Leaving State With Children

[laynag]

Hello. I currently live in Illinois with my husband, however I am looking to move back to Pennsylvania with my two daughters. My husband and I DO NOT want a divorce. The plan is for the girls and I to go back to PA and once he can get things wrapped up in IL he will move to PA with us.

My husband is slightly sneaky though... and 90% of the time the things he says to me is just "lip service." I am afraid that once the girls and I move, he is going to decide he doesn't want to move to Pennsylvania anymore and tell us to come back. The problem there is... I won't want to do that. He says this wouldn't be the case (but once again I can never be too sure of anything he says).

Basically I want to protect myself in case everything does not go as we are planning. We both SEEM to be on the same page right now, but I can't be certain it will remain that way. I've told him all of this and stated that just to protect myself I think I should get custody of the girls before I go and asked if that is something he'd be willing to do. He said yes.

From reading former posts and information on this site, I understand that I will need to go through the court system on this, but I do not want to hire an attorney. Since my husband and I are on the same page about everything (currently), is there a form we can fill out to protect myself in this move and make it happen? What can /should I do?

Any help is greatly appreciated.

 

[Proserpina]

There's really nothing legally binding that you could put together in this situation outside of the court system.

You COULD sign an agreement with Dad, get it all notarized and this could prove Dad's intent if in the future Dad decides to change his mind. However again it's not legally binding and Dad is allowed to change his mind.

 

[mightymoose]

If he changed his mind later you would be under no obligation to return to Illinois.
if he wanted to visit with the children then you could work out an agreement over that, but there is no reason whatsoever that would require you to move back.

You are not yet in a position where a custody order is necessary.

 

[Proserpina]

If Dad changes his mind before Mom has established residency in PA, he absolutely can ask the court to order the children returned to Illinois.

 

[army judge]

I bet Dad doesn't want the kids or mom. Mom is wise to distrust him.

Only God knows what is in Dad's evil heart. Mom has a past with Dad.

But, the good news is that Mom can take her children almost anywhere, without Dad's permission. Dad could do that, too.

I'll take a seasoned guess about this. Dad doesn't plan to go anywhere. He's gonna shack up with the sweet, young honey he's been messing around with. He's getting Mom and those pesky kids out of the way.

Mom didn't ask, but probably already knows the sad answer to her dilemma. Mom should file for a divorce before Dad double crosses her and those dear, sweet, darling kids, again!!!

 

[mightymoose]

If Dad changes his mind before Mom has established residency in PA, he absolutely can ask the court to order the children returned to Illinois.

A court order is much different than the husband simply demanding. Still, that is regarding child custody/visitation. She would not have to move back if she did not want to.

 

[Proserpina]

A court order is much different than the husband simply demanding. Still, that is regarding child custody/visitation. She would not have to move back if she did not want to.

I'm not going to sit and argue with you.

You made a statement that could easily be misinterpreted. I simply clarified it.

 

[army judge]

A court order is much different than the husband simply demanding. Still, that is regarding child custody/visitation. She would not have to move back if she did not want to.

You're correct!

SHE would not have to return.

But, such a court order would NOT direct her to return, it can't.

It COULD direct her to return the children!

That is what Proserpina is saying.

But, these creeps don't want their kids.

Why????

They don't want to pay child support.

When they do want their kids, most of them do it to AVOID paying child support to the woman or man they hate!!!!