starling7725
New Member
I started a divorce action in 2000 against an abusive husband. He kept the divorce in court for two years with frivolous lawsuits. In Jan 2002, the case was given to a new judge when the original matrimontial judge went to another part of supreme court. This new judge wanted to clear his calendar so he told both attorneys that no one was leaving the court until some kind of settlement was on paper. My attorney sat me down in the hall for 5 minutes and asked me what I wanted. I was given no advice, had no time to think out what I wanted. Even though he was my attorney for two years, we had never sat down to discuss what I wanted in the way of a settlement because we were too busy in court everytime my ex filed one of his 15 frivolus motions. I wanted the house, long term maintenance and lifetime support for my developmentally disabled adult daughter. He did not even listen to me. He was more consumed with telling me what my ex was willing to give me. He then disappeared with my husband's attorney for 5 hours. I was unable to find him although I kept walking the halls of the courthouse looking for him. I never discussed anything with him. He appeared at 4PM with my ex's attorney, proclaimed "I'm done" proceeded into the courtroom, put me on the stand for an inquest and told me to answer yes to his questions. He rattled off a stipulation of settlement so quickly that I was unable to understand anything he said. Several weeks later I was horrified to see the actual settlement on paper. It gave me 7 years to stay in my house, 7 years maintenance and that a QDRO was to be prepared. To date, there is no QDRO, only 3 different drafts. It has never been finalized, or filed with th court. In one year I will have to sell my house, i will lose maintenance and be unable to pay rent or buy anything else without either maintenance or pension money. If the QDRO is not finalized by the time i have to sell my house, can i refuse to sell, or relinquish my claim to his pension in exchange for the house which are worth about the same. The house is in my name, my ex having taken his name off the deed in 1998---all done legally and with an attorney. I am sole owner of the house, but when I told my attorney he told me that it means nothing. It would have only been valid before 1980! I want to know if I can do back to court and swap the house for the pension. He is eligible to retire in 2008 at 62, but chances are he won't and the court cannot compel him to do so. Without a QDRO, is the settlement valid?
