Loaned Money to a now Ex-boyfriend...please give advice.

[coastiez]

In July 07, I got a loan ($4300) to pay off my then fiance's debt that he had occured prior to me so that when we finally settled down it would be paid off. We had agreed verbally that it would be a mutual loan that we would pay off together as we were together and would be getting married eventually. I had wired the money into his personal checking account and I find out a short while later that he used some of it for us (roughly $1000) and used the rest to work on his truck and the original debt was never paid off for him. In early Sept, we split because of infidelity on his part. We are both in the military and he was back overseas for his final 6 months. I had originally said not to worry about paying back on the loan because I knew that he would be having a hard time because he has child support to pay ect. In November, we started talking again and decided to try to get back together. At this time, he told me that he knew that he owed me still, felt bad that he hadn't been paying and would set up an allotment to pay me back the money. I told him again not to worry about it but that if he really wanted to I would give him the bank information just so that he could start contributing to paying it off. I sent him my bank information so that he could set up paying some into it because that is what he wanted to do. Obviously, we did not end up staying together in the long run because of his ways. He now says that he does not owe me any money and that it was all a gift and was used for "us". I told him I was willing to even knock it down to $2500 that he owed me. Do I have anything legally that I can do about this to get some of the money back? I have all the emails exchanged between us regarding paying back as well as the original wire transfer to his name/account. I am looking for some advice here because I'm at wits end. I know some of it is my own fault because I should have had something set up but I suppose I got tunnel vision and wasn't looking at the big picture of what if's. If I'm out of luck, then so be it and I have to take it as a major lesson learned. Thanks for any advice.

 

[sukmanchui]

I have similar situation just like you, but mine is even worst. He used me for money to help him to pursue his career. Now, he becomes a pilot and he married someone else. When I asked him my money back, he said he doesnt have money. I spent 10 years of my life and this is what I got?

It is ok that he is married, but he should pay me back for what he owes me.

 

[Gail_in_Georgia]

Coastiez

You can consider taking this fellow to court (typically Small Claims unless this amount exceeds the limitations allowed in your state) but it is quite likely the argument that this was a "gift" might be valid.

From your own admission your boyfriend offered several times to begin paying you back with your response being "don't worry about it".

On the other hand, filing against someone in Small Claims is typically not very expensive and since you do not need an attorney to represent you this would not be a great amount of money for you to do this.

Before I'd do this though, I'd send him another letter (certified, not email) indicating that you disagree with his contention that this was a gift and if restitution of the loan is not started by a certain date, you intend to file a lawsuit against him.

Gail