Just can't pay

[jandr]

Hi -
A while back, I had excellent credit. In fact, my FICO score was close to 800. But then in 2006, my husband suddenly left me - he left me to go live with another woman. This happened suddenly - our marriage of ten years collapsed within a span of two weeks.

Within the two weeks, he filed for divorce (at the advice of his new girlfriend who has money and who paid for his legal fees). Because of this sudden event, I had to take out a loan, which was given to me without a problem, to pay for my legal fees. Even though at the time I had savings, I had to deplete them to continue to pay for the credit card debts that my ex husband left behind, plus my expensive rent (I live in Manhattan).

Thankfully, I was still able to afford to make minimum payments on the credit cards, and wait until the court decides how much of it my ex husband needs to pay. But that was back between 2006-2007. My ex agreed to pay for half of it, but when he found out how much was half, (15K) he tried to withdraw the divorce so that he wouldn't have to pay. Well needless to say, he still hasn't paid one dime, nor does he want to settle. He's been avoiding me like the plague.

While this is going on, all of these credit cards decided to cut my credit lines to just a little bit above what I owe, even though I've been making the mimimum monthly payments. This act caused the situation to look like I've overspent or maxed out on my credit cards, which clearly i did not do. In fact, I have not used these cards since my husband left me back in 2006. But the point is that all of these credit cards (despite the fact that I quickly closed a good portion of them) have mimumum payments of up to 250 dollars a month. I tried to negotiate with the banks but they don't seem to lower that monthly fee unless they "revoke" the account, or take some other harsh action.

So Im wondering what to do. My ex husband gets to live in luxury (he just bought himself a car with the help of his new girlfriend, and he lives in a 600K home) while I'm here stuck paying for his share of the debt. I don't even have 200 dollars in my checkings account as we speak.

I have court this Wednesday to continue this fight. Last time there was an issue with the way he was served. The time before that there was an issue with the fact he didn't show up. And the time before that, I had to dismiss my lawyer simply because I just can't afford to pay out 350 an hour. So now I'm pro se.

Is there any way that I can get the judge to get my ex to hurry up and pay for this mess, before I get more ruined than what I already am?? I need help, I just can't pay this anymore or live on 1 dollar burritos for dinner.

 

[Michael Wechsler]

I'm very sorry to hear your story. It pains me to hear about the bad acts people do... Manhattan rents are usually larger than mortgages of houses elsewhere.

What is it we an help you with? With regard to the credit card issue, are the cards jointly in your name and your ex husband? Your alone? Your best bet might be to send your ex written notice of how much delays in resolution will cost for which he'll bear additional responsibility, which would be ideal if they were joint. What has your attorney advised? Unfortunately, he/she is in the best position of all to give you advice on the situation, being aware of all the facts.

 

[rockettt]

I'm very sorry to hear your story. It pains me to hear about the bad acts people do... Manhattan rents are usually larger than mortgages of houses elsewhere.

What is it we an help you with? With regard to the credit card issue, are the cards jointly in your name and your ex husband? Your alone? Your best bet might be to send your ex written notice of how much delays in resolution will cost for which he'll bear additional responsibility, which would be ideal if they were joint. What has your attorney advised? Unfortunately, he/she is in the best position of all to give you advice on the situation, being aware of all the facts.

Thanks for your reply. Well, I'm concerned with everything quite frankly. The cards are in my name because my ex husband had horrendous credit so he used my information, which I didn't have a problem with at the time.

As for my attorney, well I'm pro se as I cannot afford one. I had an attorney at the very beginning of my divorce, but I had to let her go for obvious financial reasons. The attorney was able to get me divorced - and have my husband sign a stipulation where he claims that he owes me for half of the bills, but now we are debating exactly how much he owes. I prepared a spreadsheet and attached receipts, but he's denying that he made those purchases. I guess it's all up to the judge as my ex would prefer to go to trial over what was spent and what wasn't.

 

[Theresagail]

Looks like this all depends on what the judge will say over your ex paying some of this $$ back. Long story short if all of these cards are in your name you are SOL the credit card companies will not go after your ex if he is not on the account-- and even of the judge says he needs to pay X amount -- he may not really pay X amount and in the end you still are liable--- You may need to think about bankruptcy if you really can not afford the credit card bills. Relying on the ex to pay your legal obligation is a nightmare and almost always ends up going back and forth to court --

 

[rockettt]

Looks like this all depends on what the judge will say over your ex paying some of this $$ back. Long story short if all of these cards are in your name you are SOL the credit card companies will not go after your ex if he is not on the account-- and even of the judge says he needs to pay X amount -- he may not really pay X amount and in the end you still are liable--- You may need to think about bankruptcy if you really can not afford the credit card bills. Relying on the ex to pay your legal obligation is a nightmare and almost always ends up going back and forth to court --

Thanks for the reply. I refuse to file for bankruptcy unless it's for medical bills/reasons. One never knows what will happen in the future. What happens if I simply refuse to pay the credit cards? Thats the option I have to take - just let them charge them off. I calculated the amount I spent paying these cards, and so far, I spent over 37K since my ex husband left me. What's funny is that the balance is not even a third of that. Yet with a ridiculous rate of 29.99%, I'll never finish paying this off.

So I think of it this way: The heck with the credit cards, I'll rather save up for retirement and have a steak once in a while. I'm tired of being abused, and since most americans are in this predicament, oh well, let them deal with the masses of us. Maybe we should all have a credit card tea party? :nuts