My story, my questions, from FLA.

[cslally]

Well, I am thinking of using a mediator for this, but my wife and I decided last night to divorce. Neither of us has filed, but we've have talked about it before. We bought a new house 13 months ago, in a brand new neighborhood, half the development still being built. We have new homes all around us still not even sold. We are not, or were not rather, upside down on equity, however the way the market has turned we likely are now. Wife hasn't worked in the marriage ever. We have no real assets nor credit. She is taking online course that graduates next March. Limited marketable skills. 4 kids, 18, 14, 9, and 9 (10 months apart). Oldest 2 are hers from previous marriage, but have been with me for 12 years. Younger 2 are ours together. Live in Florida. I had an affair 6 years ago, but she took me back. A seperation occured when she left with the kids to her moms, October 2 years ago, January to return. I likely will be responsible for Child support and Alimony at least till she gets on her feet. The most pressing issue is what to do with the house. Neither of us can afford to pay for it on our own, I guess depending on the CS and Alimony that is. Getting out of the house is probably the biggest issue affecting our split.

So, Should I find a mediator first, contact a lawyer, contact a realestate agent and get the house on the market, or contact the mortgage company and ask about options...?

We may not be able to get out of the house without a loss. We may have to get a deed in lieu of foreclosure although that would sit on our credit for 10 years. We might have to just bail on the house.

Please!!! guidance and direction here would be wonderful. I really can't afford a lawyer and am considering trying to do this on my own

 

[Carpet_Dude]

Anything the two of you can agree on, the judge will most likely sign.

FIRST thing I would do is see your pastor/preacher to discuss this matter. If you don't have one, then find the smallest church in your area and walk in the door. Smaller churches seem to me to be more likely to give you the attention you need.

If nothing can be worked out between the two of you, Sell the house, split or take the loss yourself, agree on child support, and start life over. I personally don't believe in "Alimony". Tell her to get a job!

Just my thoughts!

I'll pray for your family. Hope you do the same.