Mom with criminal boyfriend

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amandajane32

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I have a 7 year old daughter whom lives with me half the week and her mother the other half.
Mom has a boyfriend whom she has been with for almost a year. Mom, the boyfriend and my daughter frequently sleep in hotels and at his house.

Come to find out he has a very extensive criminal background.
dating from 1994 to is most recent (a DWI) June this year.

He has been in jail in 1994 for grand larceny and in 2002 for violation of a protective order.

He has been arrested and charged with possession of marijuana in 2009.

A total of 8 felonies and 38 charges in our state alone.

He has a couple of violations of a protective order too.

To be honest he has no charges like rape, assault, battery etc.

I would never allow my daughter to date someone like this no mind be around a person of his caliper.
In a perfect world I would like to not have him around my daughter.

Do you think I can legally do that if I take action with the courts?
 
Caliper? Pretty sure that's not the word you mean.

Unless you can prove that he represents an actual threat to the child, you have nothing.

You see, the court trusts both parents to keep the child safe. And really, once your daughter reaches that magic age, she'll be able to date who the heck she wants and you'll have no say in the matter.
 
"Caliber"
Im pretty sure we know what I meant.

Also, forgot to mention mom has a not so good background with the courts including alcohol problems, poor choice of boyfriends, bad parenting and it has been noted by a GAL that she has one chance let. One more screw up and I am awarded full custody.

Wouldn't his background prove he is a threat to my daughter? I mean come on, he can't even get a real job because of his record. If businesses won't hire him because his background means he is a liability, wouldn't that be the same for my daughter?

Also, our parenting plan states "neither parent shall permit the child to be subjected to persons abusing alcohol or using illegal drugs". Would that mean anything to the courts?

Not to beat myself up but trust me...my daughter will not be dating criminals as long as I am alive. ;)
 
Also would you happen to know, upon me requesting, if a judge would order a hair follicle drug test on the boyfriend?
 
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"Caliber"
Im pretty sure we know what I meant.

Also, forgot to mention mom has a not so good background with the courts including alcohol problems, poor choice of boyfriends, bad parenting and it has been noted by a GAL that she has one chance let. One more screw up and I am awarded full custody.

And I can tell you right now that what the GAL may have told you is completely irrelevant - and absolutely not enforceable.

Wouldn't his background prove he is a threat to my daughter? I mean come on, he can't even get a real job because of his record. If businesses won't hire him because his background means he is a liability, wouldn't that be the same for my daughter?

Nope. And the fact that Mom has been with him for awhile and the child is unharmed doesn't help you.

Also, our parenting plan states "neither parent shall permit the child to be subjected to persons abusing alcohol or using illegal drugs". Would that mean anything to the courts?

If it's provable, yes. The court isn't going to take your word for it though.

Not to beat myself up but trust me...my daughter will not be dating criminals as long as I am alive. ;)


Come back and tell me that when she's 17 and pregnant to the local deadbeat.

No, really.
 
Also would you happen to know, upon me requesting, if a judge would order a hair follicle drug test on the boyfriend?


Not going to happen. The court CANNOT order a legal stranger (ie, the boyfriend) to participate in a drug test.
 
Just because he is not hirable does not mean he is poor influence to your child although I agree I would not want him near mine. Let me ask you if she has a bad record of parenting why was she awarded your child? Unless BF is living with Mom his life and lifestyle wont matter much nor will it be likely he will need or best ask to drug test.
 
If it's provable? He just got busted for a DWI...aggravated that is. Also was arrested in 2009 for possession. Would the courts count that as proof?
GAL did not tell me that. He told the courts that, it is written on paper too.
Do I have a right to tell him I don't want him at drop offs, scheduled activities, gymnastics meets, soccer games in which it is my parenting time?
 
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Just because he is not hirable does not mean he is poor influence to your child although I agree I would not want him near mine. Let me ask you if she has a bad record of parenting why was she awarded your child? Unless BF is living with Mom his life and lifestyle wont matter much nor will it be likely he will need or best ask to drug test.

her actions have not yet affected the child. That is why we still have 50/50. But the courts have had enough of her and gave her one last chance. She has broken the law of which includes a DWI and indecent exposure while intoxicated. she was found in a walmart parking lot in her car, drunk, with feces all over her. She had no pants on also. That was a fun police report to read!

But because my daughter wasn't there while all this happened they decided to give her a third and last chance.

I have also taken her to court in past years for being in an abusive relationship. By time trial came, they broke up. So I lost that case. But there is plenty court document about her past bad relationships.

The courts have also ordered her to not drink while having my daughter, not drink within 24 hours of having my daughter. She is also not allowed to drink while on her crazy meds.
 
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If it's provable? He just got busted for a DWI...aggravated that is. Also was arrested in 2009 for possession. Would the courts count that as proof?

Was your child present during any of that?

GAL did not tell me that. He told the courts that, it is written on paper too.
Do I have a right to tell him I don't want him at drop offs, scheduled activities, gymnastics meets, soccer games in which it is my parenting time?


Drop-offs...perhaps.

The rest? Nope. He can be present.
 
her actions have not yet affected the child. That is why we still have 50/50. But the courts have had enough of her and gave her one last chance. She has broken the law of which includes a DWI and indecent exposure while intoxicated. she was found in a walmart parking lot in her car, drunk, with feces all over her. She had no pants on also. That was a fun police report to read!

But because my daughter wasn't there while all this happened they decided to give her a third and last chance.

I have also taken her to court in past years for being in an abusive relationship. By time trial came, they broke up. So I lost that case. But there is plenty court document about her past bad relationships.

The courts have also ordered her to not drink while having my daughter, not drink within 24 hours of having my daughter. She is also not allowed to drink while on her crazy meds.



None of this changes the answers you have already received.
 
No she was not present. But he is a person abusing alcohol. Does that count?

So, what im getting here, there is nothing I can do about this loser being around my daughter and continuing to break the law. It makes me sick thinking they are sleeping in hotels together, sleeping over his house etc.

Why doesn't the law protect the child from criminals. Why can't a father decide he doesn't want his daughter around a law breaking fool. Crazy, just crazy.
 
No she was not present. But he is a person abusing alcohol. Does that count?

So, what im getting here, there is nothing I can do about this loser being around my daughter and continuing to break the law. It makes me sick thinking they are sleeping in hotels together, sleeping over his house etc.

Why doesn't the law protect the child from criminals. Why can't a father decide he doesn't want his daughter around a law breaking fool. Crazy, just crazy.



I get that you're frustrated - and rightly so. But the court trusts you and Mom to keep your mutual child safe.

Believe it or not, even convicted felons can have custody of their own children.

Again, the fact that Mom has been with him for a year and the child hasn't been harmed is in Mom's favor.
 
If Mom has known drug/alcohol problem and she is forbidden to drink or use during time she has your child you can certainly request a test before visits
 
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