magnesiumore
New Member
I'm not sure if a lawyer can help me, or how to describe it. I just have to do something. This may be a case of psychological cruelty to me and/or elder abuse to my mother. I appreciate any advice I can get.
My mom died last year of cancer. My sister was given medical decision rights. My sister and I absolutely despise each other. My sister used her position in an abusive manner.
I was excluded from medical information, updates, or decisions. My sister lobbied family members, nurses and the social worker for the hospital to sector me out. When I insisted on being included she threatened "I'll have you hurt so bad that you won't believe it". Her husband made me leave the hospital room using threatening body language. My sister arranged for our cousins to intimidate me and keep me in check. The social worker took me aside to lecture me. The nurse in the ICU was explicitly disrespectful to me.
I never did anything whatsoever to precipitate any of this, in word or deed. It was all based on my sister's vindictive characterization of me as a "problem". I sensed I was being harrassed in order to get me to react so they could have me thrown out. I refused to take the bait and it just escalated.
Here is the worst part.
On my mom's last day she talked to my sister. I stood behind her waiting my turn. My sister hissed at me GET OUT with fury in her face. I walked away and waited 10 minutes.
My sister came out so I went in to talk to my mom. As I walked towards the bed I saw my sister whisper something to the nurse on the way out. I believe what she whispered to the nurse precipitated the following outrage.
I started my last conversation with my mom and the nurse snuck in from the side slipping a tight fitting air mask over my moms face. My mother struggled trying to get it off so she could talk to me. I tried to pull it off but I couldnt. I was in shock. I felt helpless. I didn't know what to do. I had no one friendly to turn to. Looking back I should have cut the mask off. I hate myself for not doing it. It was her last day. I was kept from getting to say goodbye. She never talked to anyone after that. Her last conscious moments were struggling and despair like she was drowning. It may have caused her to die sooner.
I think the nurse waited behind the curtain to deliberately cut my mom off at the worst possible time during our conversation. I told my mom you are the most important person in the world to me, I'll miss you so much, and I want you to picture me successful and happy. She said its ok even if you're not. Then she said "it's all trial and error". I didn't understand what she meant. I sensed she thought she might have given the wrong impression so she started to explain herself but right at that exact moment the nurse popped in, put the mask over mom's face VERY quickly, and walked away. She didnt give my mom any warning. The nurse never said a word to me about why she did it. She just threw it over my mom's face, turned her back and walked away; no explanation.
I knew the nurse's motives were sadistic because earlier I took her aside and asked if I could get the latest medical update on my mom's condition. she snarled at me you get that through your doctor. She turned her back on me and roughly threw the curtain shut. She had a hostile tone and body language right in front of my mother. Moments later she commented under her breath "I'm a bitch" for me to hear. I got the sense she was deliberately trying to provoke me so that she could kick me out. I refused to take the bait. I didn't dare take any of it. I just withstood horrible abuse so that I could be near my mother.
Can I sue my sister? The nurse? The hospital? Thx for reading.
My mom died last year of cancer. My sister was given medical decision rights. My sister and I absolutely despise each other. My sister used her position in an abusive manner.
I was excluded from medical information, updates, or decisions. My sister lobbied family members, nurses and the social worker for the hospital to sector me out. When I insisted on being included she threatened "I'll have you hurt so bad that you won't believe it". Her husband made me leave the hospital room using threatening body language. My sister arranged for our cousins to intimidate me and keep me in check. The social worker took me aside to lecture me. The nurse in the ICU was explicitly disrespectful to me.
I never did anything whatsoever to precipitate any of this, in word or deed. It was all based on my sister's vindictive characterization of me as a "problem". I sensed I was being harrassed in order to get me to react so they could have me thrown out. I refused to take the bait and it just escalated.
Here is the worst part.
On my mom's last day she talked to my sister. I stood behind her waiting my turn. My sister hissed at me GET OUT with fury in her face. I walked away and waited 10 minutes.
My sister came out so I went in to talk to my mom. As I walked towards the bed I saw my sister whisper something to the nurse on the way out. I believe what she whispered to the nurse precipitated the following outrage.
I started my last conversation with my mom and the nurse snuck in from the side slipping a tight fitting air mask over my moms face. My mother struggled trying to get it off so she could talk to me. I tried to pull it off but I couldnt. I was in shock. I felt helpless. I didn't know what to do. I had no one friendly to turn to. Looking back I should have cut the mask off. I hate myself for not doing it. It was her last day. I was kept from getting to say goodbye. She never talked to anyone after that. Her last conscious moments were struggling and despair like she was drowning. It may have caused her to die sooner.
I think the nurse waited behind the curtain to deliberately cut my mom off at the worst possible time during our conversation. I told my mom you are the most important person in the world to me, I'll miss you so much, and I want you to picture me successful and happy. She said its ok even if you're not. Then she said "it's all trial and error". I didn't understand what she meant. I sensed she thought she might have given the wrong impression so she started to explain herself but right at that exact moment the nurse popped in, put the mask over mom's face VERY quickly, and walked away. She didnt give my mom any warning. The nurse never said a word to me about why she did it. She just threw it over my mom's face, turned her back and walked away; no explanation.
I knew the nurse's motives were sadistic because earlier I took her aside and asked if I could get the latest medical update on my mom's condition. she snarled at me you get that through your doctor. She turned her back on me and roughly threw the curtain shut. She had a hostile tone and body language right in front of my mother. Moments later she commented under her breath "I'm a bitch" for me to hear. I got the sense she was deliberately trying to provoke me so that she could kick me out. I refused to take the bait. I didn't dare take any of it. I just withstood horrible abuse so that I could be near my mother.
Can I sue my sister? The nurse? The hospital? Thx for reading.
