My Daughter's Father Refuses to Give Her Back to Me

[itsneverreallyover]

My daughter was born 8/12/08 and is now 2 years old.
Her father and I were in a relationship until April 2010, when I left him for being emotionally abusive and controlling. We were switching off visitation week to week when we first split up, many of which times he skipped out or was late on picking our daughter up.
We continued week-to-week visitation until July, when we decided to do month to month because he moved 3 hours away. He had her through July, I had her from August to October. We had never gone to court for custody and still have not had anything court ordered. He took her in October and moved from our home state of WV to NC with her. We made an agreement that since I had her for her birthday in August, he would get her for October and then again for December so he could share Christmas with her. I was going to have her in November. When the end of October came, I had just started a new job and needed an extra week into November to save money for my trip to pick her up in NC. (He actually didn't tell me he was moving to NC until after he did so.) He said he was not comfortable with me having her in November because he was not confident I could get her back to him by Christmas.
So, I foolishly agreed to just let him keep her through Christmas-time and I would come get her the beginning of January 2011.
I am ready to go get her, but now he is refusing to let me take her because he says he is worried I will not let him have her back. All this time he has had her there have been no issues with me getting her back, he agreed to everything, and is aware that I have paid for my trip to get her this month in full and it is non-refundable. I will let it be known that he and I were never married, he is listed on the birth certificate, and that I am extremely afraid of him taking off with her and not telling me where she is if he feels intimidated at all due to threats he has made to me recently and in the past.
I need to know where to start, who can help me, if it would be foolish of me to travel there and try to take her, or anything else that might be important to getting my daughter back.

 

[army judge]

My daughter was born 8/12/08 and is now 2 years old.
Her father and I were in a relationship until April 2010, when I left him for being emotionally abusive and controlling. We were switching off visitation week to week when we first split up, many of which times he skipped out or was late on picking our daughter up.
We continued week-to-week visitation until July, when we decided to do month to month because he moved 3 hours away. He had her through July, I had her from August to October. We had never gone to court for custody and still have not had anything court ordered. He took her in October and moved from our home state of WV to NC with her. We made an agreement that since I had her for her birthday in August, he would get her for October and then again for December so he could share Christmas with her. I was going to have her in November. When the end of October came, I had just started a new job and needed an extra week into November to save money for my trip to pick her up in NC. (He actually didn't tell me he was moving to NC until after he did so.) He said he was not comfortable with me having her in November because he was not confident I could get her back to him by Christmas.
So, I foolishly agreed to just let him keep her through Christmas-time and I would come get her the beginning of January 2011.
I am ready to go get her, but now he is refusing to let me take her because he says he is worried I will not let him have her back. All this time he has had her there have been no issues with me getting her back, he agreed to everything, and is aware that I have paid for my trip to get her this month in full and it is non-refundable. I will let it be known that he and I were never married, he is listed on the birth certificate, and that I am extremely afraid of him taking off with her and not telling me where she is if he feels intimidated at all due to threats he has made to me recently and in the past.
I need to know where to start, who can help me, if it would be foolish of me to travel there and try to take her, or anything else that might be important to getting my daughter back.

Until paternity is established (a name on a birth certificate does not necessarily accomplish that requirement), he is a legal stranger to that child.
AS THE BIRTH MOTHER OF THE CHILD, you ARE GIFTED WITH SOLE CUSTODY AND CONTROL OF THE CHILD, UNTIL A COURT SAYS OTHERWISE.
You need to start court proceedings to establish paternity, custody, and support.

You should speak with a lawyer, ASAP!!!!
If you are unable to retain an attorney (or as another way establish custody, control, and support), you can work with your state's child welfare agency to do so.

Here is an address that you might want to review:

http://www.wvdhhr.org/bcse/

They will assist you with custody and support arrangements.

Finally, never make any agreement on the side.
Why?
Take note of the dilemma in which you now are trying to extricate yourself and your precious child.

Contact the state agency below on Monday.
Do not wait.
I don't want to scare you, but you need to get your child back sooner, rather than later!

Please do not tarry in getting your child back.
Technically, the man that is holding your child has KIDNAPPED or ABDUCTED her.
He isn't legally her father.
God bless you, and I hope you get your little princess back soon!

The WV BCSE offers a variety of services to help you to secure support from the parent(s) of the child. Some of the services available through the WV BCSE are:

- Locating the parent(s)
- Legally establishing paternity
- Establishing child support
- Establishing medical support and/or health insurance coverage
- Collecting support payments
- Enforcing a court order
- Reviewing and modifying the court order

Please be prepared to verify certain information in order for your case to be processed. Failure to provide copies of these documents could delay the processing of your case.

Complete one application for each Obligor.

Please use ink; print clearly and legibly.

Please note that there is only one page for Child Information. If you have more than one child, you will need to fill out the additional child form located at the bottom of this page.

Once you have completed the application and have carefully read your Rights and Responsibilities, sign and date the application. Some pages of the application require signatures before a Notary Public. DO NOT sign without a notary present. If you can not locate a notary, these pages can be completed at your appointment with the BCSE. You will need to contact your local DHHR-BCSE office by mail or telephone to schedule an appointment. Should you have further questions you may contact your local office or BCSE Customer Service Unit at 1-800-249-3778.