matter what happens, things like this continue to break my heart.

I hope this can be fixed.

 

[italia1978]

Well said! Thank you. He is scum and it has taken everything for my husband to not kill this guy. We are both respectable people with decent careers and he does not want to lose everything to go to jail over this piece of garbage. Also, she just heard from a mutual friend that he is planning to take these kids to AZ which is where he is originally from. We are in NC in case you didn't notice. This is going to get even messier it seems. My other step-daughter (her sister) which is in on this is very upset with us right now because we are not supporting their decisions. If by miracle I can get her to come talk to me tonight about this and coax her into getting those children away from there to get them to their mother or possibly even us can anything bad come from that? I don't want to make the situation worse but if this is something that will not get anyone into trouble legally I would be willing to give it a try. I really don't think her sister realizes what she is causing here. I think these grandparents are using her to get dirt on the mother for their case. Once they get whatever they need or their scheme falls through they will kick her to the curb. Nothing will then be accomplished but a damaged sibling relationship and the children being pulled from one side to the other.

 

[army judge]

Well said! Thank you. He is scum and it has taken everything for my husband to not kill this guy. We are both respectable people with decent careers and he does not want to lose everything to go to jail over this piece of garbage. Also, she just heard from a mutual friend that he is planning to take these kids to AZ which is where he is originally from. We are in NC in case you didn't notice. This is going to get even messier it seems. My other step-daughter (her sister) which is in on this is very upset with us right now because we are not supporting their decisions. If by miracle I can get her to come talk to me tonight about this and coax her into getting those children away from there to get them to their mother or possibly even us can anything bad come from that? I don't want to make the situation worse but if this is something that will not get anyone into trouble legally I would be willing to give it a try. I really don't think her sister realizes what she is causing here. I think these grandparents are using her to get dirt on the mother for their case. Once they get whatever they need or their scheme falls through they will kick her to the curb. Nothing will then be accomplished but a damaged sibling relationship and the children being pulled from one side to the other.

Sure, your scheme might work.

But, these creatures don't seem to be as civilized as you and your family.

Isn't it amazing how these perverts can infect the lives of decent people?

If you get the kids in your possession, you run the risk of these savages physically invading your home.

The BEST way to address this is in the court.

To do that, you have to strike quickly to prevent this CHILD MOLESTER from taking those babies out of state and across the country.

But, creatures like this are usually broke.

That works in your favor.

I suggest you tell the other daughter NOTHING about what you might do.

It might be better to feed her BAD information.

Make her your shill.

You might say stuff like you just don't know what to do, now that he has the kids.

But, don't let them know you are planning a legal assault.

In fact, you might want to line the lawyer up today.

Then you and dad work on "mom" tonight.

She has to start this now, or else.

Trying to get those kids back from AZ will be very hard and very expensive.

 

[italia1978]

In response to Irish223:
No, I don't think anything has been court ordered. The DNA tests were done on their own. After he saw that these were his kids he decided to resume a relationship with her. When she was pregnant with the first, he ran and hid for a while. He simply did not want to take responsibility just like now. She was also under age and I am sure that played a part too. Now that she has left and he is taking her serious this time he all the sudden wants to be a father and try to take full custody. He is just plain sick and has manipulated my step-daughter in so many ways it will sicken you. Someone like this preys on younger girls and she is so influential she was a perfect target for him.

 

[army judge]

There might still be the criminal law remedies on your side in all of this.

NC has tough laws against statutory rape.

The babies, their ages, the DNA; all go to proving this pervert ravished and harmed that then, CHILD.

The local prosecutor might be interested in speaking with this creep.

Once the criminal law gets involved, certain individuals might not be so haughty.

This might be why he wants to slither off to AZ.

However, a sexual pervert and molester like this creep, might want to harm his own babies.

North Carolina Statutory Rape Laws​

Sex with a minor under the age of 13 is a first degree felony. Furthermore, if you had sex with a minor between 13-15 years of age, are not married to the individual, and are at least four years older, you can be charged with statutory rape and face serious felony criminal penalties.

* Statutory rape: Sex with a minor between the ages of 13-15 when there is at least a six year age gap can result in a Class B1 felony charge.
* Statutory rape: Sex with a minor between the ages of 13-15 when there is at least a four year age gap can result in a Class C felony charge.

 

[irish223]

In response to Irish223:
No, I don't think anything has been court ordered. The DNA tests were done on their own. After he saw that these were his kids he decided to resume a relationship with her. When she was pregnant with the first, he ran and hid for a while. He simply did not want to take responsibility just like now. She was also under age and I am sure that played a part too. Now that she has left and he is taking her serious this time he all the sudden wants to be a father and try to take full custody. He is just plain sick and has manipulated my step-daughter in so many ways it will sicken you. Someone like this preys on younger girls and she is so influential she was a perfect target for him.

If the DNA tests were done privately and he has not established his paternity via an Acknowledgement of Paternity form, then in most states, he is not legally the father of the older child.

Also, if the younger child was more than 6 months old when they married, he is not considered the legal father of that one either.

In both cases, if he signed the AOP or is on the birth certificate, then he is the legal father.

I'll check NC statutes if you know that he did not sign the AOP and/or is not on the birth certificates, and if they married after the younger one was 6 months old.


ETA: The importance of this information means that if he is not the LEGAL father, then he has no rights to the children, and your step-daughter can retrieve them whenever she wishes.

 

[richg1000]

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