no contact in 2 1/2 years, modify CS?

[tymom]

My jurisdiction is: Florida

Here is the situation:

I have been divorced for 4.5 years. A lot has changed in these last couple years. When we got divorced my ex husband had no income, and I was in the Air Force as an E-3(making significantly more than him). So child support was set at $310, even though he was in the process of joining the Army. When he joined the Army I didn't think of modifying CS, I was young and didn't want to be "mean". However, "our" son is 5 years old and has no idea who his biological father is. I haven't even heard from my ex since September of 2006 (I have the same address and phone, he does not). Before that he had voluntarily not seen his son since November of 2005. Basically this guy wants nothing to do with his kid! I have been getting CS, because he is in the Army and they take it out automatically. The last time I talked to him I did ask for him to relinquish his parental rights and he refused. Now over 2.5 years later of absolutely NO contact, I want to take action. The last I heard about him he was an E-5 Sergeant, remarried with child. I now have two children, married and no job. Is this a good time to try to raise child support or try to modify custody? I truly don't want anything from him but I don't want him getting a hair up his you know what and show up at my door one day out of no where demanding to see his son. I have a wonderful husband who is a perfect father to my first son, and has been his DAD since he was 1. My biggest fear is something happening to me and the court ordering my oldest to go live with his biological father who he doesn't even know! What can I do???? Please help!!!!!!

 

[Duranie]

You cannot have it both ways. If you apply for an increase in child support, he will likely fight you for visitation and will probably get it. Your husband has no legal rights here so if something happened to you, Dad would likely get custody. In most states both incomes are used so even though you are not working, you are capable of working so an income will likely be inputed. I would google your CS guidelines first. If Dad has more kids that might offset any CS increase as well. Sometimes it is better to let sleeping dogs lie. If you want nothing to do with Dad, I would leave it the way it is.

 

[tymom]

Would his wife's income be considered also? I am in school right now, and we can not afford putting both of my kids in school with the income I would make with a job around here. Would the child support be based off of household income vs household income? If his other child is considered, is my other child considered as well in modifying CS? He is stationed in Germany (as far as I know), and his wife is also military. How does this affect things? I can't bare the thought of that guy getting my son if anything happened to me, especially since he has a wonderful life here with his stepfather and brother.

 

[Duranie]

His wife's income is not used just like your husbands is not used for CS purposes either. You might qualify for an income increase if he has had an income increase but you still are required to support the child so be advised, you not working is not grounds for an increase alone. If you want it apply for it but I'm just wanring you,this could trigger some involvement from him. If you want money from him but yet no rights that is no going to happen. If you want him to terminate his rights and your husband adopt, that could be an option too.