Alcohol & Drugs: MIP, MIC, Intoxication need help for stepson

[colleen9467]

I live (along with my two minor children) with my boyfriend and his two minor children. We have recently found marijuana in his oldest child's bedroom and we know that he has been smoking it on a regular basis - we can smell it. He has continually lied about possessing and smoking and we have taken his paraphanelia away and disposed of it a number of times - each time, he promises that it's the last...blah blah blah. He has been to counselling, been put on anti-depressants, etc., but refuses to do any of that any longer. Is there anything that we can do legally that may help out that won't get his father or myself in trouble as well? Neither of us has health insurance that will cover an in-patient rehab and we don't have the financial resources to make up any difference. We thought that a scare in a juvenile facility may do some good, but are unsure as to the consequences to ourselves as adults and to his son as a 16 year old.

 

[CdwJava]

First off, he's not legally your stepson so there is really nothing YOU can do about the issue ... unless you call the police (which IS an option).

In the short run, it's time for some tough love. Remove things from his room that he enjoys and places he can hide the dope - toys such as a computer, cell phone, iPod, TV, etc. and furniture such as a dresser, desk, etc. He can earn these back with good acts, chores, and truthful behavior. Dad should also consider random drug testing - there are home testing kits he can purchase that will allow him to test junior at home and find out within minutes if he is doing dope or not. Then there is counseling - which can often be had for free or reduced cost through the city or county health, social services, or mental health agencies. Drug counseling is also often freely available as well.

The consequences of just crossing fingers and hoping he cleans up are far greater than any risk to his father or you. In fact, if it all does come to light and the authorities determine that the two of you did not do all you could to address the matter, you could be charged with a crime and/or lose the other children.

The sword of Damocles would be to call the police when he acts out or you find dope. That will get the matter before a court and compel him to comply ... it may seem harsh, but the alternative is that he will drag the rest of you down with him by his continued activity.

- Carl

 

[jacksgal]

You and Dad might consider joining Nar Anon or Alanon both groups will help you in your living situation greatly and possibly help the young man recover himself