Keeping boyfriend away from my child

[williamcollins]

Me and my ex girlfriend have a 5 year old son. When we split and I got my own apartment I told her he would be living with me. She wasn't around at all for about 5 months. I then finally filed for child support because its the fast and cheapest route in getting custody. At the mediation she did not show up. The attorney general said they would serve her the papers and she would have 20 days to respond and send back, that if she didn't respond then it would go in my favor. She told me she recieved the papers but she never responded. So I have custody of my son. Even though she does have visitations she did not come get him on her weekends or anything.

In the meantime she let me know she started seeing a new guy who was on probation and his name was "Jo". And then one weekend she called and wanted to take him for the weekend I said SURE let me meet this "Jo". A month went by and she did not come pick him up any more for her visitations. Then she called again and said she wanted to be in his life that she would start getting him on the 1st 3rd and 5th weekend. I asked her to please give me Jo's full name and address because thats where they would be staying on the weekend. She gave me the address and phone number but never a name. I let her take him. Finally I kept pushing the issue on who Jo was and WHY was he on probation? She is now living with him and that is who my son will be around when she has him. A week before christmas she finally gave me his full name and I ran a background check and found 15 things on this guy for Felony Possesion of drugs, DWI, and it stated he has been to jail a couple times. I let her know that my son will not be going to Jo's house anymore and if she wanted to see him she could come here or go to her dads. She said she wasnt doing that, it was too many problems I was causing she gave up. Then today she text me stating she will be picking my son up on her visitation with a sheriff and it DID NOT matter about Jo's record because its not RAPE or ASSULT.


So my question is do I have to give my son to her or can I say NO and just wait to go back to court because of this boyfriend?

 

[army judge]

Me and my ex girlfriend have a 5 year old son. When we split and I got my own apartment I told her he would be living with me. She wasn't around at all for about 5 months. I then finally filed for child support because its the fast and cheapest route in getting custody. At the mediation she did not show up. The attorney general said they would serve her the papers and she would have 20 days to respond and send back, that if she didn't respond then it would go in my favor. She told me she recieved the papers but she never responded. So I have custody of my son. Even though she does have visitations she did not come get him on her weekends or anything.

In the meantime she let me know she started seeing a new guy who was on probation and his name was "Jo". And then one weekend she called and wanted to take him for the weekend I said SURE let me meet this "Jo". A month went by and she did not come pick him up any more for her visitations. Then she called again and said she wanted to be in his life that she would start getting him on the 1st 3rd and 5th weekend. I asked her to please give me Jo's full name and address because thats where they would be staying on the weekend. She gave me the address and phone number but never a name. I let her take him. Finally I kept pushing the issue on who Jo was and WHY was he on probation? She is now living with him and that is who my son will be around when she has him. A week before christmas she finally gave me his full name and I ran a background check and found 15 things on this guy for Felony Possesion of drugs, DWI, and it stated he has been to jail a couple times. I let her know that my son will not be going to Jo's house anymore and if she wanted to see him she could come here or go to her dads. She said she wasnt doing that, it was too many problems I was causing she gave up. Then today she text me stating she will be picking my son up on her visitation with a sheriff and it DID NOT matter about Jo's record because its not RAPE or ASSULT.


So my question is do I have to give my son to her or can I say NO and just wait to go back to court because of this boyfriend?

You are required to OBEY the court orders.
If you fail to do so, you could be taken to court for contempt.
If she does this enough, you might jeopardize your custodial rights.
Yeah, I know, it sucks.
But, such are the laws in America.
There are no requirements to be parents and few protections until AFTER the child is harmed!
You could speak with an attorney.
It looks like you're gonna need one.
In the interim, obey the order.

Some people take pictures of the child before they transfer custody and pictures when they receive the child upon return.
Some people make the exchange in police stations with cops standing by to keep the peace.
I'm sure others will have things to say.
But, above all else, OBEY the order.

 

[Proserpina]

Unless you can prove that he is actually a risk to your son - and represents an imminent threat - you really must abide by the court order.

Unfortunately, proving such a thing can be very difficult unless he has convictions for sex crimes, serious drug crimes, violence, murder or assault against children (or similar). Believe it or not, a rapist who rapes an adult woman can actually go on to have custody of his own children (though not those of his victim, I hasten to add!) and may NOT be considered a risk to a child.

Quite often too, the convictions must be recent. For example, if he did time 15 years ago when he was 17, for sleeping with a 15 year old, it's not going to matter at all.

Is this truly in your son's best interest? Probably not, no. But, unfortunately, your ex is allowed to shack up with a loser ex-con without it damaging her visitation.

 

[mightymoose]

Also, though she is supposed to keep you informed of her address and contact information, she was under no obligation whatsoever to tell you the name of the man she is dating.

Yes, you must abide by the court ordered visitation agreement, HOWEVER, regardless of the order you NEVER have to allow your child to go if you have legitimate cause for concern for the safety of the child. Police may come and make a report, but they won't take your child from you. They will refer you back to the Family Court where you will have to answer to the judge for what you have done... so you better have a darn GOOD reason. If you don't then you are in deep doo.

What you describe here is not even close to that. You merely have speculation. From what you describe it sounds like you may want to ask the court to order supervised visitations.