Need advise trying to gain full custody

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famof8

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Hi
I am seeking full custody of my two children they are ages 16 and 14, we have a current joint custody order in place since 1999, but their father has not played an active role in their lives. He does no call, does not pay ordered child support, and frankly doesnt care. When I called him to tell him that I was going to file for full custody he said fine but I will fight you. Now this is a man who is remarried, doesnt visit, call, provide any support or play an active tole in either kids lives. My oldest son tried having a relationship with his father and now he is in a youth center because he got charged with posession cause his step mother gave him a controlled substance and she admitted to that and did jail time herself. My daughter which is the youngest hasnt seen her father in 2 years and if she calls to talk to her grandmother (her father lives with his mother) then he just says oh your mom is brainwashing you but he never comes to see her or anything. and since our oldest son has been in a youth which is since last July his father has not called him, written or visited him. I am remarried and have been for almost 10 years my husband has been caring for my children since day one just like they were his own. My ultimate goal is to have my husband adopt them he loves them and they love him. God forbid something happen to me I wouldnt want my children to b stuck living with their biological father. He has been in and out of jail, is an alcoholic and abuses drugs and has had gang affiliation in the past. He has no job and no financial means his home is in disarray and is not suited for children to b there. I am wanting to insure my childrens future I should have done this a long time ago but I want to get it taken care of before my oldest child comes back home. Thank you PLEASE HELP :)
 
Do you realize that sole custody doesn't take away Dad's rights?

Even if you get sole custody if something happens to you, the kids are going to go to Dad.

The ONLY way to change that is by having your husband adopt - and for that, you need an attorney.
 
Proserpina,

I have a question related to this...when I went to court initially years ago I wanted sole custody and the judge told me that he was giving us joint legal but me primary physical. His reason for that was because he said he gave it to everyone and joint custody would mean that the father would get the child in the event something would happen to me. So now I am a little confused I thought that was his reasoning for this the whole time. I guess not?
 
jaysma said:
Proserpina,

I have a question related to this...when I went to court initially years ago I wanted sole custody and the judge told me that he was giving us joint legal but me primary physical. His reason for that was because he said he gave it to everyone and joint custody would mean that the father would get the child in the event something would happen to me. So now I am a little confused I thought that was his reasoning for this the whole time. I guess not?
Click to expand...

Ask this on your own thread.
 
jaysma said:
Proserpina,

I have a question related to this...when I went to court initially years ago I wanted sole custody and the judge told me that he was giving us joint legal but me primary physical. His reason for that was because he said he gave it to everyone and joint custody would mean that the father would get the child in the event something would happen to me. So now I am a little confused I thought that was his reasoning for this the whole time. I guess not?
Click to expand...



(Bay, I hope you don't mind me answering here since it's an easy one :) ;) )


Even if you have sole legal custody, this does not remove the other parent's legal rights. All it means is that the sole legal parent has sole decision-making authority - that's really ALL sole legal custody is. The parent decides on healthcare issues (outside of emergency situations), schooling, that sort of thing.

If the sole legal custodial parent dies, the first in line for custody is the other parent. End of story. Because that parent has never lost his or her parental rights. Now, this doesn't mean that the court will automatically send the bereaved child to live with the other parent. I'll give you an example of a time when this might not happen:

Johnny is 12. He lives with his Mom and Grandma, and has done since he was 2. He hasn't seen or heard from his father since he was 2. Dad lives several states away.

Johnny's Mom dies suddenly. Grandma immediately files for temporary custody. Dad is notified of course, and also files for custody.

In this scenario, the court may well decide that it's in Johnny's best interest to remain with Grandma instead of ripping him from everything he's familiar with. This is one occasion where the court can - legally - override the other parent's natural rights and place the child elsewhere (in this case with Grandma).

Does this make more sense now?
 
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