jpribble13
New Member
I have a 12 yr old and a 17 year old daughter. I have been separated from their dad (living in separate residences) for the past 4 years. Until now, it wasn't necessary to file for divorce. During this time he and I got along quite well, shared time with our kids, etc. He has them 2 evenings a week until 9pm and every other weekend. I made it a point to include him in all holiday celebrations etc...because it was best for my daughters. I did not ask for any ANY child support during this separation. There have been MANY times I have asked him to help me with a large expense, and occassionally he has, but mostly I get the answer...."I have no money." Ok, I sucked it up and pay for (no exaggeration) 90% of their expenses including school, cheerleading, clothes, shoes, sporting equipment, prom dresses, hair appointments, doctor bills, etc. He does pay 1/2 of my 17 year old's car insurance and they are on his medical insurance, but their part is, literally, about $100 a month.
Enter new girlfriend.
New girlfriend calls 12 year old daughter a b-word. I try to let dad handle the issue. It is not handled. 12 year old now refuses to go with dad because dad refuses to believe this happened. I try to encourage her to still go with dad, but she literally, refuses. Not getting out of the car, etc. 17 year old still goes, but she has her own life, and it is a "as she wants" kind of thing.
Now, Dad is pushing for divorce, and it is more than past time. He wants to claim the girls on his taxes every other year, have them for holidays, and continue the visitation as we previously arranged. In all honesty, I do not really care about the child support part. Help would be nice, but I have made it for 4 years.
My daughters and their dad have always (I do mean always from birth) gone to my families Thanksgiving and Christmas and Fourth of July Celebrations. This includes the past 4 of them, even while separated. The girls wanted him there, and I had no problem with that. I wanted them to have the same routine and enjoy the holidays and there was never a problem.
Yesterday he springs on them that he wants them every other year for Christmas (his family has no celebration until Christmas night, and they have ALWAYS been allowed to go to this) and Thanksgiving and July 4th. My daughters are livid, and do NOT want to be with him on these holidays. They still want to go to his family's celebration on Christmas night, but not Christmas Eve or Christmas Day until that time. They do not want to go with him on Thanksgiving or July 4th either. I have a very close family and they adore their grandparents.
Here are my questions.
1) Do my daughters get a say in this?
2) Will they look at the established routine the past 4 years?
3) What is a fair amout of child support?
4) My oldest will be going to college next year, then what?
5) Can my very mature and articulate 12 year old decide where she wants to spend holidays?
Thank you for any information.
nej
Enter new girlfriend.
New girlfriend calls 12 year old daughter a b-word. I try to let dad handle the issue. It is not handled. 12 year old now refuses to go with dad because dad refuses to believe this happened. I try to encourage her to still go with dad, but she literally, refuses. Not getting out of the car, etc. 17 year old still goes, but she has her own life, and it is a "as she wants" kind of thing.
Now, Dad is pushing for divorce, and it is more than past time. He wants to claim the girls on his taxes every other year, have them for holidays, and continue the visitation as we previously arranged. In all honesty, I do not really care about the child support part. Help would be nice, but I have made it for 4 years.
My daughters and their dad have always (I do mean always from birth) gone to my families Thanksgiving and Christmas and Fourth of July Celebrations. This includes the past 4 of them, even while separated. The girls wanted him there, and I had no problem with that. I wanted them to have the same routine and enjoy the holidays and there was never a problem.
Yesterday he springs on them that he wants them every other year for Christmas (his family has no celebration until Christmas night, and they have ALWAYS been allowed to go to this) and Thanksgiving and July 4th. My daughters are livid, and do NOT want to be with him on these holidays. They still want to go to his family's celebration on Christmas night, but not Christmas Eve or Christmas Day until that time. They do not want to go with him on Thanksgiving or July 4th either. I have a very close family and they adore their grandparents.
Here are my questions.
1) Do my daughters get a say in this?
2) Will they look at the established routine the past 4 years?
3) What is a fair amout of child support?
4) My oldest will be going to college next year, then what?
5) Can my very mature and articulate 12 year old decide where she wants to spend holidays?
Thank you for any information.
nej
