my ex is trying to keep my boyfriend away

[tiffany86]

me and my husband have been seperated for five years and we have been in and out of court over custody of our six year old daughter.i have a boyfreind with whom i have a two year daughter with and wish to stay with him but my ex is fighting to keep him out of my our daughters life.recently he has succeded because my boyfriend got put back in for spitting on my exs.girlfriend after she tried to choke him.he has been in for parole violations and on parole for stealing cars.he is a good person and real good with her and our other daughter.we wish to remain together but my ex is making it very hard.he tells lies and and gets friends to back him up.my ex has a past when he was younger involving some(wrong)stuff with his sisters resulting with him being on meds for awhile.but the courts chalked it up to sibling curiousity.she is getting older now and starting to act out.i need advice on what to do.thank you

 

[CdwJava]

First, why have you not divorced the not-so-ex, ex? Five years, a new boyfriend and child, and still no divorce?

The ex is lucky as he could find himself legally responsible for your boyfriend's child with you because he is the presumed parent until paternity is otherwise legally established with the boyfriend. I would have thought he would have run to divorce court when you ended up pregnant just to avoid additional liability.

Second, you went from a guy with a past to a guy on parole?? He is a "good person" but has been put in prison for stealing cars? Miss, let me tell you that no one goes to prison for stealing one or two cars ... if he went to prison it was because he had much more serious crimes that were plead DOWN to felony auto theft with prison time, or he has a far more extensive criminal history. It wouldn't have been carjacking, would it? In any event, this may not be the wisest choice of a new partner. But, I am sure you have heard that and choose to see the "good person" in him that is trying to get out.

Oh, and he did not go back to prison for spitting on the ex's girlfriend's car. Try again.

You and your daughter need to enter into counseling if she is acting out. Maybe all of you need to go into some form of counseling. It may also be time to close the door on the marriage and be done with it. Maybe that kind of finality will lend itself to a new beginning for all of you.

I can understand your ex not wanting his daughter exposed to a parolee. I wouldn't like it either. And it may well be that he can take you to court and seek custody of her as a result of this relationship with the new boyfriend. Your ex's past is neither here nor there because, apparently, the court did not even consider the matter so it is a legal non-starter. However, a court will see your boyfriend's criminal past and if it is extensive or violent (which is likely) they may well agree with a petition from the ex to gain custody of your daughter.

You might also consider some counseling for yourself to try and sort out what is best for you, and for your children. Never ending drama and a step-dad and daddy that is in and out of prison is no a good thing for you or the children. Time to sit back, get sme perspective, and figure out where you want to go.

Good luck.

 

[mightymoose]

If you are still married to him then he has quite a bit of say so where the boyfriend has none. You have yourself in a mess.

 

[bluemann33]

Its time to get a divorce and go to court to figure out custody and visitations. That will atleast have the rules layed out, then both of you must follow the courts decision and hopefully calm the situation down. Good luck.

 

[army judge]

Is your boyfriend GOOD for you and your child?

Read your post.

You know the answer.

Good luck!